am I a mess or what?

I have always had depression and anxiety. I have ptsd and panic attacks. I am some better thanks to medication, and lots of therapy. I take effexor, wellbutrin, ambien, gabapenten, abilify, prasosin and terazosin. I believe I am having derealization now as episodes of feeling that this life is't real, that I could do something horrible but it would'nt be real, and these make me sick to my stomach and panic. I also have bought items that I have no recollection when or where I was. This is a new thing. Also, I often break out with terrible itching and scratch myself raw on hands,arms, legs and feet. I feel this is due to anxiety. I have hypervigilance, and taking a shower is a great task/chore. At least I keep my apt tidy. WOW I have Never posted anything this long, I'm ranting, sorry. Maybe I'll feel better now. What do you think about that?

Hi. I'd talk to a Dr about your memory loss and itching. I wonder if you're experiencing sn allergic reaction to some of your medicine. If it gets awful for me (itching) I take benadryl, but that might not be safe with your other meds. Be sure you don't add alcohol to the mix. I'd write down all these side effects for a Dr to read. I've had trouble showering too when I'm depressed, and I'll stay in pj's.

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Thank you for the input. That's very helpful. I was going to drink some today but something told me not to. It's just not worth it. again, thanks.