Updated Guidelines

Hey. I think that even if people are printing out your posts or saving them to their computer the most likely explanation for that is that they find your posts HELPFUL.

I think the majority of people in the world are good understanding people. I don't think many people go around intentionally hurting others (and those who do are probably those who need the most help).

I'm pretty sure that it would be unlikely that your posts would ever be used against you in such a way. But still... I do think it is wise to be a bit careful...

BTW with every welcome I send to each new member, a link to the Guidelines is included.

For those of us here on PC and any other mental health sight I would imagine, it's not necessarily just our real identities. It's the pouring out of souls and sometimes, it's the firs time some of us have been able to talk about some of our deepest, darkest secrets! And then to have someone blanantly tell us they are moving our pain, our soul to some other place, to me that us a gross lack of respect and care for the other person. It can serve as yet another trauma!

I know how it feels! I've had a family member join this site under an assumed name and use my words against me. I spoke nothing but the truth, but in the hands of this person, those words became vile and poisonous! The repercussions are still being felt!

Thanks to Doc John, that member has been banned and so has their IP. Thanks to Doc John it is now against the guidelines for others to STEAL our postings and use them for their own gain!

Yes it is the world wide web ( www ) but it isn't an excuse to not respect the other person online. I think that everything that is written on this site should stay on this site. Respect and respect.

Thank you for updating the guidelines.

I understand how it can *feel* like people are 'stealing' when they repost things elsewhere...

But I think it is also important to think that *mostly* when people do that it is because your post has moved them in some way.

But that being said, when people are asked not to do that because of how people feel about it then everyone knows where they stand.

You're right, but in this case, it struck terror in the hearts of many "little ones."

Just to add to alexandra's thought regarding everyone agreeing to the guidelines before using the site...

They do. When joining the site, the member agrees to the guidelines and maintaining them.

KD

thank you so much _Sky...

This must be a new development! When did that start? I don't remember having to sign or check a box stating that I agreed to them.

I think also what was in play here. imo, is that, though members might copy something for their own use... into a PM to themselves or to remember something good...or even to link it in a PM to another member here so they can find it and be helped too... they don't publicize the fact that they did it... it's a quiet event.

It's not only the fact that it was blatantly bragged about, but that no understanding of how doing so upset other members here is what added to the upset, imo. It may also have triggered some into remembering another event earlier this year, and fearing the same outcome.

Yep, Sept. For instance, you could sign out right now and click to register a new account but don't go so far as to completely register. From there, enter your birth date and it takes you to another screen which discusses the TOU and lists the guidlines. At that point you have to agree to go further.

KD

alexandra, it cant be simpler, if it aint yours dont copy, save, print, email or transfer it to anyother site,

alot of people on this site are members of other sites i am currently in 3, and if i saw a post in another site that i know was posted here originally i would report it and get the person banned or sanctioned from this site and knowing me i would name and shame the person on this site via a post in general so that everyone would know who it is.

Sorry...

I'm pretty sure I remember having to agree when I joined so it's been going on for quite a while, if not from the beginning.

Good question! Thank you!

KD

You're so very right, Sky!

If I'm not out of line asking this now... what are the current responses by admin for a member stepping on the guidelines? I know it used to be two warnings and then a discussion and suspension where you had to stay away for a period of time. I think more recently it became that you could PM while on suspension, but not chat nor post.

Is this appropriate to discuss here, or are they flexible and determined by admin as deemed necessary?

I've been here for a little over three yrs so don't ask me to go back that far. LOL It's good to know that it's in place.

I guess if people don't read and yet agree, you can tell shortly after they start posting.

> You're right, but in this case, it struck terror in the hearts of many "little ones."

Yeah. As I said, sometimes people feel really afraid that people are attempting to mock them or pick fun or are being disrespectful or malevolent. That is an understandable response in light of past hurts.

But present situations are (most often) different in the sense that the majority of people in the world aren't *intending* to mock or pick fun or be disrespectful or malevolent.

That doesn't do anything to undo the past hurts...
It can be really hard to seperate our the past from the present and to understand when the *intensity* of the response is due to the past or the present...

interesting and very good post.....

Yep, sept, sometimes you can. Thanks for bringing that up...that all might not remembering doing this when they join.

Sky, we try to use all measures that we can, depending on the situation, to avoid suspensions, and certainly bans. Any suspension/ban that occurs has been discussed by as many of the mod/admin team as is available before acted on.

Also, this community is open to the public. In that, any suspended member can come here and read just as an anonymous person can. However, they can't chat, post or PM.

I hope that helps.

KD

> I too follow these same on line safety rules of only posting what I am comfortable having the whole world know...

And that is an approach that some people have to the internet.
But other people don't have that approach to the internet.
Why?
Because some people are afraid of other people.
Over time they come to trust the people at psychcentral and so they share intimate thoughts, feelings, concerns etc with people from psychcentral where they are NOT willing for the whole world to know.
If people changed their policy into a policy of not posting anything they weren't comfortable having the whole world knowing then they would be alone with those intimate thoughts, feelings, concerns etc.
Part of the value of sites such as this is that people can post those intimate thoughts, feelings, concerns etc in a *relatively* safe environment.
It isn't (it can't be) *perfectly* safe
But that is how a lot of people use sites like this.
To share the things that they can't share with anyone IRL.
Thus to those people...
When people repost their posts outside psychcentral they feel like their trust in people from psychcentral has been betrayed.
Kind of like how in IRL you could tell something to your friend under the understanding that they wouldn't tell anyone else and then your friend goes and tells other people.
I think that there are a fair few people who think that reposting psychcentral posts outside psychcentral is kind of betraying trust like that.

I guess that there are two (at least) different conceptions of psychcentral.

When those conceptions aren't explicit then someone who wouldn't post anything they aren't comfortable having the whole world know can't understand why people are upset about posts being duplicated off the boards. The person isn't being a hypocrite or anything because they would be accepting if other people posted their posts off psychcentral.

So no malevolent intent...

But I think it is important to know that some people do indeed see psychcentral as a place where they can post their 'secrets' to their friends.

It isn't that one conception is right and another conception is wrong... It is about understanding that different people are coming from different places... And that is required *before* people can respect those differences...

Yes, thought 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink' aka you can post a link to the guidelines (or get them to tick a little box at the end of the guidelines) but that doesn't mean that the person actually read or understood the guidelines.

I think another point to what you said here, is that to many with DID, PC is their whole world! They don't consider the outside of PC, at all perhaps?
<font color="blue">
I think it does boil done to respect though. What is it to me to refrain from posting something if it upsets someone else? Will my world fall apart because I need to be considerate of others? If I can change how I post and that allows even one other member feel safer, wouldn't that be a good thing for me to do?
If I were to forge full steam ahead anyway, that would be me saying that what I think is more important than what you feel. I would never personally want that to happen.
<font color="green">
With the idea of guidelines, to me that's what they are guidelines. They surely can't make someone behave, can they? But they do give a sense of order and safety in knowing what can be expected. They also give those of us who wish to comply, and those who's responsibility to maintain order (admin and moderators) a guide with which to view behavior. It keeps the rule from becoming arbitrary and unfair, imo. But guidelines to me also give some freedom, because they can be adjusted if the majority or even just the admin decide some flexibility is necessary in a certain case.
<font color="purple">
Some members who come here are more "disodered" than others, and thus need more time, more nudging, more attention, more understanding etc. Some never do fit in. Some leave on their own. I'm glad there's the flexibility to allow for those who need to learn how to fit in (yet still need PC) time to do so. Don't you think?

I guess someone might post something somewhere else really not knowing that other people would feel upset in response.

If they have no idea that other people are going to feel upset in response then they can't take their upset into account when deciding what to do...

I guess people who have been following this thread (and probably others) now know that there are people who would indeed be upset if their posts were posted somewhere else.

Maybe they have learned something with that.

I agree that with respect to this issue one should not post other peoples posts somewhere else without their permission. A major reason for this is that DocJohn has made that one of the rules of this site.

I also think that as a general rule... Sometimes peoples needs conflict. When needs conflict it is hard to know what to do. I'm not sure the best strategy is to always put aside your needs for the sake of others. But that is just thinking on it as a general rule.

In this instance the guidelines now clearly state the rule so... That is the way it is.

Or perhaps more to the point if one chooses to post other peoples posts without their permission a consequence is that they will be blocked from posting at this site.

Hopefully that will act as a deterrant...

Because I guess the main aim of this site is to provide a relatively safe environment for people to disclose things that are hard and receive some support...

Thank you Doc!!!!!