[BeaFlower]

I don't know how to do it. Maybe I could talk with a therapist, also if at the beginning I could be a bit embarrassed; I don't know if I really need a therapy, but maybe to talk with a doctor could help me and make me understand if there is something that I can do to 'improve'. But my main problem is to tell to my parents that I think to have OCD. I'm too embarrassed, even at the idea to do it. Probably they would make questions about why I think it, they would want to know more about my symptoms, and I don't want to tell them in details, I'm ashamed (also if probably I shouldn't be). And I don't want to make them worry.
I had decided not to do anything till I had finished to prepare exams and the dissertation, because I was already stressed enough. Now the exams are finished, and the dissertation almost is; if I wanted I could talk about it soon; but I don't think to be able. I never feel ready.
If you talked to people in real life about your disorder (not to a therapist, I mean to family or friends for example) how did you do? Were you embarrassed and scared too?
I have OCD, but also feedbacks from people with other disorders would be welcome.

[glok]

Hello, BeaFlower. Congratulations on you educational achievements.

The problem I had was not talking about how I felt. The problem was being told others did not notice since I always had acted out. Then, I crashed, and it was readily apparent I needed help.

The opportunity to talk about what was going on was ever recurring. People ask others almost mindlessly how they are doing. I really dislike the question, but if I felt the other person truly was interested, I would tell them.

I wish you well.

[SeekerOfLife]

I admire that you want to do this. I just cannot based on my past experiences.

[BeaFlower]

Originally Posted by seekersinking

I admire that you want to do this. I just cannot based on my past experiences.

Why? Did people react badly when you told them?

[Perna]

Is there anyone at school you can get advice from, a counseling center or something? How long have you felt you have had these problems? It could be that your parents noticed earlier but they did not want to "see" and did not mention it, hoping you would "grow out" of whatever behaviors. Have you looked at ways to help yourself, read any books on the subject, for example? I think OCD in Europe is viewed differently than here in the United States: An Epidemiological Perspective of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Children and Adolescents so you might want to do some more local readings to see what it "means" and maybe how you can better ask for help?

[Pikku Myy]

Hi BeaFlower. In my case the symptoms became too apparent. I was able to hide anxiety and panic by being medicated for years, when severe depression hit I turned from a working socializing person to a complete hermit. Finally just told my family and business partners, some of whom completely understood and others which thought I could be "cured" by some magic powder. In the end, they still accept me and now love me as I am. Sometimes to the point where it is irritating, lol. At least they can help me get thru some of my challenges better - by challenging me. I was MI person in the closet for most of my life. Hope this helps BeaFlower Feel better.

[BeaFlower]

Originally Posted by Perna

Is there anyone at school you can get advice from, a counseling center or something? How long have you felt you have had these problems? It could be that your parents noticed earlier but they did not want to "see" and did not mention it, hoping you would "grow out" of whatever behaviors. Have you looked at ways to help yourself, read any books on the subject, for example? I think OCD in Europe is viewed differently than here in the United States: An Epidemiological Perspective of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Children and Adolescents so you might want to do some more local readings to see what it "means" and maybe how you can better ask for help?

Sincerely I don't know if there is something similar in my university, and however I'd prefer to talk to my parents first. I discovered that I probably have this disorder a couple of years ago, but I've had symptoms since childhood. Sometimes my parents noticed my 'strange' behaviours (in childhood, because now I'm more able to hide them), but probably they didn't think that it could be something serious. I really don't know how to tell them.
I study psychology and studying OCD helped me...I discovered that it's not my fault if I have these thoughts, that was a relief, and that it's ok to resist to the compulsions also if at the beginning it increases your anxiety. In fact now I'm less scared by my obsessions and I have less compulsions, but I still have them, expecially when I'm stressed. It's also for this that I don't know if I should talk about it...OCD is less annoying than before, I could also tolerate it, maybe it's not worth doing something. But at the same time if I can still have an improvement I'd like to try.
Thanks for answering

[kiksmaryjane]

Hey Beaflower.

I am experiencing some difficult times, and considering getting help. When I think about it, I find it impossible to tell either of my parents, or anyone at all.

However, my best friend. Who is the shyest person ever, and was so afraid to ask her mom to go to the psychologist did it. I am not even exaggerating.
Her mom was aware of her physical problems, but not mental. It took her a while to prepare to tell her mom to go to the psychologist, she didn't tell her what she thinks she has, she asked her to make a visit with the psychologist.
Her mom found out what her mental issues are as my friend found out. The psychologist can share it with the family for you.

Get your mind set to it, seek help from a professional first and get diagnosed.
It will be all good, we can do it !

[TheWell]

I agree with the poster who said that colleges have mental health programs.

You should look into seeing a therapist at your college mental health program. They aren't there to judge you and you don't need to tell your family until you are ready.

[Sometimes psychotic]

My condition is a little different but to be sure i avoid technical or diagnostic terms. Instead of hey I have psychosis but they don't know if it's schizophrenia or maybe bipolar yet I just tell people I sometimes hear voices. More often than not they are curious rather than horrified. In contrast my mom was there when I first went into the hospital and the pdoc told her what I had was schizophrenia-like but we're not calling it that yet....for years my mom would ask if the doctor used the "s" word. No he did not... I did but he did not...

For them the word schizophrenia was charged with a a lack of hope as well as the tendency toward violence etc. but hey I hear voices eh no biggie....it's the same freaking thing but the technical words are so stigmatized in our culture I learned to avoid them and just explain what was actually happening to me...

[BeaFlower]

Thanks to everyone, all your feedbacks are useful for me. Some of you say that I could talk with a psychologist first, and then to my parents...I've always thought to do the contrary, but maybe this could be a good idea...but I'm not sure yet. I don't know if there is this service in my university...maybe I could find a psychologist elsewhere, but I don't know how. And I'm also worried that my parents remain badly because I didn't want to talk to them.
But I'll think about this. However, I can think about it, but to really do it...I'm scared Maybe I shouldn't, but I am

[Numbed]

Never been a concern for me really. When family found out about ADHD and ASD though, (ASD I'm still disputing after 3 years) I wasn't exactly chuffed when my Sister told one of her old friends (who I knew) that "ohh guess what, he's been diagnosed with autism!"

...completely 'forgetting' to mention ADHD... lol... Sister still a ****** even now, lol..
Doesn't bother me though, I got a laugh from hearing the above.

OCD and ADHD are pretty "public disorders", ASD not so much but Autism not something people completly misunderstand per se. C-PTSD, don't think i've said yet to anyone, other than my GF. Ofc though when people do ask and I say cause by emotional abuse, they're probably won't give it the weight it actually has. I mean, even I can see, the diff types of abusive, sexual being/seeing/read/saying sounds like "actual abuse", unlike emotional which people probably be quite clueless about, Even physical abuse, would get more weight than emotional. Which not saying one is this than other. No. I know though people won't get emotional abuse when I say it, and then i'll say, well you know how I was pretty close to stepping over the line and becoming a professional killer, yeah... ? They say NO!?! I say, there you go. :P

I honestly don't mind people thinking i'm "crazy" I find it fun to play up to the role of what people say sometimes, it's definitely because of my childhood and how I became the role that was forced onto me, because I was provoked into it.

I'm sure it is much different though for people who suffer more uncontrollable disorders.
I won't say any though.

Honestly, my Bro who only family I see and care about at this end of the UK, didn't further ask about ADHD or ASD, just "hhhuh", as in "cool", as in, "so what?" lol.

He got diagnosed dyslexia a year back, wanted to try to talk to him about it, he's only 19 atm, but he seems completely fine it with. Tries harder with communication/spelling etc even. He is even a grammar Nazi which gotta admit is pretty hilarious, being told how to spell, or structure a sentence etc by someone who has a learning disorder, who does it better than you?

What can you say to someone like that? xD

I think most disorders should be jested about, it sucks to see people worried unnecessarily about things. Besides, ADHDers always laughing, gotta, to make it through that, why shouldn't people with other disorders joke as well?

[(JD)]

I would think that your Uni counselor would have resources and possibly onsite testing for you.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by BeaFlower

I don't know how to do it. Maybe I could talk with a therapist, also if at the beginning I could be a bit embarrassed; I don't know if I really need a therapy, but maybe to talk with a doctor could help me and make me understand if there is something that I can do to 'improve'. But my main problem is to tell to my parents that I think to have OCD. I'm too embarrassed, even at the idea to do it. Probably they would make questions about why I think it, they would want to know more about my symptoms, and I don't want to tell them in details, I'm ashamed (also if probably I shouldn't be). And I don't want to make them worry.
I had decided not to do anything till I had finished to prepare exams and the dissertation, because I was already stressed enough. Now the exams are finished, and the dissertation almost is; if I wanted I could talk about it soon; but I don't think to be able. I never feel ready.
If you talked to people in real life about your disorder (not to a therapist, I mean to family or friends for example) how did you do? Were you embarrassed and scared too?
I have OCD, but also feedbacks from people with other disorders would be welcome.

hi beaflower..i have BPD and the people closest to me, gf's etc i had no problems telling them, because they were close to me anyways.

other people don't know and i don't mention it, i don't really talk to my family at all( i can go months and years without talking to them and it wouldn't bother me)

mainly people i am really close to and if i have known them long enough that i think they won't run away in terror.

funny thing my best friend is BPD too, and he didn't tell me..i told him first then he told me! haa ha ha! i had been suspicious with some of his girl problems but i never said anything & when we both knew we just laughed and laughed( guess he was scared i was going to abandon him,LOL!)

[BeaFlower]

Thanks JD and trying2survive. Maybe I could look online if there are these services in my university...I've never heard about some, but I could try. Though I'd prefer to tell my parents first...so I'd have the satisfaction to have won the embarrassment. But I don't know if I can. Maybe talking to a psychologist first would be a good idea...but I'm embarrassed also at this idea, and scared Do you think that it's ok if a see a therapist also if my OCD has improved? Could I benefit from it however?
Thanks if someone else wants to share how he/she talked to people, it's useful for me.

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by BeaFlower

I don't know how to do it. Maybe I could talk with a therapist, also if at the beginning I could be a bit embarrassed; I don't know if I really need a therapy, but maybe to talk with a doctor could help me and make me understand if there is something that I can do to 'improve'. But my main problem is to tell to my parents that I think to have OCD. I'm too embarrassed, even at the idea to do it. Probably they would make questions about why I think it, they would want to know more about my symptoms, and I don't want to tell them in details, I'm ashamed (also if probably I shouldn't be). And I don't want to make them worry.
I had decided not to do anything till I had finished to prepare exams and the dissertation, because I was already stressed enough. Now the exams are finished, and the dissertation almost is; if I wanted I could talk about it soon; but I don't think to be able. I never feel ready.
If you talked to people in real life about your disorder (not to a therapist, I mean to family or friends for example) how did you do? Were you embarrassed and scared too?
I have OCD, but also feedbacks from people with other disorders would be welcome.

Have you been to a doctor just to confirm a diagnosis or just to put your mind at rest or would you rather your parents and family knew about it first? When i first told my family about my depression and anxiety i was overwhelmed by the support because, like you, i was ashamed. I didn't want to talk about it i didn't want to admit it to myself and i was scared what others would think. Im not going to lie, some people have been so unhelpful and have brushed it off like its nothing. But do not be embarrassed or ashamed. it will only cause more stress and if you keep it in then it might make symptoms worse. Tell people you trust so your family and very close friends and I'm sure they will be supportive. They will ask questions and want to know more but just so they can help. Just try and explain your best and hopefully you should feel better. Don't feel embarrassed though its extremely brave admitting you think/have a disorder. Hope all goes well

[ifst5]

Firstly i would actually get the opinion of a professional if you haven't already - their judgement is an important first step. They will also be best placed to advise you on feelings surrounding shame etc. I always try to think pragmatically in these situations - who really needs to know? For example, if you would like your parents to know regardless of whether or not they're able to support you, then i would state the facts concisely, and explain that you're telling them because you want them to be aware of the reason for some of your behaviours. At least from there they might be understanding.

Do you still live with them? How is your relationship generally? You might need to ask yourself questions like that when considering how to tackle this problem. All the best.

[BeaFlower]

Thanks to both. I've never seen a doctor for this problem yet, I just know that I have the symptoms, and I made a test here at PC.
Yes, I still live with my parents, and our relationship is good. Usually I tell them almost everything, expecially to my mum. With my dad I'm more embarrassed, also because he's more easily worried, or at least he shows it more. If I tell them and I see that they are super worried and sad because I have a disorder I think that my anxiety about it will increase. MAYBE I could tell to my mum (but however I don't know how), but it would be inevitable to make it know also to him if I start seeing a doctor.
If I tell them it's not for receiving support, or not only...it's expecially for the 'satisfaction' to have done it, and because maybe I'd like to see a doctor and I don't want to go without telling them. In theory in could, but I'd prefer to tell them.
Oh, and there is also the problem that my dad has a friend with OCD and his is very severe, he would be extremely worried if he knew thatI have to same disorder...also if I think that mine is less severe.

[finebutnotokay]

If your relationship with your parents is good then i don't think theres anything to worry about or be ashamed. Yes they will be worried but it might put their minds at rest more if they understand why you have been behaving in certain ways and that you're active and eager to maybe receive help or you've done research of your symptoms to know you may have a disorder. If you let them know about going to see a doctor and tell them what you want about your appointment it will ease their worry more. You have to act for yourself though and focus more on your thoughts than others, of course they might be worried but if they feel like you can talk to them and not bottle it up, it might have a better effect. Maybe start off telling your mum and then your dad if your dad is more of a worrier. You never know, if your dad has a friend with OCD then he might be able to help if he has had an experience with someone with it. Do it all at your own pace though, and you only have to tell people when you're comfortable or who you're comfortable with knowing x

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by BeaFlower

Thanks JD and trying2survive. Maybe I could look online if there are these services in my university...I've never heard about some, but I could try. Though I'd prefer to tell my parents first...so I'd have the satisfaction to have won the embarrassment. But I don't know if I can. Maybe talking to a psychologist first would be a good idea...but I'm embarrassed also at this idea, and scared Do you think that it's ok if a see a therapist also if my OCD has improved? Could I benefit from it however?
Thanks if someone else wants to share how he/she talked to people, it's useful for me.

good idea to see a therapist, it's not an easy process, but it can be helpful

[BeaFlower]

I also wanted to say that when I was a child and I had some tics (some also now) sometimes my parents said that maybe it would have been necessary to take me to doctor (probably they meant a psychologist or a psychiatrist) for this, but they never did it...don't know if it's because they were ashamed to admit that I needed it, or because at the end they decided that it was better to wait...but if they were ashamed maybe they would be also now. I know that they love me, but maybe they wouldn't like the idea that I go.
And if I decide to talk to them I wouldn't like to describe how my obsessions and compulsions are...most of them have something to do with religion, but it's difficult for me to say more also here, where I know that nobody would judge me...I don't think to can do it in real life. Do you think that if I talk to them it's necessary to be precise about this? How can I explain what I have avoiding these details? And if they ask me how can I do? This scares me

[SeekerOfLife]

I have been thinking about this and wanted to add some more.
Myself, I would talk to a therapist. They are trained in this. It is their specialty.
It is possible your parents already suspect. Perhaps they are wondering how to bring it up.
I generally dont bring it up with anyone because in the past when I have mentioned my issues to my siblings, they either ignored what I said or discounted it. Why do you feel your parents need to know? Are you in need of extra support? I never told my parents because they were elderly and I did not wish to burden them.
Best wishes Beaflower.

[BeaFlower]

Thanks for answering seekersinking. Your question made me reflect. Why I feel that my parents should know? Maybe because I'm tired to keep this only for myself...I don't want to be ashamed. But I am. This is the problem. And another reason is that I'd like to talk with a therapist and if I tell them it would be easier...they could help me finding one, and I wouldn't need to go with the fear that they discover it. It's expecially a practical reason.
It's possible that they already suspect something, but I'm not sure.
I really don't know which words to use that are clear but not scary, and not embarrassing for me...and how to avoid to say something that I'm not ready to say, like which obsessions I have.
Thanks again for answering, each answer is precious for me.

[Myself98]

Hey, BeaFlower. I have OCD as well and my parents and best friend knows it. It just came out. I probably have Borderline Personality Disorder and I'm worried that I may be bipolar too. I have a similiar problem to yours. I often have these thoughts, mailny when I go to sleep. They are about the devil, accidents that may happen to my close ones It's not easy to get rid of them, but I just say they are not real, that it's not me speaking, so in time they are quieting down Maybe you should try it

[BeaFlower]

I understand what you say, I use more or less the same 'method' and it does something...also if these thoughts are however annoying. So your parents noticed it alone, right? Recently or when you were a child, if I can ask? I wish that mine had noticed it and found a therapist for me some time ago, maybe it would have been easier...but I understand that it can be difficult for someone else to notice it. The positive thing is that maybe if I talk to a doctor now I'm more ready.
Thank you so much for answering me Myself98