I can no longer tell the difference between fantasy and reality (help please)

Hello everyone. I truly apologize for my first post being a request from you all. But maybe you have experience with this and can offer some advice or reassurance?

I've recently been losing my memory. It's gotten severe over the past months, to the point I forget what I'm doing in the middle of doing it. Sometimes I forget my name. It's so incredibly frustrating.

Just recently, I've been confusing fantasy with reality. Like, if I watch a tv show, I will forget that it isn't real and reference it when I speak. Then the person I'm speaking to is totally confused, and then I realize "oh wait, that was on tv, it didn't happen". I've begun avoiding television, books, radio, anything that can confuse me. Sometimes I wake up and think a bad dream I had was real, and I have to ask someone in the house if such-and-such really happened or I only imagined it.

Many of my biological aunts, uncles and cousins have either bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or both. I don't know if this is related to me at all, but I've always been terrified of ending up like them... some are like zombies now who don't even recognize me anymore.

Before anyone suggest seeing a psych, I can't afford that at all. I can barely afford household expenses. The public healthcare system here in my state (usa) only offers a free psych if you agree to be medicated, which I don't want. I tried it in the past, but the doctor only spoke to me for 5 minutes and then prescribed anti-depressants, he didn't even want to hear my medical history, test me for anything or ask me what was wrong with me. He was no help whatsoever. Which is why I am asking here.

I thank you very much for any advice you can give to me. My biggest fear is to lose my mind, and I value my intelligence very much.

you really do need to see a doctor. I would start with a physical doctor and rule out anything medical that could be causing this before you potentially end up in a psych ward in the long run if you do nothing.

It's possible that this could be stress-related. If you can't afford to see a doctor, then I think the first thing I would do is to try to find a why to lower your stress level. (Believe me, I understand what it's like to not be able to afford medical treatment, you just have to wait until something catastrophic happens and then deal with it then.)

If you can, work a few less hours, take more walks and enjoy life more.

A quick question, when you have those times when you forget things, do you go through a personality change as well? Like, do people say you start acting different and you have no recollection of it? I do, but I don't have schizophrenia so it might be something altogether different.

I have a doctor's (gp) appointment next week, but as I said, I can't afford a psych or counselor.

I do enjoy life and I don't feel stressed (but I guess I could be without realizing it). I love taking walks and do it almost every morning.

When I forget things I'm still me, I just can't remember anything at all. I'm starting to forget words as well. I can't recall simple words and even when I do, sometimes I forget what I'm talking about or who I am talking to, or can't concentrate on what I'm saying or doing.

To start, I would suggest seeing if your doctor will send you to a neurologist. You want to make sure there's nothing physically wrong.

Try to find a nice doctor. Hope you feel better soon!!

I hear your frustration with public health.

I'm in South Africa and its the same over here, I'm not interested on going back to meds, but the pdoc I'm meeting on Wednesday doesn't need to know that. I will make him think I'm taking his pills for as long and I get to go to therapy, because dammit I need it and deserve it and if I have to pretend to be medicated to get it, then so be it!

I suggest being very honest with your gp and getting in to see a neurologist. Once they rule out any physical problems they can then direct you to the right path.

I'm really sorry, sounds like a rough experience

Frankly, I feel frustrated when someone says s/he is having a truly difficult time with psychiatric issues, but refuses to consider taking medication. In my opinion, you need to reach out, connect with a psychiatrist, and consider that you just might need medication, at least for a time.

Thank you. When I went to the ER (I fainted), the triage doctor also suggested I see a neurologist, but I'll have to wait for permission from my GP.

Thank you, it is irritating. Not just with psychiatric facilities, it's general practitioners as well. This whole obamacare thing has also backed up people transitioning, so the offices and ERs are constantly full.

I get the feeling (based on my family's experience) they simply medicate people to keep them quiet and fulfill HMO protocols. I refuse to be passed around like a puppet, I want to know what is wrong with me. It's disgusting that you have to pay out the nose for someone to give you any real attention or concern.

I get this reaction a lot, but I am in a field of study that gives me knowledge about synthetic chemicals and their effects on the body. I can say for certain I have no desire to put psychiatric medications into my body at all. I won't even consider it until all other options have been exhausted.

What made me furious was the psychiatrist's lack of concern to even asses my situation. He literally looked at me, read my questionnaire and prescribed me medication. He didn't test me for any psychiatric problems, didn't suggest I see a specialist, didn't assign me a counselor, didn't ask me how I felt or what my concerns were, nothing.

He even interrupted me when I tried to explain, and he isn't the first public healthcare worker to do this to me. They all act this detached. The public healthcare system here shuffles people in and out by the hundreds everyday. They each get less than 10 minutes with their doctors once per month.

And frankly I find it frustrating that strangers think they know what's best for other strangers without even asking for any background details.

I kindly suggest you try ASKING why someone isn't interested in meds before deciding that they definitly should be.

I clicked on this post because this is happening to me also and it scares the **** out of me. I feel like I am missing my entire life! I was still waiting for Christmas to come, and its been over for weeks! The other day I accidentally told my husband, "Aaron was over there, you know how everyone loves his jokes". Aaron is my deceased brother, now why would that come out of my mouth? For me, I believe my substance abuse problems are totally to blame. I hope you can find out something my friend, and just keep hanging on. Remember the Uncle on "Its a wonderful Life!", who had strings attatched to his fingers so he could remember things? It seems he had something like what you are describing, although it never mentioned what it was except that he was "Absent-minded". Update us with what you find out and good luck.

I have chronic depersonalization with bouts of derealization and when I enter into the world of derealization I have memory lapses and my external world is absolutely taken apart, as if I am in a TV show. I don't know what other symptoms you have but you could look up the Wikipedia article on "depersonalization/derealization" and see if it pertains to you...

Good luck & I agree that meds aren't the answer when you see some family physician for five minutes who gives you the little depression handout & a script for Zoloft...

Thanks. I had a similar situation where I fell into a daydream and referred to daydream person in reall convo! You can guess the reaction of my company. I was so embarassed! And totally confused as to why I couldn't remember that it was a daydream. Then I was confused why I was daydreaming, because I normally never do that. I have a dull imagination lol.

Btw, your sig pic is adorable. I love rats

Many of the symptoms I read were similar to mine, but not all. I am wary of self-diagnoses, though.

The fact that all this is escalating so rapidly is what scares me. I was fine three months ago, now all of the sudden I get lost in my own house, can't remember my name, think fiction is reality, shaking and dizzy, ect. I'm a pretty dull person... i don't take pills, weed, alcohol and haven't had any head injuries at all.

The Er said I was physically fine, they even did a CT scan. I'm completely lost and the anticipation for my doc appointment is driving me batty.

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I get this reaction a lot, but I am in a field of study that gives me knowledge about synthetic chemicals and their effects on the body. I can say for certain I have no desire to put psychiatric medications into my body at all. I won't even consider it until all other options have been exhausted.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Forgetfulness in the midst of doing regular activities can be scary.

You mentioned you work with synthetic chemicals and it frightens you to take them. I understand. My son ingested a large amount of a synthetic drug. 25i or smiles. Have you (this is a long shot because I hv no idea the field you are in) heard of this or hv any idea where I can learn more? Yes, I've googled and results are slim, because it's new. You can pm me or respond here.
Thx. Good luck with your memory. Stay calm and optimistic.

I have schizophrenia and as far as I'm aware, there's not much you can do besides medicate it... I think there was a study that showed that things like CBT and DBT don't work... So if it turns out to be that (though it could be many things, like a physical problem, bipolar, maybe even a personality disorder like schizotypal, who knows?) then I'm afraid you're probably SOL. Especially if the problem is disorganization. Hallucinations you can learn to work around, delusions can be resistant to meds and require other treatment, but disorganization? No idea how else to treat that.

Please keep us updated, I hope you find a solution.

As someone else mentioned about being frustrated with people who resist medication. Im confused as to why most people think medication is some solid form of treatment, when it isn't. In fact it can make you worse, it really depends . I've had zero luck with meds, they either do nothing or make me worse....