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-jimi-
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Default Dec 21, 2014 at 01:03 AM
  #21
I think it can be a matter of self defense and an oppositional behavior just to make sure one is not led by someone else. That is fixable.

What I have worse issues with is people who sugarcoat and hide their judgmental attitudes, I have been unfortunate to met those before I came here. Some people are pros at saying mean things with kind words. Those people don't want a healthy approach.

One who is reactive and defends self is not a lost cause in the same way, they can change their reaction pattern because they don't really want to hurt people, they just want to defend themselves and they can find other ways.
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Open Eyes
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Default Dec 21, 2014 at 09:00 AM
  #22
"I will say this. Growing up I had a domineering mother that really did not care for my opinion. I have thought of that often and wonder if part of all of this stems from being my own person and not having to be. Ensured." quote GoneTooLong

It could be your desire to get your opinion in "in spite" of your mothers domination, or, it could also be that she trained you to be like "her". Children are very maleable that way and it is not unusual for a child to observe a parent's behavior pattern and copy it (learn it as a pattern of how to be that becomes a deep subconscious pattern of behavior). That is why the saying came about, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree". Now when I say that I am not implying weakness in you because it isn't your fault that you were basically brainwashed into behavior patterns that you saw your mother present to you repeatedly, not just towards you, but others as well.

So why on earth would you want to keep practicing something deeply learned that is "unhealthy"? The fact that you are questioning the behavior pattern at last is finally opening a door where you can recognize how you developed it and to decide to work on discarding it and actually becoming your own person and not the replica of whatever consistent toxic practice that you learned unknowingly.
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Open Eyes
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Default Dec 21, 2014 at 01:12 PM
  #23
When someone is labeled NPD, what that means is that person has developed their own narcissism in a way that is now unhealthy. That is how your mother was, which is what you unknowingly learned how to develop as well. As I mentioned, it is "ok" to have your own strong opinions and likes and dislikes, but don't be like your mother and punish others for whatever they like or dislike, have or don't have, do or do not do.

Unfortunately, one of the things I have noticed that tends to happen a lot is how people tend to fall into the mindset of all ______'s are bad or wrong somehow and it really doesn't matter if it is a color, class, religion, political preference, culture, or sports team. And one can experience toxic behaviors in "all" groups too, almost like the pot calling the kettle black really. All one has to do is mingle in any "group" and announce their label as being different than the group to experience it. Or, one can say or appear to be the same and and witness it too.

Actually, a lot of experiments have been done with this too, and it's really interesting to see the results and what it really says about "human nature" as a whole.

So, the next time you get the urge to "troll" ask yourself what you are really a "slave" to and if it is actually productive at all or, as I mentioned are you just practicing the same thing your mother taught you to practice.
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Just Jen
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Default Dec 22, 2014 at 06:24 AM
  #24
Do you get pleased when someone gets insulted? That's what make a person a troll. I was called a troll only once. my humor was taken offensively and I quickly apologized I was really out of line. Made me always think twice before I post randomly

Last edited by Just Jen; Dec 22, 2014 at 06:30 AM.. Reason: Spell
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BLUEDOVE
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Default Dec 27, 2014 at 02:23 PM
  #25
I think it is most interesting that you do this behind
the 'safe' door of anonymity where no one can reach
out and grab you. I suspect,in that case,you would
be as quiet as a teensy weensy little . . . mouse.
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