If on disability, what do you say when asked "so what do you do for a living?".

I don't know. There is a reason they are familiar with this stuff too and I don't ask them either. The other day I felt really bad for this women's daughter. Mom told the entire group at a party all her daughter's mental health issues including jail time, etc. thank goodness she wasn't in the next room but I still feel that was not a nice thing to do.

Got a hobby? Say that and keep it lighthearted. They might think you don't need to work!

[QUOTE=Michanne;3465209]Got a hobby? Say that and keep it lighthearted. They might think you don't need to work![/QUOT

Why do you believe you owe anyone an explanation, particularly a stranger?

The best response is to say, I don't you well enough to share that you.

Why are you so afraid of possible insulting a person who has already insulted you by asking the question?

I invite you to do "The Work" of Byron Katie. I am not affiliate with her. By doing The Work I have come to a greater understanding of myself and my relationships outside of myself.

Facebook: The work of Byron Katie, or so a search for same.

I say i take the nice tax money that i once payed to all the kind people like our self. Then smile and say have a nice day.

A twist on this please..... What if some of these people are not strangers. What if they are people I haven't seen in years? For example, returning to the city I used to live in.

"Don't work at the moment" will work as well. Share details only with those you consider worth it.

Well if you want to go that far and you know you are going to run in to those old people then make up a white lie, Say you are actually just on town on serious business that you cant discuss as it would get in you trouble...that will keep them thinking.

Depending on my mood, I will either just tell them, or tell them I am a struggling artist. If they ask what I make, I tell them it's web based. I haven't dug myself into a major hole as of yet. A lot of people say mental illness is not true, or a joke. So when it comes to disability it's a touch and go subject. It really depends on my mood.

[QUOTE=nanrob;3465393]Because it is generally in the context of a social situation where people are just trying to get to know you or starting small talk. I don't think they are trying to insult anyone and it is not insulting (in the US anyway). By being immediately standoffish you could be pushing away the chance to get to know somebody really cool or just to engage in a few minutes of good conversation.

Also, it has already been stated here that disability is not a job or career. By saying you are on disability you are telling them more than they need to know...1. You are disabled in some way and 2. The govt is paying for your expenses and by extension, you don't earn a living wage. Then you are telling them it is none of their business even though you just opened the door. I think that is unfair to them. If they push then I push back and no, I am not afraid to do that. Really not necessary if I haven't opened the door.

Finally a hobby could become a business so you are not lying and you are talking about something that interests you...maybe you are even passionate about. You can be gracious and authentic at the same time.

Disclosure. I am not on disability but I have (and am) out of work. Of course this sometimes comes up with other mental health issues too.

I've heard of Byron Katie. I've been knee deep in Brenė Brown's work for about 8 months. She would advocate for not sharing that you are on disability until you get to know them. It's about keeping healthy boundaries.

I used to work twelve on my feet in the day time and twelve hours on my feet
in the night time at a trucking company! Then I got disabled!frank)

I agree that it's impolite. It's just that it's become so commonplace that a lot of people don't really think about it.
I tell people I'm a writer. It's true. I write. And when they ask me what I write, I tell them: poetry, fiction, nonfiction, essays, articles. It's funny because I really get grilled sometimes. I think by telling people I have an artistic pursuit I'm actually worse off than telling them I'm on disability. Either is frowned upon in most circles, from what I gather. Both are misconstrued as 'laziness'.

Why to people think that questions about job are impolite? When one works, they spend majority of their day at job. So it will define them in some way.

When I was unemployed questions like that bothered me a bit... but that was MY frustrations about MY situations not people being impolite.

As for people asking "why are you on disability" after you said you are... can be curiousity. Concern. Doesn't have to be meant rudely. If you don't want to share, don't dig in the topic in the first place.

Yes, asking about people's occupation is an icebreaker in social situations. However, they then use that information to judge your standing in society. Americans strongly define themselves and others by their work. (That good old Puritan work ethic!) If you don't work or aren't doing well at your work, then you are judged to be worthless. Americans forget that people are much more than their jobs. They can't think of people outside the context of work. They need to know your occupation in order to know how to think of you and how to treat you.

Think that's a lot of hoo-ey? Suppose you meet someone of indeterminate gender. How would you respond to that person? Would you treat them differently if you knew whether they were female or male? Probably. We have different attitudes and standards for men and women, for people of different age groups, for different racial ethnicities, etc. Occupation is no different. If occupation didn't matter, then it would not be such a huge factor in determining where you fit in the socio-economic strata.

People want to label you and put you in a box. That's not necessarily a positive or negative. It's really a time-saver. Way back when our ancestors were living in caves (or whatever), they had to be able to make snap judgments about situations, including people, in order to survive. Today, we generally don't need to rely on making snap judgments correctly in order to stay alive. However, evolution has not caught up with that yet.

Back to OP's question, I would say something that bypasses the whole work thing. Someone suggested earlier to say that you're between jobs. Certainly in this economy people don't judge those between jobs nearly as harshly as they used to. Then I would say that in the meantime I'm taking advantage of the time off to pursue other things. Then people get jealous of me for having the luxury of extra time.

Are they really thinking you are lazy? I suppose it could be in some circles but I find most people to be curious and interested. I often answer art or pt art teacher (don't do teaching t anymore so that is past) when I can. My ft job is database engineering but I don't want to talk about it so I minimize or don't mention it. And anyway people that aren't in it don't understand it and don't really care. Hah... I dare say they could see me as a sellout!

I just tell people that's a personal question I prefer not to answer. No one needs to know what I did, what I'm doing now, or what I'll be doing in the future.

But I might tell you guys, if you're nice to me.

I say I'm medically retired.

I say, "I'm not working right now" and I don't get bothered beyond that.

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I say, "I was a college professor, but now I am on disability because of health problems." I might mention writing and volunteering, depending on any persistence.

I am older, though, and approaching genuine retirement age.

I tell them that I am a male servent aka house b|t&h and that I can no longer drive truck due to being diabetic. I also tell people I am still a truck driver if I know I will never see them again.

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I guess it depends on the question for me. If someone I did not know or particularly care about were to say, "what do you do for a living" I'd be tempted to answer, "Live". I often had trouble with resumes and not having worked consecutive jobs, etc. so I wrote that I was working on independent or personal projects. Therapy has always been educational to me as well as a personal project and I always have other things I am studying or interested in, etc. I can add in and shift the conversation enough so it is on ground I feel more sure of.

I like a form of "I could tell you but then..." I have used "What I do is confidential and I do not discuses my personal business." I then go on to say something about the reason we are at the event or whatever relates to the occasion. I have never had anyone question my response. Some will walk away and others change the subject. So be it.

Oh, the joy of that question. I've only just gotten on disability, but before this, I was on some other kind of financial aid for about four years. People often assume that either I go to school, or work, which is a fair assumption, I suppose. Most people do, but the fact that people use that as an opening line is very uncomfortable, when you are in fact, doing neither. When I say no to both these things, people usually say "well, that must be nice" somewhat awkwardly.

It was nice when I was retaking a subject from school, which I did twice (different subjects, though) and I could just say that. Then at least I had something to say.

Say your mentally ill, and if you don't want to talk to me THEN DO ONE.

LOVE IT!!

I tell them I'm a doctor.