lost in the web real bad-- help!

I'm not sure where this belongs so I'm just posting this in the most general section. Moderators, feel free to move this wherever it belongs.

This is dead serious-- sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart. I will really appreciate it if someone who's dealt with a similar problem could give some advise. I would also like to know if what I say below is a symptom of some recognized mental disorder.

I have a problem with excessive Internet use. Spending so many hours on the Net interferes with my work/family, dumbs me down and makes me feel guilty and hopeless. A lot of time is being wasted and I feel that my life isn't going anywhere. So far I haven't been very successful controlling this.

Some days, I come to work (computer-related) and I feel sluggish and lazy to make the required effort. Even though there may be a deadline to meet, I feel indifferent and have trouble forseeing the consequences of not meeting it. So I go on-line and start browsing Web indiscriminately. News, technology, politics, forums-- I surf it all. Forums (usually politics or religion) are the worst, because you get drawn into a discussion about issues that are irrelevant to your life; the mind's focus isn't on one's real life but on some abstract ideas other people thought up. In the beginning,I feel a pleasant distraction and even a sense of adventure and am sure that everything's gonna be alright and I'll get to work just in time.

After a few hours, though, I get tired and overwhelmed by all the information my brain takes in. I also get the feeling that the work day is lost and continue surfing compulsively, just to kill my time. I perfectly realize that I'm risking a lot of trouble but some weird inertia doesnt let me stop and focus on what I should be doing. I feel a strange combination of guilt and utter indifference. I'm aware of reality but at the same time I'm out of touch with it as my focus is in what I read/post. It is as if theres a rigid pattern of behaviour has formed in my mind-- once I'm on my Web trip, Im forced to go on with it mindlessly. It is like going
to jail-- once youre in there you'll have to serve your sentence. It is also
like travelling through a one way tunnel-- you won't see the light until you've made it through the tunnel and can't turn back either. To put it briefly, I'm trapped.

The sense of time is distorted. I may feel that I just browsed through a couple of websites, but when I look at the clock it's already been several hours!

When the work day is over, I am extremely exhausted and don't care about myself anymore. I also feel heavy guilt-- so heavy that I can't look my family in the eye, I just want to hide in front of the TV or my computer monitor. I get irritated when they approach me for whatever reason. I feel that my life is a failure and compulsively seek yet more escapes from it. Other than the Internet, that may take the form of driving aimlessly or going to movies I dont care about. My mind is not
organized and goes in all kinds of directions without any central motivation behind it. I just want to kill my time with random activities and not be bothered by anyone.

Not all my days are like that and controls at my work aren't very stringent so I manage to perform at the minimum level.My relationship with co-workers is generally very good but I feel that I'm hiding a terrible
secret and that I'm a lier. I fear that this won't continue for very long, though.

I have one idea - if you are going to surf the web, set a timer for 15 minutes. When the timer beeps, you have to get back to work. You can use 15 minutes surfing as a reward for getting a task done. It sounds like you do have some distress over this, so if the timer thing doesn't do the trick you might want to look into therapy. It's debatable whether or not internet addiction should be considered a true diagnostic category, but any time something is interfering with your life it could be helpful to ask for help in changing it. IMHO, almost anything can become an addiction.

Good Luck with it!

<font color=orange>There is an easy answer to your problem that is neat, plausible, and wrong.

</font color=orange>

The classic key to a habitual addiction is when you begin doing it as a mood altering experience. Sexual addiction, gambling, excessive thrill seeking, etc can all fit into this category if and when one begins doing it not for the pleasure of doing it, but rather to pull themselves out of reality. Doing it becomes a mood altering experience just like taking a drug.

From the way you describe this it definitely sounds like it fits the bill as an addiction. I'm not sure if specialized therapy is avalailable for internet addiction but it would be worth seeking, if not some sort of therapy for addiction and other issues may be able to help you with this.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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