[Anony]

I've been a hyphchondriac since I was little. I actually think that in my head, I know that deep down I'm probably exaggerating the severity of all illnesses, but I still can't help but be paranoid. I'm writing about this now because I've been in a panic mode all day. I met a lady several weeks ago (a customer) and every now and then we get to talking. Well, today she happened to mention that years ago doctors found out that she had a brain tumor. After two surgeries, they sent her home and told her parents to enjoy the time they could with her. Luckily, that was nearly 10 years ago. She still has the tumor, but there is no sign of activity in it. After hearing this story, I've been tense, moody, and paranoid all day. My heart's racing and my muscles are tightened. I thought I was a little better than when I was little, but today everything just overwhelmed me. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I remember watching the news one night during summer vacation. They were talking about a flesh eating disease (which is extremely rare) and I spent that whole summer begging my family to reassure me that it wouldn't happen to one of us. I couldn't sleep, I cried, I made my parents and sister do research on it. I think I'm more afraid that something bad will happen to someone I love... but also me too. If anyone tells me they have a headache or even if I do (which is a lot) I'm terrified that it's not just a headache, it might be a brain aneurism. These are just a few examples of what I live with everyday. It's so exhausting... I don't really know how I get through each day being me. It's ok if anyone thinks I'm crazy, I feel that way. You have no idea how terrified I am that something might happen now that I've written this.
Sorry for the long rant.
Anyone have any comforting words? I REALLY need some.

(hugs)

My neighbor comes over ever once and again because she is in a panic mode because of hypo. She really suffers so you have my sympathy. We sit down, have a cup of coffee and talk about what is bothering her... it seems to help her when we talk about what she thinks is wrong, why she thinks it and then really start to sort thru whether it could even be a possibility,,,

Would journaling help... or distraction - like renting a movie or making a routine when you start to have the feelings - like first I fix myself a cup of tea, then get a warm blanket ,
and a book to keep my mind distracted.

When I have terrible fears crop up. I try to say to myself that I will "worry about it tomorrow" - sometimes it works.

When I went on Paxil, that helped to calm a great deal of my fears.

I wish I could be more help, my thoughts are with you.

[Soidhonia]

Hello anony. I hope things are calming down a bit for you at this time. Are you seeing a therapist, there is a lot of therapy out there that can help you refocus your energies on helping yourself feel better and not so overwhelmed all of the time about disease. There is also medicaiton available for you as well that can help with the panic and the fear and the thoughts you are having. You are not alone or strange, at all you just have a mental health disorder that entails being afraid of getting diseases. Getting professional help will help you tremendously and help you to go on with your life. Take care sincerely Soidhonia

[Zen888]

I can totally relate to you! What has helped me is getting annual physical examinations by my family doctor......blood tests......everything.

[Perna]

When I get to worrying about things I can't do anything about, like falling off the ski lift when I took a ride on it in the summer, I use worst-case thoughts and go for it. I was terrified I was going to fall off and was pestering my husband, an engineer, about how "safe" was it (we're both grossly obese so the weight issue was worrying me too and he reassured me that people in winter outfits with skis weighed more than the two of us) and finally I realized it was sad to be spending the "trip" being terrified and miss the great scenery, etc. So I just "accepted" that the ski lift was going to fail and I was going to fall :-) and this was my last few moments, how did I want to spend them? It helped a bit to shift my mind from the fear to the scenery and "living" rather than fearing the bad thing.

[JustAPixie]

((((((( Anony )))))))

If you read some of my post you will see that I have in some posts and threads written as if I have a specific disorder... I don't know which are true or not... but my T assured me I can't have all the illnesses...

The worst part is when you are really sick, I still feel like I'm just imagining it... But yes, I have been to the doctor for everything from frostbite on my toes to tumors in my head... stayed in hospital a couple of times too... luckily by now my doc knows that I'm a hypochondriac and knows how to treat me... (I think he gives me placebos first and if they don't work he will give me real medicine... ) I'm not at the point where it really interferes with daily life, though, I just go to the doc about once or twice a week and phone him a couple of times... I think you must carefully evaluate how much this affects your life...

[January]

Hi Anony,

Please see a pdoc and therapist for your problems. Medication and therapy can create a whole new, happier life for you. You are not crazy. You have a problem and need to seek help for it.

My best to you,

January

[Anony]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I really appreciate it.

freewill: I have tried the "I will worry about it tomorrow" thought. In some cases it does work. If it's something minor, postponing the thought does help because soon I'll forget about it. If it's something big and serious, the feeling usually lingers with me for a long time, but the severity of my fears lessens if I try putting it off.

Soidhonia: I've thought about seeing a therapist (don't have the money right now). I never really thought there were medications out there to help with these types of feelings and thoughts, but that's definitely good to know.

Pilatus: Actually, I'm terrified to get my annual physical examinations! I know I should, but I don't have the courage to do something like that right now.

Perna: I can relate to your story somewhat Perna. I'm overweight, but sometimes I think I exaggerate how much. Last year my sister and I went to an amusement park and I spent the entire day whining and afraid that I wouldn't fit on the roller coasters and that I would fly out if I rode them. I eventually came to the same conclusion as you: I came to have a good time, so I'm going to. I rode all the rides without a problem and ended up having a pretty good day.

JustAPixie: I think the worst part of myself being a hypochondriac is that, like I mentioned before, I can't make myself go to the doctors to get checked out for everything that terrifies me, so it just ends up lingering in my head forever. Plus, it's not just me that I'm so worried about; it's my entire family. I'm convinced that if something has burdened me this long and I (or a loved one) actually does go to get it checked out, the outcome won't be so good.

January: Thanks for reply. I really am thinking about going to see a therapist (once I get a little money saved up).

Once again, I really appreciate everyones response. Talking about it does help a little.