[Rand.]

I sorta asked this some time ago but... I feel weird about this. I'm not too excited about telling my nurse (who tells pDoc) about this, and it's in the past anyways...

backstory:
When I was a kid, at least 6 years old, I started realizing there were cameras everywhere. I'd check my walls and stuffed animals for them and at first I thought "No, what am I doing? There can't be cameras there... but still...." after time though, that went away and I just believed that there were cameras. I also knew that there were to people outside my window who'd watch me at night. Often when I was laying down my body would feel like it was expanding and turning into fat. I would check and my body would be normal but it scared me. Later, in my early teens or preteens or so I realized it was because they wanted to recruit me for my powers. I was always on guard about what I said and how I acted, even if I was "alone" because I didn't want to do anything to mess up my chances of getting in. I was like the chosen one. Later this turned into a more religious overtone. I'd get upset at people for not realizing how much power I had and that the demons were trying to get me. I could feel them and they haunted my dreams. There was a bunch of other things, but those were the main points.

About 2 years ago, maybe 3, all this started to just... go away. Now I have got anhedonia for just about everything, just want to be alone all the time, I stress out very easily, just can't seem to do much of anything, and mostly just flat and unemotional.
Thing is, I haven't told any of what happened to my nurse (or pDoc) because I have experienced very little of these er, types of symptoms for quite a while (whatever it is), and when I do they don't last long. And now I'm wondering if I really should tell them... but how would I even do that? "Oh yeah, I know it's been a year now, but uhh I used to see cameras,"? or is it even relevant anymore?

[Yoda]

It seems to concern you despite the less frequent experiences. I would say, yes, tell your pdoc.

[Perna]

I don't know if it is something that would help them to know or not. I think I would print out this post and give it to my pDoc directly next time I see him and tell him it is not a problem for you at the moment but may help him understand you better and where you are "coming from" now?

[Rand.]

Thank you Yoda and Perna for the replies. I suppose it'd be best just to give this to them and see what they think. It might help them a bit I don't know. Maybe it will mean nothing. I suppose I'll just have to find out like it or not

[(JD)]

Why not? Let them decide if it's important or not. I was wondering though, how long have you been on medication--could you have tried a medicine about 2-3 years ago that facilitated the healing?

[Rand.]

Originally Posted by (JD)

Why not? Let them decide if it's important or not.

You're right - you make a good point on that

Originally Posted by (JD)

I was wondering though, how long have you been on medication--could you have tried a medicine about 2-3 years ago that facilitated the healing?

I've been on medications for a year this month, although, it's still a game of Roulette to finding something that will work for me. It seemed random 2-3 years ago. Just suddenly something snapped. I started to lose emotion and stopped caring about things. It became a major struggle to stay in any of my usual activities which were minimal already. I guess I started to become a bit zombie-like so to speak. It just didn't matter if I was being followed or if I meant anything in this world so even if I was being watched it didn't matter anymore because of how apathetic I became. Since then it's been a bit fluctuating, every so often it kinda pops up again for anything between a few hours and a couple days, maybe couple weeks. So not sure if I'm healed or not of that particular thing, I guess which is part of my concern... didn't even realize that until now.

[Catmom3]

I'd say it would be useful to them in the sense that it would give them an understanding of what your mental/emotional reality tunnel was like during your growing up years. They can see how far you have come from there and if there are still roots of current issues found in the past mindset.