[spoiledprince]

Before I start, please, please, please don't come to the conclusion that I am in anyway belittling the actual disorder of body dismorphia; I'm just very distressed and have no idea what to call what it is I've been going through and what hits me so strongly right now.

A small introduction to why this is such a big issue to me, I love music- if there was anytime when I actually felt right, safe, at peace it would be when I sing. I have pages and pages of lyrics and my phone has turned into nothing but a shell to house all my ideas and random tunes. I've spent a good deal of money on recording equipment, I've made all the friends I have through musical pursuits, nothing makes me feel so right, so in place. Now, the problem- I hate the sound of my voice. It's always been a background nuisance, something I could ignore because of how natural and awe-inspiring the action of singing is....but today... I broke into tears at the sound of it. I can't sing. Have I not been able to not sing this whole time? My world is falling down around me.

I've been in a few bands, my partner sneaks up on me to hear me sing, I get complements and have been approached to be in projects. What's wrong with me? How can I be so torn? Is everyone lying to me? Do I sound as bad as I hear myself? I never want to sing again. I'm so embarrassed. Is there such a thing as hearing yourself wrong? Do I hate myself so much that I can't even stand the idea of my trying to be happy? Or is it time to face the truth, I can't sing and I never could. I'm heartbroken. Thank you for your time.

I was certainly harder on my looks when I was younger. I'm not sure if that is what you mean. You could spend an hour with a voice coach. They are paid to be completely honest. And maybe it is about finding how you want to express yourself. Juana Molina was getting nowhere with straight singing so she made her voice into a sound instrument with no language. Or maybe it is the pitch. There is a condition in which people are attracted to certain sounds like whispers on YouTube. It sounds funky but it is very interesting.

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[spoiledprince]

Originally Posted by Michanne

I was certainly harder on my looks when I was younger. I'm not sure if that is what you mean. You could spend an hour with a voice coach. They are paid to be completely honest. And maybe it is about finding how you want to express yourself. Juana Molina was getting nowhere with straight singing so she made her voice into a sound instrument with no language. Or maybe it is the pitch. There is a condition in which people are attracted to certain sounds like whispers on YouTube. It sounds funky but it is very interesting.

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Thank you for responding. This event was the tipping point for me and I've launched back into the blackness. I don't know what to do, I don't think I'll even bother. Sorry about the dramatic, but sincerely, thank you very much for taking the time to respond, it means a good deal.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by spoiledprince

Thank you for responding. This event was the tipping point for me and I've launched back into the blackness. I don't know what to do, I don't think I'll even bother. Sorry about the dramatic, but sincerely, thank you very much for taking the time to respond, it means a good deal.

Hang on, hold the phone! It is totally natural to hate the sound of your voice because the sound you hear on a recording often sounds nothing like what you hear in your head. I'm not belittling you nor negating your feelings....fact is, I hate the sound of my voice as well, and have (in my youth) been part of a couple of bands etc. It was fun once I got over the shock that I didn't sound like I thought I did. What I thought (and still think btw) sounds nasally and icky actually sounded (to others....if applause from paying customers is proof of impartiality) very sultry and husky.

I don't sing except for myself, because like you, I love music--tho not to the extent or talent you obviously possess---but it makes me happy. Please try not to be so hard on yourself. If others think you're good (bands and projects) you have to believe they would not offer if they thought your voice would embarrass them.

Fact is, you probably, to them, sound way better than you do to yourself. Kind of like...if you don't mind the analogy...perfume smells different on every person: to the one wearing it, and to the person near them. Which is why the best perfumes are so expensive, and so unique.

Take care ((hugs))