If on disability, what do you say when asked "so what do you do for a living?".

I think this was a wonderful idea for a thread!

I also think that we need to be honest.
Being disabled is not what I do for a living.
I like the answer, "I am on sabbatical."

There is no shame in having a disability, we could better educate the public by intellectual and moral conversation.
This can only be done in a proper environment, not social parties.
If you wish to share or not and with whom, is your personal choice.

But do not be baited by judgemental people, when people ask, " what you do all day ".
This is a big trigger for people/ like me.

I hope this dialog continues,
Happiedasiy

Fear comes from ignorance/not understanding.
I find when on the phone I explain to people that I have disabilities, can you please slow down so I won't have to ask you to repeat, they abide and everything is goes smoothly.

I hate that question! Another pet peeve is that in the past few years it has become common place for people to ask questions about income and now with ObamCcare signups in the news everyone wants to know what insurance I have.

When my significant other answers that she is on disability, people have the nerve to ask what her disability is...

I sell crafts part-time so I just tell everyone I'm a craftsperson, then I can use it as an opening to sell stuff.

Maybe you should just sigh and say you don't want to talk about work. If they turn out to be someone you want to be friends with, you could tell them later without having to explain a lie.

Agreed. I guess I misconstrued your response.

You can say you are in sales.
Crafts are a million dollar industry. I hope you can do some marketing research and find connections that grow. Make professional cards for contacts!

How rude, what kind of insurance you have is a personal information, and I would ignore that question and change the subject.
H.

She doesn't answer for me, she is disabled as well. She has disability already and I am waiting for an appeal decision.

Stay at home moms have been fielding this one Forever. I love it when someone will chime in, "How can you stand to stay home? What do you DO all day?" (I love this one) Lemme see...
As others have said, it may be just a polite conversation starter of sorts. If it feels too nosy,it probably is so be creative. I seriously doubt anyone really wants to know what keeps a busy mom or dad busy all day.

As to the disability question, it is private business if you ask me. If I don't want to discuss anything about myself, I don't. Just because someone has poor to no manners with regards to asking personal questions, doesn't give them the right to an answer.

I love the creative answers others here have put forth. There are a million ways to answer unwanted questions. Pick one! My personal favorite: I Herd Cats. Yes! It does pay Really Well!
Ann Landers had two that I have used when necessary that I also love & are so simple & beautiful. They require being adept enough to change the subject but they are, as I said, favorites.

They are: "Why do you want to know?" & "I can't believe you asked that!"

You could say you are a convicted felon looking for work? No I guess not.

I actually feel for you. I'm in the same boat. I just don't really answer or say I'm studying. Right now I am in school but when I wasn't I would say studying anyway because it was true and I would just then switch the topic to the book I was reading. This tended to push away the topic to other more interesting and safe things.

I'm a Vocational Counselor and deal with this situation all the time. My advise is to always tell the truth, saying, I used to work as ___, but I'm no longer able to do that. I've had some heath issues and hope to be able to return to my career (or a new career) when I am physically able to. Currently, I am attending classes at a community college to get a certificate of completion/AA degree/BA degree in ___20__ that be appropriate for my disability. (BTW: Employers get up to 1/3 of your income as a tax write off for hiring you with any type of disability ~ mental or physical).

As for convicted felons, there are many resources available for you to obtain a job. Check with your local state funded job resources. I've had many convicted felons obtain jobs based on their "turn around" while they were incarcerated.

Early retirement is a general answer that one doesn't have to further explain.

People identify with their jobs here. They usually ask about your job before they ask your name. If you are on disability and say so they ask why and then they tell you you look healthy. Then they ask you what you do all day and struggling with chores doesn't fill a day in their opinion so they keep asking and asking. They have their set of answers and if you don't live up to them they will make your life very hard.

Sometimes I just want to smack them.

That is exactly how I feel and why I had to ask the question jimi!

Hi,

This is a good thread. I had a really bad experience with this when a friend told her husband I was on SSDI. He was so rude to me! He told me I was living off the goverment/lazy/contributing to the economic recession etc. I was so horrified that I now am very careful about who I tell. I ran into a former co-worker who asked me where I was working, I just laughed and said "Girl please, I got married." I thought it was pretty funny. Sometimes I say I help at the women's dept of corrections with addiction recovery and life skills because I go to AA there once a week. We could all also say that we're free-lance writers because hey we write on this forum lol. On my linked in account I just wrote Think Tanks for my current employer. I do think it's best to get a feel for people before mentioning disability and just assume that they will tell other people.

My husband is from Ireland, and it's true there that people don't give a flip where you work. He says that in USA ppl go to work and talk all day about what they will do on the weekend then they go out on the weekend and talk all night about their work. Very true.

TnT

I just say, "I'm on disability,but I won't discuss why".

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I tell people I have chronic headaches. I never tell them I have a mood disorder. That's certain trouble. Just telling people I am on disability is hard for people to swallow, for sure.

As to that guy being rude about you being on SSDI, he obviously doesn't realize that when you were emplyed, you paid for that assistance should anything happen. And whether anyone has or hasn't worked, disability is not easy to come by. Many people do not realize that.

I know two people who just casually mentioned that something not permanent, nor disabling was bothering them and they didn't want to work, so they were JUST going on disability.

I tried to explain it was not an easy process. They do not understand why they couldn't get it.

These uneducated people who pass judgement make me angry. If you say you're disabled, which I do, I normally will not explain further. I think that asking why is none of their business and rude!

I wonder why we feel obligated to give a response to any question asked by anyone? Why do we feel guilty and make up an answer to satisfy the other person's curiosity? Why can't we say, "I don't know you well enough to respond to your question"?

It probably isn't illegal because there is (or should be) a confidentiality agreement. In fact I don't think it is illegal anywhere. Rude and intrusive? Most likely depending on the context.

So... I think there is a difference between asking what you do for work and why you are on disability. The work question is easier to answer and there have been many great suggestions. The "why" question is generally considered rude and intrusive. I am not, but if I were on disability I would answer the work question with something else and move the topic on. "Disability" isn't work anyway. How you deal with it might be. I think I would not disclose that I was on disability until I have gotten to know and trust them. Even then there is a risk they may not take the information the way you hope. In fact if you tell them you are on disability when they ask about work they may take it as an invitation to ask more about it.

Side note...Recently I have noticed a lot of people bringing up mental health conditions or treatments like dbt in social conversations. So it becomes pretty clear that I know more than the average person about mental health care. But nobody asks why I know so much and I don't tell them.

Same here. They don't ask, I don't volunteer. Could be they don't want to know?

There have been some great suggestions since I started this thread. I'm new here and am amazed at the feedback I am getting. Thanks to everyone who is posting.

Dear Blueskyz,

I wanted to thank You for this thread!!
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So the take away imo is

Disability is not what you do for a living.

One poster remarked that most people have paid into ss and is not a hand out.

Non disclosure, just because someone may ask, You need not reply.

Be Honest with yourself, please do not allow others judgements into your head.
The fact that you are aware and acknowledge you have difficulties that you are working on, is a much better place than those in denial.

Every person has some level of difficulties in life. but they hide from them.

Only you have the power to define who you are or what you do all day.
I know amazing people who spend most of their day working on themselves.

,
Happiedasiy

It is standard ice-breaking conversation to ask what one person does for an occupation in the U.S. Good or bad, it is social norm.

I tell them I am an attorney but no longer practice law anymore. I try to keep it at that ... but curious folks want to know more. It is awkward for me.

I'd probably just say I am on SSI...that is when I get on it I have an appeal hearing coming up and hopefully I get on it otherwise it will be very bad. Anyways I see no reason why I should be ashamed of it. If someone then tries to put me down for it or something it would probably bother me but then I could be rude right back and walk away.

Also I wouldn't really know what else to say.

I simply say I am on disability, if they ask, I say that is private.