unrelenting stress to a person with mental health issues

not sure which forums this would go in as it isn't socially uplifting or fun, and could fit a number of disease/disorder forums but as it touches on a whole bunch of all general it is.

only so much can be taken before one cracks. the unrelenting stressors of everyday life for most is hard but for those of us with compromised coping skills or health issues including disease/disorder of the mental kind these stressors can literally take us under.

day by day, one step at a time, one moment at a time, focus on now not later or yesterday...just now......all these things are known but of little comfort when this cracked by ongoing situations.

anxiety in mornings was many week addition to usual sx of dxs. has returned. lack of therapy due to practical matters of finances and location hasn't helped in the feeling supported dept.

it is dangerous driving when all these thoughts can bubble up to the surface and the dissociation can start. dog is vigilant but recently so much is going on that even dog cannot keep up with this twitchiness of switchiness.

needed to ramble on out. didn't want to e-mail mass or PM many with copy thus this outpouring of inner__zh

thx for space. at least we know we'll survive, we'll get through. we'll continue to battle the denial and the challenges that we usually face in addition to these recent stressors----which will eventually end.

we can do this and we will. doesn't mean we have to be chipper about it or like the whole process. just keep plugging away and day by day it gets worked on. everyone has their burdens and woes. pain is pain. nobody's lot is worse or better. we all suffer and survive as best we can.

OH btw......when does channukah start? calendar on fridge doesn't have holidays and we're woefully behind in observation. can anyone help?? thx.

we're right with you on this zh, by the way
Happy Chanukah
starts Dec. 16th until the 23rd
Love ya
Angie

no one ever said that this mental health stuff is fair, fun or friendly. a couple of weeks ago i found myself wishing that i could just quit thinking about my HEAD!!

i know how you're feeling BUT you're almost there and then things will settle down for you. and Sheba is doing great and it helps a lot to just lie down and snuggle up with her and listen to her heart beat......very calming....

we're all right here or by the phone and offer up whatever you need. angie has the bread and i'll get the butter.

and maybe we'll figure out a trip to Texas after the first of the year.......

love, love, love to you and miss Sheba....my dogs would accomodate her just fine......it's Amsu, who's 19, that might swat her butt when she walks by. teddy jack still skirts the issue when passing through a narrow space or door......

I can see the pain and the understanding here. So touching. Keep hanging on. And yeah, the dogs, the animals, the children pull us forward.

Yes Hanukkah begins at sundown on the 15th.
Kwanzaa is Canada's Boxing day... the 26th.

Winter begins the 21st.
Christmas is the 25th.

Pearl Harbor remembrance day is the 7th. (My dog's 15th birthday)

(((((zh)))))

i just went to grocery store and am back at computer......it's very cold here and i covered my plants that are outside. i have most of them in.

the dogs are barking a lot...seems strange that people would be out and about, as cold as it is. maybe it's animals. i caught a teenage possum day before yesterday and took it back to the creek area. i didn't know that they were solid black. i thought all of them were grey.

just keep moving forward, even if it's an inch, or just sit and hug Sheba. if i could, i'd be on the next plane out of the Austin airport.........xoxoxxo p.s. miss ethel is in Creative.....

When flowing water...meets with obstacles on its path, a blockage in its journey, it pauses. It increases in volume and strength, filling up in front of the obstacle and eventually spilling past it...

Do not turn and run, for there is nowhere worthwhile for you to go. Do not attempt to push ahead into the danger...emulate the example of the water: Pause and build up your strength until the obstacle no longer represents a blockage.
from the I Ching

zen,
I know offering quotes for support can be trite, but I've found meaning in this, and I wanted to share it with you. Your writing about your process and struggles is always powerful. You have a tremendous capacity for strength. I hope you find times when you can pause and gather that strength from within and without.

take care,

gg

Hang in there! We are all here for you!!




Linda

thank goodness for timestamps and dates. thought this was couple days ago. nine to be exact. doesn't feel like nine days have passed.

some things are over with....the driving mainly. come wet season it would have been ugly.

a few battles coming up that have our stomach in knots. feeling like a total nitwit loser for having difficulty with the things that have been so difficult lately. for a person with PTSD these things are not easy. one of the values of this forum/site/community is that what may seem easy to us personally might be another's sticking block.

when we so automatically go into self flagellation mode it helps to read others not just rah rahing "you can do it" but the tales of others and their paperwork tigers and meeting bulls and phone call elephants.

what things we find challenge in might be easy to others but nobody here says "hey stupid...wise up and figure it out like the rest of us normies"

without the words of others here to read we'd be lost within the beating oneself up because nobody knows how to be meaner to ourselves than ourselves.

we're not falling into the "we should be happy" trap. there are many reasons to be but if we're not feeling it we're not feeling it. can't force it. and won't guilt self out over it.

grateful? yes. happy? no. glad to be alive? oh hells yes! that is not an answer we'd have given easily in past decade.

glad the meds are doing what they need to be doing. glad we're taking them as best we're able according to the schedule rx'd.

know that making some of those phone calls will help get the ball rolling with a number of things......but knowing and transforming that into the action of picking up the phone, dialing, and following through on these calls is a whole 'nuther matter.

apologies for inability to answer posts individually. today was very uncomfortable interspersed with restlessness and self doubt.

sometimes it can seem as if the stars lined up to make it rain on our parade. everybodys parade gets some rain. some end up wearing ponchos. feels like a long time since we had to break out the poncho....but maybe we've had it all along and are only now (re)gaining awareness?

hit that wall and haven't quite been the same since. imaginary wall but totally real psychological and physical injuries. whining to some. venting to others. complaining in the eyes of many....but necessary......oh so necessary right now.

our continued gratitude and sorrow that so many understand from their own experiences and share so freely and deeply with us.

guess sleeping meds only work if you take em, eh? if sleep goes off the entire delicate balance gets whacked and most of you know the rest from there....

oh yeah doesn't help that attending a wedding coming up is huge source of anxiety.....no reason for it......good ppl......very understanding and accepting of illness/disease/disorder.........yet putting on the whole costume expected (dress, fake-up, stockings, heels, that whole thing) sometimes fills us with panic. we know we'll have great time, that we'll look lovely and that this whole pre freak out wasn't necessary....try telling that to our brain and stomach and twitchy legs and arms and weepy eyes and and and..........

take the dang sleep meds rx'd and catch some precious zzzzzzzzzzs.

unrelenting stress brings it all back to basics at times........that time for us is now. barely hanging on to the knowledge that this is path we've been on before and survived.

dear, dear Zen.......i am so sorry that your stress level is five feet high and rising. (johnny cash song) we aren't the tallest people in the world, so it catches up with us pretty fast.

if i thought i had a wedding to go to about now, i'd be having the tantrum of the century. i don't even own any hose or heels. i'd have to tiptoe through the tulips during the entire ceremony....going to the local big grocery store can get me going like nothing else these days. i burned up a pan yesterday with tea bags in it and had a major melt down......stress does it to us. and half of the time i can't even identify the cause of the stress. i love that part!

i did decide to conquer one fear yesterday and i baked cookies and tromped over to my neighbor's house and gave them to him. he drinks and he scares me when he starts talking loud and waving his arms around. but we're going to be neighbors forever and i had to do something to keep some of my power. i can't give it all away. he was gracious and all giggly and showed me the room he was painting. so i wrote Pat-1, Fear-0 on the refrigerator board.

you're in a new space and i'm still in a fairly new space. we get do-overs. you aren't expected by the Goddesses or anyone else to adjust to all of this upheaval within the next 15 minutes. at least this Goddess doesn't expect it. i'm too busy trying to find my shoes and socks.

life is just one big mumbo-jumbo of corners and hills and dales and valleys and we can't give up. at least you and i can't. we're going to sit in Central Market and wait for Karen Hughes to come through and watch my friend Sonny tell her she is a crazy _______ because of her politics. (he has actually already done that but i bet we can get a do-over on it)

as soon as i started waking up this morning, i began my litany of worries for today. i have to go into Austin and that always petrifies me because hwy 183 is so very dangerous. i saw four big rolls of something fall off of a truck the other day and barely miss a little car. the reason they missed the little car was because the car took the MLK exit and had simply turned and was no longer in the spot it had been in when those rolls hit the highway. i also need to go to the market but that means that i'll have to go downtown and that really gets me going. i will still try to go there though. cross your fingers.

the leaves on the oak trees are turning red and gold and when the sun hits them it is a beautiful sight. the squirrels are really frisky and love bedeviling the dogs all day long. i put a squirrel feeder in the front yard and i have to go get more corn. they finally discovered it. i've planted most of the hibiscus and am planting the bouganviella today. it is supposed to be very warm here. thank GOD and the Goddesses!! no screech owl yet. the house is setting up on the pole with a "for rent" sign on it. i found out that rat snakes steal the eggs, so i have to make a metal collar to keep them from climbing the pole next spring. (for the pole, not the snakes)

my LR is finished.......west wall is dark red and the others are a beautiful, beautiful gold. the room looks twice as big and it reflects the light in such a nice way. and almost every drop of paint was free. only one quart of trim was purchased. bless Habitat for Humanity in Oklahoma! my BR is awful. i open the door and leap into the bed..it's the only way i can get to it. Lita follows and we snuggle down for the night. Fayeroe is no longer allowed in as she and Lita wrestle and snarl and snort and irritate the bejesus out of me....so she gets the sofa in the LR.

since i met you, you know where, i've always liked you, admired you, respected you and now love you as a sister. i'm closer to you than i am one of my sisters. you've inspired me and tickled me and delighted my funnybone.......i know you're having a hard time right now, but i'm a phone call/PM/e.mail away........love ya, pat

__zh . . . i can't believe it's December already. blink blink blink

oh when the sleep faerie visits . . . it is nice
hang in there ((((((huggs))))))

It's December already?! And I don't have any hosiery either Thanks for reminding me... (adding it to errand list for tomorrow) yes, these days seem more hectic even if you were planning on celebrating any of them

Glad you're posting to let us know

I know we're supposed to say "time flies when you're having fun" but I think "times flies when you're getting old". I swear the days get shorter as I get older. I can't keep up with all I need to do, especially in the month of December. I'm looking forward to the slower times of January and February.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ozzie said:
I swear the days get shorter as I get older. I can't keep up with all I need to do, especially in the month of December. I'm looking forward to the slower times of January and February.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> wonder if it is combo of both the shorter days AND the seasonal stress of holidays and family?

cannot wait for the solstice and the turning of the daylight hours!! need more light in this darkness and confusion.

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fayerody said:
if i thought i had a wedding to go to about now, i'd be having the tantrum of the century. i don't even own any hose or heels. i'd have to tiptoe through the tulips during the entire ceremony....going to the local big grocery store can get me going like nothing else these days. i burned up a pan yesterday with tea bags in it and had a major melt down......stress does it to us. and half of the time i can't even identify the cause of the stress. i love that part!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> tantrum starting. fortunately (if it could be considered fortunate) there were a couple pair of stockings packed away.....the shoes are another matter. cannot find the ones for this dress. NO IDEA where the tote with shoes has migrated to during unpacking. ***** moan ***** moan ***** moan ad infinitum....</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
i did decide to conquer one fear yesterday and i baked cookies and tromped over to my neighbor's house and gave them to him. he drinks and he scares me when he starts talking loud and waving his arms around. but we're going to be neighbors forever and i had to do something to keep some of my power. i can't give it all away. he was gracious and all giggly and showed me the room he was painting. so i wrote Pat-1, Fear-0 on the refrigerator board.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> well done! conquering fear isn't easy. glad you took risk and had positive result. cookies often can smooth the way when you'd least expect it. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
no screech owl yet. the house is setting up on the pole with a "for rent" sign on it. i found out that rat snakes steal the eggs, so i have to make a metal collar to keep them from climbing the pole next spring. (for the pole, not the snakes)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> was going to make comment about collars for snakes but then thought better of it. you're an amusing woman

alright.....this wedding is happening whether or not we're prepared, dressed appropriately, or even on time. so had better get on with this tantrum and move through to the other side. whew it is hard work being such a head case.

over the past decade we'd have blown off this wedding as too stress inducing to attend. still is stressful but we actually WANT to go and will do what is necessary to make it there safely.

as for the good time? once we get over ourselves we'll perk up into wedding mode and it will be fun.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Boopers said:
Hang in there! We are all here for you!!

Linda

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> ah Linda....you're very kind. happen to have a pair of black strappy heels? size 9 1/2? dang! will have to wear not quite matching pair with dress. like anyone will notice?! the bride will be the focus anyway!!

nerves all a-jangle. tantrum midswing. once it's out of system things look up.

thanks again for reassurance.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
wisewoman said:
I can see the pain and the understanding here. So touching. Keep hanging on. And yeah, the dogs, the animals, the children pull us forward.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> are your animals, children and such keeping you here and forward? you're in thoughts often and we hope your pain levels are manageable.

thinking of you effortlessly gliding through the water doing laps.....that's a peaceful thought.

thanks ww. may you keep getting through this time of year with as little fuss as possible.

thanks _Sky for the dates for Channukah.

did you get your stockings? hope this time of year is being gentle with you.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
i can't believe it's December already. blink blink blink

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> yeah who said the year could fly by so quickly?!! is babyboy a good sleeper? hoping your season is filled with peaceful times and delightful new memories to add.

hanging in there....but stil peeved that the dang shoes haven't surfaced by now! meh!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
gardenergirl said:
When flowing water...meets with obstacles on its path, a blockage in its journey, it pauses. It increases in volume and strength, filling up in front of the obstacle and eventually spilling past it...

Do not turn and run, for there is nowhere worthwhile for you to go. Do not attempt to push ahead into the danger...emulate the example of the water: Pause and build up your strength until the obstacle no longer represents a blockage.
from the I Ching

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> which version of the I Ching is that from? we have several translations and have been enjoying unpacking our books with the idea that we'll be able to return to studies soon.

have you ever paused to build up strength in your life? any examples you could share here?

thx for taking time and energy to respond.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
nothemama8 said:
we're right with you on this zh, by the way
Happy Chanukah
starts Dec. 16th until the 23rd
Love ya
Angie

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Hi sweetie!! we're sorry you all understand the unrelenting stress part.

hopefully now a couple weeks down the road you're doing a bit better? things have shifted slightly here but it still is awfully confusing and stressful.

be extra nice to all of you please. takes everyone inside to keep you all upright and moving forward. we're grateful you're all here and hopeful that you'll find rest and peace within this busy season.

dusting dirt off of hands and digging it out from under fingernails............planted another hibiscus, a trumpet vine, two cacti, a cute bush??? and two rosemary bushes that my neighbor gave me....

....moved the mountain rocks all around and re-arranged the flow into the yard. put up bird feeder that is shaped like a cat. i've owned it 20 years and never seen a bird eat from it.

cleaned entire outside yard area and finished compost area. one big window and two pieces of plywood. landlord leaves stuff here, so i'm using it.

i sure am glad that i didn't have to go to that wedding. i'm glad you went and i know you added multi-sparkles to the crowd. i've never owned any strappy high heels. are they fun? do you feel more glamourous in them? and as you said, the bride is the center today.

if you will come help me arrange and finish unpacking, i'll come help you. i can't leap to the bed many more times. it's getting on my nerves. but my house is so tiny and i have so much stuff. i have to make some painful decisions soon. as in Craig's list.

fill us in on wedding........