No family and it's problems

I am perplexed at the unusual problems and struggles that having no family brings. I have worries about issues that I shouldn't be worried about if I had one close family member who was still in my life.

I am worried that my death will bring funeral expenses upon my friends. I am worried about getting all the arrangements done and saving up for my funeral when I most probably have 30 more years to live. I am so responsible that I am worried about not leaving any burdens on anyone who is close to me. I have been obsessed with this for some time now. Death is just a part of life. I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of the anguish my friends will have in trying to settle my estate. All I can think of is the stress that they will feel not knowing what to do. I am not feeling sorry for myself as this is a practical thing that has to be dealt with. I have a Will and an executor who is a friend. Right now I do not have enough money saved up to cover my funeral expenses and this is bothering the heck out of me. I have no property to sell and I have debt.

Does anyone else out there also have no family who they can depend on for issues like this?

((((sideblinded))))

I've never wanted anyone to have to worry about me. Perhaps I was a little unusual in writing a will by age 16 (even though I had nothing, really). My point is that I can understand how difficult it can be at times to get thoughts of the End out of one's mind.

Friends really don't have to step in for you, unless you leave instructions to do so in your Will. Personally, I would much rather have what few friends I have deciding where my things should go. I've told everyone that I want to be cremated ~ don't bury me & take up space! I've also written a half-arse Will explaining who should benefit from my ___. Let ___ go to ___ charities.

That has relieved a lot of stress for me. I never worry about it at all anymore, as a matter of fact. Very best wishes to you!

So sorry you are stressing, I do that too about that subject but keep pushing it out of my mind. It's too awful and depressing for me right now. Best of luck to you.

why are you thinking about death friend?? you have life just live it, help needy peoples, children that will definitely bring happiness and another aspect of life. dont think about death... just live

think positive and think about the other aspects of life.

hi! i just want to say that why are you talking about death? when you are living, please just live in today and leave all the problems, you dont know what is going to be happen after death!! you know what is going on that just live in that moment and dont worry about after life.

((((((((( hugs ))))))))))

Its just me in my boys, sadly mental illness has divided or taken the rest of my family. I worry constantly that something will happen and my boys will have to make decisions they shouldn't have to, or yes be responsible for my messy life. I work a lot and have a savings and insurance but the worries never go away.

I really feel that this situation is daunting. Having no family is an oddity. There are many of us who don't have family but how many people who have family can even grasp what it is like to have no family member come to your funeral much less arrange it. It is perplexing to me.

I should not obsess over it but it is something that I have to deal with.

Thank you for responding.

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I defenetly feel your obsession and worry.i know its not easy after 40 years of obsessive compulsive personality disorder.ocd,and other,,,i wonder if u are generally at peace with yourself? I never say happy.happy comes and goes.but being at peace is a common outlook.on life.my advice would be to talk to your dr or closest friends and sort out the thoughts,i know i have alot of "magical thinking" i project alot.i think people are looking at me a lot etc but if u are ok with your life now and at peace i wouldent worry! I know easier said than done.are you healthy?this obsession is a hard one cause their is really no right answer,,thats my problem! I go over and over with issues that have no answer,as this one is, please dont worry about it!! Its far from selfish it really is..if u are a good person have good friends and hekpful towards others it will fall into place i know it will...and u will be in another dimension and their are several oranizations that can help//please think about living

Yes. I get this. What little family I have rarely bothers with me. I want to be cremated. I own nothing of much value. As I understand it, if a person dies, and no one cares what is done, the county will cremate. Not trying to be gloomy. This is just a practical matter.

On a practical level have you checked around for funeral insurance? There are places in Australia so I assume they would be around in the US. You can contact a company for funeral insurance and pay a small amount each week to cover the costs of the funeral.

Many things will happen along the way in your life so you never know what will or wont happen but doing this may help ease your anxiety.

Dearest blue eyed girl-

Perhaps you can decide to only worry about this one day a week. If it pops up in your mind , just say,okay-I'll put that away until Tuesday. Sounds sily, but I do it and it works.

As one who worked in the funeral industry, I know that buying pre-need is the biggest rip off going. They will keep coming up with things you need beside the basics and your payments will keep escalating.

I would say go with the Alex Trebeck thing. It doesn't cost much and might provide you with some peace. And honestly-and I hope this isn't too gross-the same thing happens to a body in a hundred dolar casket as in a ten thousand dollar casket.

At 63, I rarely worry about death anymore-it has taken up far too much of my time as it is. I have my own view of the spiritual world and believe I have shown more kindness in my life than I could have. Not that I do not carry guilt for those I have hurt. But I am like you-officially kicked out of the family at 18, never to be connected again.

The things I treasure, my books and boxes of writing, and other little things that bring me joy-let whoever have them. I will have no need for them. My ticket to my next station is already carved on my heart and that is all I need.

You are lucky to have friends. Since my husbands death I have been alone and I am fine with that. I like my freedom to do my work when I wish, freedom from abuse and constant stress.

So please stop worrying about this until Tueday. I will remind you should you forget.

You are not alone in having no family. I'm the last living member of my family. I some times worry about the same thing as you. Have you looked into prepaid arrangements? Some places will let you pay a bit at a time until the cost is covered. It also allows you to buy the service at today's prices.

I've been meaning to get life insurance too (even a small policy will help). I doubt anyone will be available to give me a funeral, so I suspect I'll just be picked up by the county like a bundle of trash.