New here

Hi All, Just saying hello. Just found the site and though I'd give it a whirl. My nickname is supposed to be blackd0g, some typo's are hard to correct.

Anyway I'm a sufferer of depression and have been since about 16 years old. I'm now 34. It's been a long road with a few train wrecks along the way.

Currently I'm struggling with what seems a mountain I can't climb. Getting rid of the negative thoughts which I now believe cause my depression rather than a symptom of the depression.

I wrecked so much because of this. Lost friends, girlfriends and now my family.

I'm not a professional, but I think my condition came about through not being able to cope with a few harrowing life events when I was younger. Firstly the suicide of my godfather and best friend in a 12 month period. I've had a negative explanitory style since then I think. Before that I was a carefree surfer dude. Thats where I aim to be again.

I still see my two boys every second weekend, but I have intimacy problems with them which just compounds the pain I already feel. I love them both so much. My wife left 2 years ago and I just lost my girlfriend also, so I'm still screwing things up.

I'd like to add that I don't have a problem with violence or abusive behaviour. I'd never hurt someone like that.

On the up side I'm off the cigarettes for 5 weeks now and have stopped boozing too much.

Anyway that my long hello.

Steve

Hello Steve and welcome - I hope you find the support you seek here. We'll listen and share if you want to talk

Cheers,
LMo

Thanks LMo

Hopefully I can find some of the answers here and help others whilst I search for answers.

Welcome to PC

Sorry you've been through so much.

Hope to see you around the site and post as you want - you've found a supportive bunch of people.

Thanks again
And thanks LMo for fixing my nickname.

I'm new here also BlackdOg....I messed up on mine as well...My name was supposed to be 'Alpha mikey' but I couldn't change it after I messed up...lol....I wish you the best.

Can you fix mine LMO?

Hi, Blackdog, and welcome!!!

I hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for. One thing I'm pretty certain of is that you will never feel alone in your struggles while here. This sharing, caring group of people will let you know that quickly.

We're here...

KD

welcome blackdOg. Sometimes we have to take time to find ourselves before trying the relationships scene again. When we've experienced negativity for so many years, it takes many more to replace them...but worth the journey imo.

TC

Hi Blackd0g, Happy new year, and welcome to PC.

PC is a great place to come to get through depression. mark this as the beginning of the road to happiness. i am sure 2007 will be a good one for you, and it will have been 16 years in the making.

we do lose many loved ones through depression, we cant help it, we cant control it, and they dont understand. thats why they leave. unfortunately this is out of our control, but try to remember that these people who dont try to understand and help arent worthy of being in our lives. we deserve better than that, and one day you will meet someone who will understand and stick by you.

make sure you discuss things here you believe are causing you distress. talking about it and expressing your thought and emotions is the best way to defeat depression, thats why this site works so well.

congratulations on the smoke and drink, these (especially drink) do not help depression, so its best to shed these binds.

you seem to me as if you have started your journey to happiness and i am sure it wont be a long journey.

again, welcome to PC, and we are all here for you anytime, day or night.

simon

welcome steve........

Hi Steve,
Welcome to PC. I hope your stay here will bring you alot of peace.
I, too, have suffered from depression for many years. I know the show well.
You may want to check out the Depression Forum as you will get alot of support there also.
Best of luck to you,
Linda

Thanks again for the welcome everyone. I'm overwhelmed that so many people are out there helping each other.
Damnit now I have to review my cynical attitude on todays western culture. - Just kidding

Hey Blackdog, Welcome!
Pm me anytime, we are here for support~