I don't how to help a person.

I've told some of you on here before that I don't have the ability to help people.

I've just had bad experiences with being put down, ignored, or people not wanting my help. I've also never dealt with the same issues as my own, so I don't know what it's like and I can't give them any advice.

I want to help someone, but all I can do is comfort them. I know it's not enough.

I don't know how I could talk to them.

What do I do?

I feel really bad about this.

I feel like I'm letting them down.

I said I would be there for them,

And that I would not give up on making them happy.

I even said I would help them.

I don't want to lie to them!

I'm sorry, I really am. I don't know what to do.

Sometimes being there is more than enough. To let them know that they aren't alone. That you care enough to stay by them even at their low times.

A good friend lost her baby last year to SIDS. I've never had kids and truly did not know what to say. So I simply told her that. I told her I have no clue what you are going through but I'm here for you. She told me later that it meant the world to her. She said even family members withdrew from her because they didn't know what to say. She said she'd never felt so alone and when she most needed people they left because they didn't know what to do.

So just be there for your friend. You might not have advice but you can listen and be there for them.

Comforting a person is a huge thing to do. Please do not underestimate that.

Helping a person can also mean pointing them in a direction to some-one who has the skills.

Take Care of yourself as well.

just being a good listener is a great thing to do

You don't have to help. The biggest part about needing support is finding people who can gives no strings attached support. Just support, not help.

I'm sure of you tell your friend that you don't have any advice but that you have a shoulder they can lean on they will be very appreciative.

When I have been sad, I haven't needed expert words of advice, just a listening, non judgemental ear, understanding and a hug. It is the little things that count.

What tremendous comfort and help it was to find your hug on my post the other night! I was feeling very low and you were there for me, thank you.

Like others have said.. sometimes just being there is all that a person may need. I know that when I am really struggling I often find I don't want to focus on whats happening or talk about it ..but rather just hang out with a good friend and watch TV or a good movie..

thinking of you

Know that you aren't alone with these feelings? In fact, for instance here at PC, those in deep distress are to be told to call their T or go to the ER BECAUSE most of us here are not able to really "help" some people...

But by listening, yeah, that's good. And you want to give back something too...most of us do want that too...

I had a very accomplished musician ask me recently how to counsel those who came to him with all sorts of issues and he had no Christian counseling training etc... I think some of that is applicable here: Ask them what have they done to try and feel better or make the situation better? What did they want done? How can I help you? (Of course when he was working with believers, it was what did you want GOD to do?)

That shows that you want to help (and if they ask for something you can't provide, tell them you aren't qualified or such but if they think of something else to let you know ).

Asking questions like these helps her focus on a good outcome and options rather than stay muddled in the mire. And it helps her realize that maybe she hasn't done much in the way of helping herself.

And if you really think you can't offer anything but empathy, then say so! Just being there is often good for another.

When I give people hugs, I can understand what they are going through. A virtual hug to me, is equivalent to hugging someone and comforting them in real life. It's like I'm actually there instead of being behind a lap top screen.

Daydreaming and it's works. It really is amazing.

Trouble is you cannot make someone else 'happy' even if you could help more, I mean I know in my mind no single person is going to make all my mental crap go away and make me happy and for me to expect them to would be cruel...

I think if you remain supportive towards this person and do your best to help as much as you can it would be appreciated, it isn't letting them down if you put in a genuine effort and simply just don't know what to do to help them or may not be able to do some things that might help. Even just being there for someone though can be helpful....Not sure what is going on with the individual you are trying to help but if it has to do with psychological issues, it is very possible they would need some professional help I mean most regular people don't know how to provide treatment for that.