[nth humanbeing]

I’m not sure how to explain this .I do not agree with prejudice ,but at the same time I find it difficult to keep my mind open to different perspectives and I feel like being “open” is like always being swinging from one attitude to another and never feeling safe enough with any of them. I’m pretty sure I have got the idea wrongly, and I don’t know how to think of it another way . I’d like to quote from the movie “Dead poet society” : “ just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way” . and this makes me confused . I feel like I can’t trust my perceptions ,I can’t rely on anything( any concept ) because just when I feel I’ve had some insight ,I question myself and actually think of two contradicted things at the same time. I also don’t think I really have much of a wide perspective toward anything though.I like to know how others make it to be open minded ? I don’ know why it feels to me like being no stable.
[sorry for the possible bad grammar, I’d appreciate your corrections]

[atomicc]

Hello and welcome to PC! I'm glad you found your way around the forums.
Excuse me if I'm a little confused, are you asking how to be open minded in general or about something specific?
Perhaps therapy could help you be more open minded ?

[ifst5]

Some people are better at handling change than others - and life, rightly or wrongly, is ever changing. What do you think you need in order to feel more secure? Closer relationships? Better financial stability? Faith or maybe freedom from religion? Someone once said to me that the 'point' of it all is serendipity amidst the chaos - maybe for you that would be a better way of looking at things? Sorry if i've not been too helpful, i hope you feel you can elaborate

[James511]

I think a persons ideology changes to some degree as you grow older. What I use to think was okay 30 years ago is appalling to me today. I think being open enough to at least consider a different perspective is important. There's nothing saying it will or must convince you.

[nth humanbeing]

Originally Posted by atomicc

Excuse me if I'm a little confused, are you asking how to be open minded in general or about something specific?
Perhaps therapy could help you be more open minded ?

I'm speaking generally.
I've been in therapy for about two years and something i feel has changed in me is my attitude toward people; i think i've become less judmental and now i often feel like nearly no one is to blame for their mistakes and imperfections (because we all have our very unique genes and our own circumstances and upbringing,so our choices are always affected by these factors).But considering this makes me feel like there's no absolute "right" or "wrong" (which i suppose is a good and recommended way of thinking) but when i think about these uncertainties, i feel like the ground is shaking under my feet,i ask myself : then how would i know which decisions are better to make?

[nth humanbeing]

Originally Posted by James511

I think a persons ideology changes to some degree as you grow older. What I use to think was okay 30 years ago is appalling to me today. I think being open enough to at least consider a different perspective is important. There's nothing saying it will or must convince you.

My past mistakes and opinions i consider wrong now, are apalling to me too, and i think being open minded shouldn't cost as much self despise as I'm experiencing because of the past.

[James511]

Dear Human, I've looked back on my life and wonder who that person was. I've struggled with so many things, too many to mention. Please don't despise yourself......

[Ripose]

Most people are very resistant to change no matter how big or small the issue may be.

You seem to be open to change but are confused about what is right and wrong. What makes something right or wrong changes with time and your views about these issues also changes as you grow and mature throughout your life.

Always remember that a decision you made yesterday would be based on the information available to you at the time, so it was most likely correct. However tomorrow you may discover new information which forces you to change your opinion or reverse a decision. The willingness to accept the new solution to the original problem is a definite sign of maturity and intelligent thinking. You should not be confused about changing your mind when this happens.

I make mistakes all the time and someone could very well point out errors in my post here, if they do I will listen to what is said and change my mind if necessary. I have no reason to be confused unless I am missing some vital information.

I think you are ahead of the game so far and should not be so hard on yourself.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by nth humanbeing

I'm speaking generally.
I've been in therapy for about two years and something i feel has changed in me is my attitude toward people; i think i've become less judmental and now i often feel like nearly no one is to blame for their mistakes and imperfections (because we all have our very unique genes and our own circumstances and upbringing,so our choices are always affected by these factors).But considering this makes me feel like there's no absolute "right" or "wrong" (which i suppose is a good and recommended way of thinking) but when i think about these uncertainties, i feel like the ground is shaking under my feet,i ask myself : then how would i know which decisions are better to make?

It's really about what is "right" or "wrong" according to what you value in life. And values do change. You might be more understanding of others that may have been doing something wrong and that is helpful. If they continue to do "wrong" and not try and make things better, you may not consider having that person in your life. And this is so obvious, but you are not always going to make the right decision....that is OK we have all done that. There is no perfect answer to most things.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by nth humanbeing

I’m not sure how to explain this .I do not agree with prejudice ,but at the same time I find it difficult to keep my mind open to different perspectives and I feel like being “open” is like always being swinging from one attitude to another and never feeling safe enough with any of them. I’m pretty sure I have got the idea wrongly, and I don’t know how to think of it another way . I’d like to quote from the movie “Dead poet society” : “ just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way” . and this makes me confused . I feel like I can’t trust my perceptions ,I can’t rely on anything( any concept ) because just when I feel I’ve had some insight ,I question myself and actually think of two contradicted things at the same time. I also don’t think I really have much of a wide perspective toward anything though.I like to know how others make it to be open minded ? I don’ know why it feels to me like being no stable.
[sorry for the possible bad grammar, I’d appreciate your corrections]

i think because i have been wrong so many times..it has forced me to keep an open mind and not think that i "know it all" bcos i definitely don't.

i have found that life is constantly changing and so am i, stable is a foreign word to me! LOL! but i manage.

i think that life is an ever changing experience and the experiences help us grow.( i should be an oak tree by now!) it does give me a lot to think about and i constantly do think about things!

it is good to "look at things from other's point of view" i have found this is quite helpful in resolving and minimizing conflict.

being obstinate is not always a good thing, if you can change your mind..look at things from all sides..you can get a better overall perspective.IMHO

[lovefromdover]

Originally Posted by nth humanbeing

My past mistakes and opinions i consider wrong now, are apalling to me too, and i think being open minded shouldn't cost as much self despise as I'm experiencing because of the past.

We all make mistakes (you're not that special on that).
Let it go, start over.

[Slamjammer]

I am reminded of the old saying that "He who believes in nothing will fall for anything". Perhaps the issue is that you are not "grounded" in your core beliefs.

There is a difference between "relative" and "absolute" truths. Relative truths tend to change with the times...such as societal views on such things as alcohol consumption, divorce, abortion, homosexuality, etc. etc.

Some "absolute" truths would be the value of hard work, perseverance, honesty, thrift, self respect and respect for others.

You can add to these lists, but if you ground your belief in relative truths, you will be constantly re-examining your self, your opinions and decisions. Absolute truths are like gravity....they ain't gonna change. Ground yourself here and sleep nights.

[dogma9]

Uncertaintity, in my opinion, should be uncomfortable, as it evokes deeper emotions we may not always be ready to confront. Perhaps people should take their cues and motivations from what provokes discomfort. It is an indication of what we want to see change in ourselves, as well as the world. Saying is easier than doing, of course. Comfort is not without it's merits....

[kurtdee]

I have no steadfast solution, it's all part of earth school. Can empathize though.