[MotownJohnny]

First off, yes, I know, I'm a real trip, certain people here find my statements about MI issues offensive, albeit I think they know it's not intentional. I'm sorry for that. I really do think the world of the members of this community, they have helped me so much.

Second, now the groveling part -- I need help. I am destroying what could be a pretty good life post-breakdown by obsessing over said breakdown, over stigma, of MI issues, over my feelings about it.
I would like to ask for help stopping that. I've really hit the wall, so to speak, I am destroying myself over this. I have had some very deep, serious discussions with a couple of trusted friends, with my T, with a family member. None of them really "get it" - my concerns seem strange to them, irrational, not valid. So, I know that all of them can't be wrong. I know I'm wrong.

I don't know if it's appropriate to ask for this, but I would love a couple of members to sort of coach/mentor/support me in positive thinking, radical acceptance, getting myself back on track physically and mentally, and just generally in "letting go" of all of the false beliefs. Could be through an ongoing thread on the appropriate forum, could be PM's. If anyone would be willing, i would be so grateful, and in return I would offer to do whatever I could for them, or pay it forward to another member.

Thank you,

Motown

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MotownJohnny

First off, yes, I know, I'm a real trip, certain people here find my statements about MI issues offensive, albeit I think they know it's not intentional. I'm sorry for that. I really do think the world of the members of this community, they have helped me so much.

Second, now the groveling part -- I need help. I am destroying what could be a pretty good life post-breakdown by obsessing over said breakdown, over stigma, of MI issues, over my feelings about it.
I would like to ask for help stopping that. I've really hit the wall, so to speak, I am destroying myself over this. I have had some very deep, serious discussions with a couple of trusted friends, with my T, with a family member. None of them really "get it" - my concerns seem strange to them, irrational, not valid. So, I know that all of them can't be wrong. I know I'm wrong.

I don't know if it's appropriate to ask for this, but I would love a couple of members to sort of coach/mentor/support me in positive thinking, radical acceptance, getting myself back on track physically and mentally, and just generally in "letting go" of all of the false beliefs. Could be through an ongoing thread on the appropriate forum, could be PM's. If anyone would be willing, i would be so grateful, and in return I would offer to do whatever I could for them, or pay it forward to another member.

Thank you,

Motown

um these things you are asking for sounds to me like performing therapy/what a therapist does/ what a psychiatrist does. its my understanding we are not supposed to act like therapists coaching each other on good behavior, convincing /teaching someone to let go of false beliefs/let go of their negativity.....

my suggestion for these kinds of things maybe you can print off your post and show it to your treatment providers. then they will know what kinds of things you need to work on and can help you to develop the treatment plans you are looking for to address these issues.

[Altered Moment]

You maybe caught in going down the rabbit hole of causation. Analysis Paralysis. "Get out of the problem and into the solution."

Maybe try downloading a bunch of these CBT work sheets.

CBT Therapy Worksheets & Self-Help | Psychology Tools

There is a whole bunch. The first step is being aware of the thinking which it sounds like you are. When I am real depressed I often obsess about all the issues around it. When I am doing good I don't think about it. You are welcome to PM with the specifics on what you are obsessing about. I dunno how much help I can be but I can try. Or use this thread so other people can post what has worked for them.

15 Common Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central

Fixing Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central

[Lexi232]

Have you thought about creating a blog?

"Positive Affirmations" can be useful too
I used to not be able to understand them, because i didn't see any of them in me. but when people who knew me, started throwing some at me, i started making lists, and if they believe it.... then its something that i might start to believe...
I feel very uncertain about myself.... which causes me to not believe my own self.. i can believe others... just not myself... even if i think something is true, i end up marking it off due to anxiety and fear, because i question, is it really as i think that i see it... and following that, i dont even trust my own thoughts and memories and feelings, to feel comfortable with making that decision on if a positive affirmation is true about me or not....

[Open Eyes]

Mowtown, I am sorry that you have talked to friends and family members that "don't get it". That doesn't mean you are wrong, or that this challenge isn't "real" to you either. Most people can relate to the challenge you are having in their own way.

In my own experience with developing PTSD, I have been a very "misunderstood" person not only by friends and family members, but a few professionals along the way as well. When it comes to stigmatizing? Well, there is certainly an abundance of that in human beings. No matter what someone is, there is a stigma for it, be it ones' religious orientation, color, class, culture, political orientation, occupation, where they reside etc.

The person that needs to really make the decision or find a balance however, is "you". And that means not stigmatizing "self". The main challenge with you on this right now that you have reached out for here, is help so you can find your way to that sense of personal balance instead of the self stigmatizing that is actually quite common with PTSD sufferers, I hear you because I have had that deep challenge myself as well, however, I have also noticed how others are challenged with that as well.

For myself, I can only say that as a person who struggles with PTSD, I have graveled with that on many levels. There had been a lot of things that were important to me, things I valued in my life that others did not share in. I actually learned that in a big way when I experienced the stress breakdown that turned out to be labeled "post traumatic stress". I expressed all the red flags that meant "trauma patient", yet what got in the way the most is other people's opinions about the "value" of what I had lost that traumatized me. I was misdiagnosed because of that "fact". It never occured to me that I should have presented proof either. Unfortunately, that is how people are, unless they are personally involved with something, they don't recognize the significance of it. Also what surprised me the most is how quickly I was misjudged. I have had to work on this with my Therapist who, thankfully has reviewed my records after taking time to know me and recognized that yes, it was wrong how I was judged so quickly based on how little these professionals knew about me as well as what I valued.

Mowtown, you talked about this community being so understanding and helpful to you, many have talked about that, do you know why that is so? While others may not struggle with PTSD, they do know "struggle" and in that alone they are more "receptive" and "understanding".

You also need to consider the statistics of people that struggle in some way too. The truth is, the overall percentage of individuals that have some kind of Mental Health Challenge is very "high". That is the "true Reality" in human beings. I tell people to go to some busy mall somewhere and just "sit" and people watch for a while. It becomes very obvious how unique we all are, so in that alone, others have different ways their brains are unique too. The true "normal" is to be "unique" in some way. The true insanity is assuming there is a "normal" that means anything "different". For myself? I live with a husband who has a brain with two learning challenges ADHD and Dyslexia and I have a daughter that has dyslexia they have their own unique challenges, they don't view things the way I do. Well, they are just unique individuals in a way science has finally identified. I have been learning about how their brains are different, but I am not going to really know because I don't have these challenges myself. In turn, they know I have PTSD, but they are not going to really know what that means unless they experience it first hand. Stigma really means "I don't "know" what that is so I decided it is "bad".

You can decide to embrace the "unknowing" of stigmatizm, or you can choose to become a "humanist" instead and realize the truth is, "we are all unique" and in that can be quite interesting too. It would really reduce your PTSD symptoms too, if you keep working towards finally embracing not "self stigmatizing" and instead work on growing and learning in spite of your challenge with it. In saying this Mowtown, I know that takes time and I know you have been trying.

I remember when I was struggling really bad with trying to explain my challenge. Someone said to me "People don't know, nor do they care to know". Well, that is true for a lot of people, but not all people, otherwise we would not have gained the knowledge we now have about how people "are" challenged in different ways. I think it is wise to think about being one of those people instead who "choose to want to know and understand", those are the ones worth knowing and embracing.

[JadeAmethyst]

good luck, good health MJ

[Ripose]

I have mentioned in several posts about an online course I just finished called "The Science Of Happiness" The only reason I keep bringing it is because it has helped me on so many levels, from self-acceptance to mindfulness to positive thinking and finding the goodness in myself and others.

The course is just about over but you can still take it as a self-paced practice in everything I mentioned. There are lecture videos, exercises, discussion forums and many links to other resources if you wish to get deeper into any of the material covered.

No I don't work for edx.org I just found it to be truly helpful when I was at a low spot in my mental health issues.

There is also "Resilience - Becoming a resilient person" which is mainly lecture videos and takes only a couple of days unless you do the exercises of teaching what you learn to someone else. Once again I found this course to truly help with my mental health issues.

These courses are put on by the likes of Berkeley, MIT, and Harvard so the quality is there.

[shakespeare47]

Sorry to hear about your troubles... Sounds like you are dealing with your problems in a constructive way.

[SnakeCharmer]

Hi, MotownJohnny. I learned how to change my thinking and radically accept myself, others and life -- with all of their chaos and flaws -- by using Rational-Emotive-Behavior-Therapy by Dr. Albert Ellis.

I started with The New Guide to Rational Living. It's a great book and helped me to start changing my thinking.

This book, How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable, has short chapters with exercises at the end of chapter. It's a step-by-step approach to learning how to change our thinking and learning to accept ourselves, others and life.

http://www.amazon.com/Stubbornly-Ref.../dp/0818404566

If you were willing to get that book I'd be very happy to discuss the chapters and exercises with you and to help coach you through how to do it in the easiest way. I've been doing it for years. I use it every single day of my life.

I'm not a perfectionist for form or demanding that it has to be done a certain way. The most important thing is for a person to start.

When I got the books, I went through them really fast. Nothing sunk in. Then I went back and went over the material slowly, doing the exercises. It was hard for me to admit that many of my problems were due to my beliefs and thoughts and actions, rather than to things other people did. Really hard.

The only person we can change is ourselves, so this approach deals with us and learning to change the things we can and accept the things we can't.

If you're interested and willing to go about it in a structured way, we can talk about it. If it's not for you, there are other approaches that might work.

Mostly, I want to commend you for wanting to head in the direction of acceptance and changed thinking. You'll have my support!