[blueskyz]

Where do you work? or What do you do? This is one of the first questions people have when they meet you. I'm on disability and I feel bad that I am not working anymore. Any suggestions on how I can answer them? I don't have kids at home.

[unaluna]

I tell them, "i used to be" one of my two main former jobs, depending on who im talking to, or any of my other jobs. I dont have kids either. I also might say, "i do absolutely nothing, and yet it takes me all day!...?" Its aekward, but you can always ask them what they do in return.

[Miss Laura]

I struggle with this too. I still tell people I work even though I haven't for nearly 3 years. I should say I don't work at yhe moment but I'm ashamed

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[possum220]

Why do you need to justify yourself? I have heard that in Europe asking people what they do for a job is considered to be very impolite. You could always say that you are independently wealthy and don't need a job. The other thing is to get in first with that question and then follow up with more questions. Some people do really like to talk about themselves.

Another question you could ask people is "What do you fill your week in with? Or if you are at some social gathering find a plate of food and offer it around. Kind gets you out of that sticky situation.

[healingme4me]

Possum, thank you, for saying, it's impolite, in Europe. .thank you

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[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by blueskyz

Where do you work? or What do you do? This is one of the first questions people have when they meet you. I'm on disability and I feel bad that I am not working anymore. Any suggestions on how I can answer them? I don't have kids at home.

Maybe, a snarky,, well that's a bit personal, don't you think.

This goes even beyond, whether you are homebound disabled, or doing menial labor jobs to get by or if you have a high paying corporate job.

Is the merit of the person, truly dependent on where the income is from?

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[too SHy]

It is none of their business! Make up a plausible story and leave it at that. or tell them you are the personal secretary to the Pope.LOL

Try not to squirm and act embarrassed. You will end up feeling bad. Dont worry about them, think of yourself. Practice saying you are on disability with confidence. By all means mention your past occupation or study if you wish. I agree with the others, turn the conversation around, get them talking about themselves. Try to be genuinely interested. They will remember you positively.

It is rude in other parts of the world but it is not considered rude in the us. They don't mean harm either. They are just trying to break the ice. The problem is there are a lot of disability haters so it is probably best to feel them out before you tell them.

How about...
I am on sabbatical from career as a "". What do you do for fun?

That should remove the subject altogether.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

Just say I'm not working now and change the subject. Most people get that why you aren't working is your business and there are just reasons go be out of work.

[shezbut]

I have struggled with this question as well.

I currently work a part-time job and I am disabled, so it's a lot for me. However, my co-workers are much younger (mean age is 19). They cannot relate to me. I do have children....so when they ask me what else I do for work, I reply that I'm a mom. (They usually look at me strangely at this response) I quickly add that it's a full-time job in itself.

I did try to explain my disability a couple of times to those that asked, but they didn't seem to grasp traumatic brain injury & that was the end of the conversation. I now try to avoid talking about my disability in most conversations ~ they just don't seem get it.

[1776]

I just tell people I don't talk about my work. I tell them it's nothing personal against them, but I just don't discuss it.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by possum220

Why do you need to justify yourself? I have heard that in Europe asking people what they do for a job is considered to be very impolite. You could always say that you are independently wealthy and don't need a job. The other thing is to get in first with that question and then follow up with more questions. Some people do really like to talk about themselves.

Another question you could ask people is "What do you fill your week in with? Or if you are at some social gathering find a plate of food and offer it around. Kind gets you out of that sticky situation.

it's really not. Or maybe almost everybody I met was a total jerk.

To OP... either say what you did before, or start ranting about bad economy. that often works. Or say "this and that, don't have stable job".

[reesecups]

I've had this issue for years. I have been asked this constantly. I am a bad liar, so I do usually say I'm on disability. Only 1-2 people have been rude enough to ask what problem has made me disabled, which I usually respond that I really do not want to talk about it.

One girl in my group made me laugh. She says when she's asked, she always tells them that she works for X Hospital's PHP. If they asked what she did, she says she's in counseling. LOL. She DOES work hard on herself in groups. Just bending the truth a little! LOL

[lizardlady]

I don't know about the rest of the world, but in the States asking someone what they do is a way of opening conversation. As someone else said, it's an icebreaker. I don't think people ask to be nosy or offensive. They are just trying to start a conversation. I can see that answering the question might be awkward though if you don't work. I like the idea of giving a non-comittal kind of answer then getting the person to talk about themself.

[1776]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I don't know about the rest of the world, but in the States asking someone what they do is a way of opening conversation. As someone else said, it's an icebreaker. I don't think people ask to be nosy or offensive. They are just trying to start a conversation. I can see that answering the question might be awkward though if you don't work. I like the idea of giving a non-comittal kind of answer then getting the person to talk about themself.

Well, I'm in the US and I think it's rude and intrusive. Just my humble opinion.

[reesecups]

When I worked, I considered that a conversation tool. Letting people open up about their work and asking them questions. I accept that as part of life. I just feel that if they know you're on disability, it is extremely rude to ask why or about someone's personal medical/psych issues.

[1776]

Originally Posted by reesecups

When I worked, I considered that a conversation tool. Letting people open up about their work and asking them questions. I accept that as part of life. I just feel that if they know you're on disability, it is extremely rude to ask why or about someone's personal medical/psych issues.

The guy that does my taxes always asks me. He's one day older than dirt, so I expect him to be nosy. I never tell him. It's none of his business, and isn't that against the law?

I agree that it's usually just something to ask conversationally. I don't think it needs a particularly specific answer. Self employed... between jobs...whatever you used to do. Very few people will actually pry if you give a vague answer and as someone said... you can turn the conversation. You could say "none of your business" but that really does seem rude.

[reesecups]

Actually, if you're disabled, it might be a legitimate question for tax purposes. But I'm not sure how much detail he needs to know. Is there anyone that knows enough to answer this question for 1776?

[1776]

Originally Posted by reesecups

Actually, if you're disabled, it might be a legitimate question for tax purposes. But I'm not sure how much detail he needs to know. Is there anyone that knows enough to answer this question for 1776?

No, he does not need to know what my specific disability is for taxes. He only needs to know that I'm disabled.

[nanrob]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I don't know about the rest of the world, but in the States asking someone what they do is a way of opening conversation. As someone else said, it's an icebreaker. I don't think people ask to be nosy or offensive. They are just trying to start a conversation. I can see that answering the question might be awkward though if you don't work. I like the idea of giving a non-comittal kind of answer then getting the person to talk about themself.

I agree. We make suppositions based on what type of work a person does. Our work can define our interests and our education level. In response to what to say, honesty is the best policy. I'd say what type of work I used to do and say I haven't been able to do that since I ____. If you are disabled due to a "mental illness", say a brain disorder. That will stop people in their tracks! Then, if they get nosey, you can say you'd rather not talk about it. You can always add that you hope to be able to return to work once you are better. We don't need to disclose any personal information to someone just because they ask.

[Rand.]

I sometimes will answer with a silly reply, like was alluded to before. Like "I study herring communication", or something like that. It usually gets a little laugh, especially if I go into details about how they communicate and usually people let me just leave it with that. It's really a win-win. It allows for a non-awkward conversation, maybe funny and a little silly, breaks the ice, and you don't have to lie (usually they know you aren't serious) or reveal anything you don't want to.

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by reesecups

Actually, if you're disabled, it might be a legitimate question for tax purposes. But I'm not sure how much detail he needs to know. Is there anyone that knows enough to answer this question for 1776?

US tax forms ask for a person's type of employment. It would make sense for a tax preparer to ask the question. They need to know to complete the form.

for a slightly different perspective.... I live in the country. For country folks it's rude to ask how much property you have, amount of property gives an indication of income/net worth. It's kind of like asking how much someone earns. City folks don't know that it's considered rude. For most they are just curious how much room I have where I live. I could be insulted by the question, but chose to view it as an innocent question.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by blueskyz

Where do you work? or What do you do? This is one of the first questions people have when they meet you. I'm on disability and I feel bad that I am not working anymore. Any suggestions on how I can answer them? I don't have kids at home.

If it was me, I'd just say...

I am on sabbatical.
I work out of my home part time.
I'm semi-retired.
I run a complicated online business.
I'm on a leave from work.
I do online research.
I play the stock market.
I'm on a short-term disability from work right now.