My Dad~

This is my dad . He is almost 87 yrs old . YesterdayI went to his house to give him his new glasses that I had picked up for him . He just went thru 2 cataract surgeries. I was there just Wednesday to put his last antibiotic eyedrop in his eye. He was ok. I couldnt find him anywhere iin the main part of the house. So I knocked on his bedroom door. He was in there. But he couldnt get to the door. The unknown scared me to death. I tried picking the lock( I dont think I'd be a good robber) I also tried taking the pins out of the door. I got 2 out just fine . The bottom one though.. was jammed shut. I tried for about a half hour. Finally I called my brother( the one that abused me) I hate being there with him. But I had to do it for Dad. He needed help. Now before you say I should have called the EMS. I thought yes I should. But some of you know the turmoil I've gone thru him with doing things like that. And I thought as long as he is still talking to me.. I would try it this way. My brother who has terrible back problems himself. Got down on one knee and took the pliars, and a hammer and got it out of the jam. We got the door off and we found him laying on his bed, half on it ( head to his but ) and his legs hanging down. For his sake I am going to spare some details here.

I tried to bath him but everytime we made any kind of motion he had to throw up. I called he EMS. I had asked them a few times before to come check on dad. And they always obliged. This time they couldnt. Because of liability. So the EMT suggested I call the visiting nurses who were just a block away. Dad has been a patient of theirs before. One of the girls were happy to come down and check him out . Just to see if we needed to get him over there or not. We tried to stand him up and it was too much pain. So I knew I had to call the EMS back and say come get him. This all started around 3:15 pm yesterday. They took tests, xrays CT all that. Determined that he might have had a mild stroke. So they admitted him. WE finally got him to his room around midnight last night. Got him tucked in and the girls were wooing over him that quick lol. He is a charmer when he wants to be lol.

Today I got up there along with my sister and two nieces around noon. He was awake and moderately coherant. Last night he was confused and combative. And his left eye was droopyand didnt want to open. They took him for an MRI of his head , Ultrasound of his coraotid arteries, xray of his rt hip and leg. He is having bad pelvic pain especially with movement and coughing. I got a call a bit ago and they asked for consent to do an MRA. Its like an MRI only using contrast fluid to see the carotids better. We dont have results back of any of these tests yet. Hopefuly tomorrow.

I feel badly because I wasnt there sooner. I feel I let him down. I hope he knows that I do my best for him. I love my dad.

He sure looks like a neat "daddy", Beth! Now I know who you took after! I'll bet he IS a charmer!

Still got you and him in my thoughts and prayers. Hope everything turns out for the best.

PS Tell him some weirdo, trouble making cyber friend of yours is pulling for him, ok?

((((((((Beth and Dad)))))))))

Keeping you both in my thoughts and heart.

ps Love his hat.

Sweet Sunshine,

What a wonderful picture of your Dad.

Don't beat yourself up over what you could have done. We all do our best based on what we know at the time.

Keep us posted.

Hugs,

EJ

these are all the reasons to feel proud of yourself,
remember you have always had your Dad, wishing I had as much as you
Angie

((((((((((((( Bethy and Dad )))))))))))))))

I think you did just fine. (((hugs))) No second guessing allowed. ok?

IF you knew he was in trouble, you would have gone over immediately, right? If you knew this and didn't go, then you might be able to think you made a poor decision (taking into account it wasn't against your best interest?)

Your father is my mother's age. It's time to realize that they make their own sometimes stubborn decisions, and they aren't always the best ones. They made their own decisions as an adult, and sometimes age causes them to pay for those decisions.

You are doing the best you can for now, imo. That's all you can do. TC

((((SS & Dad))))

You are both in my prayers hon. I think you did a wonderful job getting the help you dad needed. It's such a difficult job taking care of our elderly parents. There is nothing easy about it and remember that hindsight is 20/20. All we can do is the best we can do in the moment. Your dad knows you did everything you could do for him. He is lucky to have such a wonderful daughter!

Take a deep breath, even a few of them dear. Sending you strength and peace through this difficult time!

Hugsssssss
Jean

((((((((((( Beth )))))))))))

The others have posted what I think. You did a wonderful job in a very scary situation.

What Sky said about our parents is so true. They are adults and they make decisions. Sometimes we have to clean up the problems that are created by their decisions and it's hard and frightening.

You're doing great.

Hugs,

Jan

(((((((SweetSunshine & Dad)))))))))))))

beth I think God works in mysterious ways. had you not had to deliever his glasses you might not have been there when you were hon. I am glad you got to him in time. many prayers heading your way.

oh beth ...you did good....what a handsome dad you have......

I am keeping you and your dad in my thoughts and prayers...good luck to you both!! and you did great!!

Thanks Each and Every One of YOU!!! Again.. your thoughts and prayers mean so much to us!!! Dad is still not doing the greatest. He is having alot of pain. The broken rib is affecting his lower torso area on the one side . The nerves that run along that rib that is broken is causing alot of pain and soreness. We thought he was getting gout in his feet too. But they took a uric acid test for that and it came back negative. He still isnt mobile. The best PT could do with him today was to get him to sit up on the side of the bed for 5 minutes. His lungs are becoming garbled. I talked to my sister who went up to see him tonight and she said he is now running a fever of 102. This has me greatly concerned. His left foot that has the old bones broken in it is very swollen now too. I dont know what is happening with him .. but I am very worried. I am gonna let them get patients to bed here and settled in and then I will call around 10:00 before the next shift comes on.

Please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers if you will. He is really needing them .

Thank You!!
Hugz
Bethy

Beth,

I'm so sorry your Dad isn't doing well.

((((((((( Beth, Dad & family ))))))))))

Take it one day at a time. When you have to, take it one minute or once second at a time.

Hugs,

Jan

Thanks everyone for your good thoughts and prayers for my dad and me too. Been a rough few days here.. and we still dont know what lies ahead for him.

Last night he came down with a low grade temp. He has gout in both feet too. His lungs sound garbled. He is cold and clammy feeling. They still dont know what is wrong with him other than the gout and broken rib, and some old breaks in his left foot.

I was there when the doc came in today. He is going to get some more xrays of dads lungs just in case he might be getting an infection there. They are going to start him on an iv antibiotic too. And medication for the gout. He was so confused today and couldnt talk right at all. We are hoping he didnt have a stroke now. They do still have him on morphine at night to help him sleep with the pain . And that could be causing some of the confusion . But its hard to tell be cause he also gets this way with infections. Needless to say.. we arent that much further ahead than before.

He is unable to do physical therapy right now because of the gout. They have given him shots to help with him not getting any blood clots. Hopefully everything will turn out ok.

Please continue to keep him in your thoughts if you wll. I'd much appreaciate it.

B

Well I am off to my dads house right now. We are transferring him to a rehab center today . Hopefully this will work again and get him home where he feels like he can rest comfortably. He hates being in these homes. I hate it for him too. But right now this is the best place for him and for his safety. I hope he will be able to adjust well . I know he likes the nurses there lol.. He's an ornery guy lol. Just wanted to update you guys as to what is going on with him. Thanks for the good thoughts and prayers. They've been much needed !!!

Hugz
Bethy

beth..i hope that dad does well at the rehab center!

Thank you Julia !! I hope so too. And thanks for responding . I have been so upset about this again. So it means alot to me that you did care enough to reply. I am waiting on the call from the hospital. The squad is transferring him over there since he is non ambulatory yet. I went and did his laundry up and all that and got it packed to take over there. I hate doing all that paperwork .. ugh. its always something....

Thanks again ~
Bethy

Beth I hope things are well. I know how bad he and you hate him being in the rehab again but you do what you gotta do hon. hang in there.

Thank you B. When they brought him into his room yesterday at the rehab center, I said hi to him and he said to me that he didnt know if he was speaking to me or not. I dont know how many times I have to go thru this for that to not mean anything to me. But my heart dropped . I've done for this man for 13 yrs... every aspect of my life revolves around him... and he doesnt know if he is speaking to me?

Beth, Jerry's sister went through this alot before Jerry's dad died. It really hurt her feelings, too, but one time she thought she'd call his bluff and she said "Ok. Then I won't stay. I'm going home." She turned around and left. It broke him of doing that for a while. He never tried that with Jerry because he knew Jerry wouldn't go back.

I know it sounds mean, but your dad treats you that way because you let him.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Beth}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Tomi's right, Beth. Call his bluff. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

Hugs,

Jan

My dad is not doing well.. I just went to see him and he is having a really hard time. He just told me that he thinks he had a stroke over the weekend. I've seen him everyday since he went to the nursing home except for Saturday. My sister was down then. I am feeling so overwhelmed right now.. I have no idea which direction I am going lol. Sorry for sounding so crazy right now.

(((((((((( Beth & Dad )))))))))))

I know it's hard, so confusing and exhausting. Take care of yourself. You can't take care of him if you don't take care of yourself. You have health issues of your own. Please take care of you, too.

Hugs,

Jan