existential intolerance

i'm dead, and i'm burning in hell. what really makes me so extremely angry is that people are so brainwashed by psychiatry and the mental system that NOBODY understand what "i'm dead, and i'm burning in hell" means. their lack of understanding is attributed to some "mental illness", rather than their own ignorance.

E X I S T E N T I A L I N T O L E R A N C E

is an extremely brutally severe condition.

So sorry you feel like that. Can’t say I know what you mean exactly because I'm not sure I do. I’ve certainly felt like I’m in hell from time to (eternal, seems like) time, but as long as I’m physically alive it’s not really “eternal” yet, and so my reason tells me (perhaps erroneously but I can't be 100% sure) that there’s a chance that something could change, because that’s the way things are in the physical universe.

So, my tolerance for existence is increasing somewhat. Still horribly brutal sometimes, though.

eternity is all there is. it's here and now, every yesterday and every tomorrow. i'm eternal, i've always existed. no matter how many times i've been born, and died, i always exist. no matter how many other forms i have existed in (i don't always have a human body), eternity is all there is.

i can walk and talk, but i'm dead. and burning in furious hell, for all of ever. from eternity to eternity, all i have to look forward to is hell fire. and i'm severely and extremely pissed off about it. as i would be. because it's hell fire.

i was told to go to hell. it was a long road, but here i am. burning in hell fire.

OK, I do kind of know that feeling, or a similar one. I “knew” when I went to a teen-age church retreat and they talked about going down the road to hell that I was on that path. Didn’t do bad stuff to others, exactly, was starving myself (eating disorder) at the time.

Got over the eating disorder but bad feelings remained. Had trouble off and on my whole life. Told a therapist several years ago that I had murdered my own soul. Turns out I probably was not murdered, just paralyzed almost out of existence.

Just came across a theory which helps (to me) understand these feelings and this “reality”. Still hoping, in this physical existence where there IS change, that my “eternal” self can transform a little, too.

I understand your anger about the situation, too. But if you research anger, there’s the notion (makes sense to me) that anger is a response to unmet expectations. So, your anger is alive and somewhere there is a hope/expectation/something that things can ("should") be better. That means that hope exists, too. And is eternal. Do you know the story of Pandora’s box? Your anger is alive. It’s painful but it’s a start.

i don't have anger. i have hell fire. i burn. i scream. it's hell fire. i'm furious.

yeah, i know pandora's box. hope's inside, at the bottom. i opened the box, then hope became the mother of my granddaughter. the baby died, though.

in a past life, people boarded up my house, with me in it, then they set it on fire. true story. really happened. in this lifetime, there was attempted murder. it involved fire. i survived it. but then i died after that. that's when i really started to burn, after i died. i've been burning (in hell fire) for a long time. all eternity. i woke up and i know who i am. who i truly am.

i am fury.

after fury, comes wrath. very deadly. i had wrath, got obliterated. but the fire still burns.

of course, i'd have to translate that into plain english for you to understand. some of it doesn't need to be translated, it is what it is at face value. but, it's true. i'm dead and burning in hell.

You are not alone. Among your friends are Camus, Sartre, DeBeauvoir...

1. i love the name, "sister rags". i love it.
2. i love charles manson! i really do. he's one of my teachers. he's got himself a place in Heaven (most people don't know about it, but i do).

3. i don't know who those three are. i feel stupid, are they people on this site?

1. Thank you! The name was given to me by someone very special.
2. I agree about Charles Manson. There are many, many sides to his story that most people don't research.
3. Google them -they were all Existentialist philosophers!

i'll definitely check them out.

something really interesting happened and i want to tell you about it. it's so wild! how can i PM you?

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