[Thelema]

Ok...you can see that I am board in my hotel room because I am getting esoteric.....Sometimes I feel like I am going to "loose it." I consider myself to be reasonably well adjusted and -for lack of a better word- sane, however I think things that I am pretty sure the average person does not think. I talked to my therapist, and he thinks some of my impulses are a little off from the norm too. So, what if I cross the line? Can you come back? I've led an "interesting" life and have done things people might not like, but I've managed to be pretty successful overall. I don't want to go crazy or anything. Maybe this should be on a form for impulse control or something, but I did not know where to post it.
If I did loose it, how would I know?

<font color=blue> "History shows again and again how nature puts up the folly of men." </font color=blue>

[Butterfly_Faerie]

What do you mean if I loose it?

What have you said to your doc to make him said that you are out of the norm?

I think alot of people (myself included) have felt like loosing it, doesn't mean your crazy. You are definatly not Insane, the only people I consider insane is someone who kills someone else and has no remorse, that's insane.

If you have alot of stresses right now then yea you will feel like that ,like you will explode or something, i don' t think you are crazy, you said you are sucessful, that is good, and postive. Sure you've said things to people you shouldn't have said, but everyone does that as well, hell i've done that too many times to count.


<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[Thelema]

I don't feel remose about anything. Its a fluke that I've never been in jail and am instead financially well off....where does that leave me?

You're right that one should not dwell in the past. I've said and done a lot of bad things to a lot of people. It does not keep me up at night. Most people get on my nerves any way. Its the future I worry about. The stakes are higher. I have a lot to loose.

Talking to my therapist and online in this forum helps I think.

<font color=blue> "History shows again and again how nature puts up the folly of men." </font color=blue>

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Remorse about what that you don't feel, for things you've done to people? That still doesn't make you insane, at least I don't think so and I'm sure alot of people will feel the same way.

I'm glad the forum is helping you as well as your online therapist, it takes to time get over something like depression ect, just take baby steps, you will get over it in time, even if it does not seem that way.


<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[SeptemberMorn]

Exactly what is the "norm"? ...the root word of "normal." If "the norm" is measured like everything else, as in "average," it takes adding up all the components and then dividing by the number of components. (I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right. ) It takes up a range of variants, doesn't it?

I don't think you're insane. Maybe "eccentric"? LOL Hey, I'm eccentric and proud of it! I like being different from the rest. It's a saying but I think there's much truth in sayings; if you were insane, you'd think the rest of the entire world was insane except you. LOL

Sometimes I find myself wondering why I don't feel the need to ask forgiveness of someone or why I don't feel that I've done something wrong even when someone is upset with me, even when there's lots of someones upset with me. Is this a bit of narsissism?) You seem to know when you have done something you shouldn't have done, but maybe it was just a bad choice you made. Insane people don't have any sense of right and wrong.

In any case, I wouldn't worry too much about it unless your T wants to put you away. LOL Maybe thinking twice before you do some of the things you've done in the past would be a good idea. Ask yourself if you would like it done to you. If the answer is "no," then don't do it.

BTW, how are your strawberries doing? ...and how do you grow strawberries in a hotel room?? Obviously, I've missed something, eh? LOL

Take care of YOU.





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Thelema]

Strawberries are doing poorly I'm afraid. Think i over watered them. They are growing in my garden in California. Right now, I am travelling on a business trip.

If I'm to be completely honest, I don't really have any sense of right and wrong in the moral sense. I just do what's right and wrong for me.

These days, I try to stay away from things that could land me in jail. 99% of my actions revolve around keeping myself entertained and making money.

In regard to asking myself if I would like things done to me, it's an interesting idea, but would rule out too many things.

My internal conflicts arise usually when I want to do something to entertain myself, but which is also illegal. Then there is a tough choice.

<font color=blue> "History shows again and again how nature puts up the folly of men." </font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

I still say you have a good sense of right and wrong. Maybe the problem lies within the bounds of self-discipline and/or "temptation." We all have temptations, some of them stronger than others. Some temptations are easier to forgo than others. The internal struggle then is with how strong the temptation is, not whether we know what's right and wrong. We need to go through our own personal check list of consequences when we are tempted to do something we know is wrong or illegal. You seem to have that pretty well honed. "Stay out of jail!" If we hurt someone or their feelings, we can be pretty sure that it will come back to bite us. Do you want to "get bit?" Of course, I'm not of a mind to "turn the other cheek" every time someone "slaps" me, you understand!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>