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  #1  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 09:28 AM
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Rio_ Rio_ is offline
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...but I can't think what else to do, I can't keep it to myself any more, but I can't tell anyone in real life either, I'm too ashamed. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... So here goes...

Yesterday, when I was having a driving practice with my dad (I've been learning to drive since November), I ran a red light. Only by about half a second - I saw it going to amber but there was a car behind me and I thought I was going too fast and wouldn't be able to stop (looking back, I probably would have been able to - I just wasn't thinking straight), so I went straight through, only it turned to red just before I got there. Dad tried telling me that it wasn't a big deal (probably so I'd concentrate on getting us both home - I was practically panicking), but I didn't believe him so I looked it up when I got home...it's illegal!! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... I broke the law I can't believe it I'm scared I don't want to be a criminal I don't want to lose my licence before I've even got a proper one but it's my fault all my fault I'd deserve it if I did stupid stupid stupid...I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

People who run red lights cause accidents it could have been really dangerous I feel terrible I should feel terrible I'm a %#@&#! disgrace...I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...


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  #2  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 10:05 AM
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silver_queen silver_queen is offline
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(((((((((((((( Rio )))))))))))))))

I'm sure you did the right thing. If you saw it going amber and it just turned to red as you went through, that's fine. You said there was a car behind you - there's no point in doing an emergency stop and making the car behind you crash into you! (Though that would technically be his fault anyway - he should have enough space behind you to stop, but stil...). If you're really close to the lights when they turn to red, it's far better just to go through when they're on red. Slamming the brakes on to make a red light isn't really great. Besides, the other sets of lights always have a slight time delay on them to give people chance to get through if they have to. Your dad didn't make a fuss about it, and he must have been driving for a while... just try not to do it when you take your test! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
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  #3  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 10:56 AM
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Rio, please don’t beat yourself up about it. You didn’t do it on purpose…

It is actually quite hard to gauge when that damn light will change, you know. Some believe that it is a mistake only beginners make but you’d be surprised how many long-term drivers find this a difficult decision: do I brake? Will that damn thing change? Will I have time to pass the lights? Etc.

I know it probably doesn’t help as you feel bad about it. But please believe that it is an easy ‘mistake’ to make. And that is *all* it is, a mistake….

Last but not least, you are most certainly *not* a disgrace or stupid! It *is* an easy mistake to make. And with practice, you’ll see it will become easier!

Please, don’t let this put you off ‘k?

Big hugs to you! (((( Rio ))))
  #4  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 11:25 AM
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Rio, please don't beat yourself up over this...after I taught my daughter to drive 3 years ago, and she got her license, we were driving through a street in town that had a stop sign...I thought she would stop and she didn't, she drove through it without stopping and went straight through the 4 way street...I kept my calm and told her and she totally panicked and pulled to the side of the road...she said she was a failure(even though she was/is a great driver) and wanted me to continue on..I told her no and she kept driving...and she did get over it once she kept driving...but she told me that she will never go through a stop sign again, and in the last 3 years she hasn't...these things happen to new drivers, and even to experienced ones who have been driven for years...you made an error..take gentle care...
  #5  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 11:36 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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I agree with the others, please don't beat yourself up over this! ((((((((((((((( Rio ))))))))))))))) I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
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  #6  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 12:45 PM
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Raynaadi Raynaadi is offline
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Oh ((( Rio ))) That IS scary!!! Your dad handled the situation perfectly, and so did you!! Look at you checking your mirror and knowing there was a car behind you. That is a very delicate situation. I've been driving for 12 years now, and I still run into that exact situation. The brain has to think soooo quickly - the light is changing, there's a car behind me aaah what do to what to do, brain connects with foot and tells it brake or gas ---- its such a split second decision that its almost impossible to do it correctly every time. I still do it, after 12 years. I've probably broken the law on this countless times!!! If a cop were to see that, he/she would look at the whole pictures. They would see the car behind you and understand why you went. You didn't run the light because you didn't want to stop; you went through so you wouldn't get rear-ended. There's a difference there.

Learning to drive is very stressful and very hard. There's so much to learn, so many factors to consider. It sounds like your dad is being a very good teacher! I had to learn how to drive a stick for the first time about a year ago. It was like learning to drive all over again. Now I love it, but its stressful at first.

Don't beat yourself up over it, and get back on that horse! You're doing fine!

*Congrats* and passing into driving-hood. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

~Rayna
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  #7  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 02:02 PM
TYMBERWOLV TYMBERWOLV is offline
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Rio,

I have been in the insurance industry for many of years. What you did is very typical and you are allowed to proceed thru an intersection on a yellow as long as your rear wheels are in the start of the intersection before it turns red meaning --- the line where the curb is at on both sides of the street ( this is the intersection ) And yes you are correct saying that red light runners kill but on the same note you didn't run a red light you entered on a yellow that turned red ....

Take it easy on yourself you are young and us older drivers do the samething tooo in your case

Take Care

Tymber

Peace OUT
  #8  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 02:58 PM
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((((((silver_queen)))))) Thanks. Thing is, though, the car wasn't close behind me, and it would have seen the lights as well - looking back, I'm sure I would have time to stop, even if it might have been a bit of a close thing. And I've felt like a terrible driver practically since I started learning (makes sense at first, but I've had 20 lessons, I shouldn't still keep stalling...) and now it feels like I've blown any chance I have of ever considering myself to be a good one. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... That's good about the time delay, though, I wasn't sure if there was one. (Although I know here (UK) the lights go to red and amber at the same time before going to green to give people warning before they have to move off - it's very useful!) And don't worry, I definitely won't be doing it again if I can help it!
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  #9  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 03:06 PM
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((((((Always)))))) Thanks. I didn't do it on purpose at all - I wasn't thinking, I didn' t have a clue what to do! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... I don't like stopping the car if I can help it, though, because I still stall sometimes when I'm moving off, so that might have been why I kept going. My instructor's car has dual controls, so if I'd been with him he probably would have stopped me - the car I go in with dad doesn't.

Thanks. I hope it does get easier - before I started learning to drive I was looking forward to it so much, but I find the lessons really difficult most of the time and I don't look forward to them at all any more. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

I really hope it's not going to put me off...but then, I managed to go back out after stalling four times at the same roundabout a while back, so after that I can hopefully cope with most driving disasters. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #10  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 03:10 PM
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Thanks, climbingkit. I'm glad I'm not the only one to do something like that, and that's good your daughter managed to recover!
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #11  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 03:11 PM
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((((((Fuzzybear)))))) Thanks. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #12  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 03:21 PM
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(((((((Raynaadi)))))) Thanks. It was scary, I wish I'd stopped. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... Thanks, but like I said before further up the thread, the car wasn't that close - I probably would have time to stop. That's good any police officer would look at the whole picture...nobody's ever told me about learner drivers and the law, actually, is it the learner's fault entirely or also the person with them?

It is hard - as I've complained to my instructor before, you need about 6 pairs of eyes to see everything you're supposed to be looking out for! And fast reactions, and the ability to think quickly and come to the right decision, and the ability to know what drivers around you are likely to do next and you have to allow for any mistakes they make...I don't know how anyone can do it. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... Dad isn't my teacher - I have a driving instructor - but we got a small car recently that I can go out to practice in with dad between lessons. The instructor's said that he thinks it's helping, but then he sends me on harder routes...

Thanks again.
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #13  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 03:24 PM
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Rio_ Rio_ is offline
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Thanks, Tymberwolv. That's good you're allowed to go through as long as the light was amber when you got into the intersection....in this case, though, the light had been red by about half a second by the time I got there. I should have stopped, I would have had time, but I didn't. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

Thanks again.
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #14  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 04:11 PM
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AlteredState01 AlteredState01 is offline
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Wow, can you ever beat the crap out of yourself, Rio! Try not to be so hard on yourself, ok?

I would have done exactly what you did. Sometimes, you have to make that decision, especially when speed is an issue. Going with your gut was a good thing in this instant. If you thought you were going to fast to stop, you probably were!

Anyway, YOU LIVED to tell us about it!!!

I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
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  #15  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 04:38 PM
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((((((((((((((((((rio))))))))))))))))))))

crank up duran duran with me and you'll feel better hon

love junny xoxoxoxoxoxo
  #16  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 04:43 PM
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SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
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{{{Rio}}} You've never watched Star Man, have you? I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... He said it himself! "Red means Stop, Green means Go and Yellow means GO FASTER!" I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

Don't beat yourself up about it! There are seasoned drivers that really go by that unwritten rule! In fact, they'll purposely run red lights!

If you thought you were going too fast to stop, then you probably were. What happened is so much better than if you had stopped and had the car behind you climb your butt! Think of it that way and see if you don't feel better. Oh! And one must always listen to what Daddy says! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

Take it easy on yourself! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
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  #17  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 05:43 PM
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sabby sabby is offline
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Awww Sweety...it's a LEARNING experience! You are not the first nor will be the last to have this happen to you. The whole idea of you being on the road with your dad is to LEARN how to drive. Don't we all make mistakes when we are learning things? You did fine....believe me...just fine!

The important thing is that you know what you did, you were trying to do things right. It wasn't as if you were joyriding and blowing red lights for fun.

I wish you well on your learning experience and getting your license....go gettem tiger!

Hugsssss
J
  #18  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 06:12 PM
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Yes, Rio, it happens (sometimes quite a lot). I make a difference between when someone goes through because they're "selfish" and in a hurry and when they do it like you; because it might not be safe to stop. I don't know if you've noticed, but even when your light turns red, the other side often has a slight delay/hesitation before it turns green (probably to make sure that those running the light DON'T cause an accident. I take comfort too in realizing that I may be making a mistake but the other people usually are paying attention and see I'm going too fast or might be going through the light, etc. and don't "come out" (and don't forget, they have to come out pretty far from the right before they hit you and the ones on the left are "above" you so both of you have a bit of an opportunity to avoid one another.
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  #19  
Old Mar 29, 2007, 07:20 PM
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Wants2Fly Wants2Fly is offline
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sabau2 said:
Awww Sweety...it's a LEARNING experience! You are not the first nor will be the last to have this happen to you. The whole idea of you being on the road with your dad is to LEARN how to drive. Don't we all make mistakes when we are learning things? You did fine....believe me...just fine!

The important thing is that you know what you did, you were trying to do things right. It wasn't as if you were joyriding and blowing red lights for fun.

I wish you well on your learning experience and getting your license....go gettem tiger!

Hugsssss
J

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

What Sabau wrote. Also, try cranking up the tunes.
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I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
  #20  
Old Mar 30, 2007, 05:42 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rio_ said:
((((((silver_queen)))))) Thanks. Thing is, though, the car wasn't close behind me, and it would have seen the lights as well - looking back, I'm sure I would have time to stop, even if it might have been a bit of a close thing. And I've felt like a terrible driver practically since I started learning (makes sense at first, but I've had 20 lessons, I shouldn't still keep stalling...) and now it feels like I've blown any chance I have of ever considering myself to be a good one. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... That's good about the time delay, though, I wasn't sure if there was one. (Although I know here (UK) the lights go to red and amber at the same time before going to green to give people warning before they have to move off - it's very useful!) And don't worry, I definitely won't be doing it again if I can help it!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

((((((((((((( Rio )))))))))))))))

20 lessons is hardly anything when learning to drive a car! I know that your friends who have driving instructors are taught in a certain number of lessons, but just because they're shoved through the course doesn't mean they're good drivers! I too learned to drive through my dad. I hated it because he tended to yell at me when I got things wrong, and I never drive now unless I really *have* to - but I was learning for over a year! It wasn't a once-a week lesson either - nearer to my test, I had to go out driving every night. (And I failed my first driving test, and re-took it a few months later, and I passed). What kind of driving are you doing? When I first started, I was driving on isolated industrial estates. In one of my first lessons, my dad asked to me reverse up a short hill - I couldn't do it lol, and burst out crying - how embarrassing! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... I started though just driving along straight areas and changing from first, to second, to third, etc. I think many learner drivers start off on the road though. It might have taken me a while to learn to drive, but I passed my test three years ago and I have never crashed yet, whereas my friend, when she had just recently passed her test, was driving us back to her house, and she hit the side of the car on the low stone wall outside of her house. They all heard it inside and came running out, and it wrecked the front wheel and the suspension. Her parents weren't very happy with her, lol (it was their car). So basically you shouldn't count how good you are in the number of lessons - take as long as you need, if you've got the time. Oh, and don't worry about stalling. Loads of people do it. Just this week I saw somebody stall at the traffic lights. Just because you're at 20 lessons doesn't mean you *shouldn't* stall. Give it time, and you'll get used to it.
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  #21  
Old Mar 30, 2007, 10:51 AM
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Soidhonia Soidhonia is offline
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Hello RIO.
I frankly think if there were more conscientious and courteous drivers like yourself, the roads would be a lot safer. Wisdom can come and be of use at any age. Take care and try to stop being so hard on yourself for making the RIGHT decision
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  #22  
Old Mar 31, 2007, 03:52 PM
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Thanks, AlteredState. Easier said than done, unfortunately! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... Dad's told me before that it's tedious, but it's kind of automatic...

Thanks, I hope you're right. I can't remember how fast I was going, but it can't have been much slower than 30mph, and I haven't learnt how to do emergency stops yet. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... I'm not sure when I will.

That's true! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... And I survived my driving lesson today, which was a relief.
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #23  
Old Mar 31, 2007, 03:54 PM
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((((((jinnyann)))))) Thanks. I managed to find "Astronaut" today! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... I haven't heard much from that album, but I love "What Happens Tomorrow" and "Nice".
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #24  
Old Mar 31, 2007, 03:59 PM
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((((((SeptemberMorn)))))) Thanks. I've never heard of Star Man! I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... I've seen drivers here that seem to go by that rule, though. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this... Although my dad ended up with a speeding ticket for doing it once, so I'm not sure if it's such a good idea...

Thanks. The car wasn't that close behind, though, and it must have seen the lights as well...still, I guess I can't be sure of that. And the one good thing that's come out of this is that now I'm making sure to check around first before moving off at the lights, to make sure people have actually stopped! Good point. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...

Thanks again. I am feeling a bit better about it now, especially as my lesson today went ok. I'm sure I shouldn't be admitting this...
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Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...

  #25  
Old Mar 31, 2007, 04:01 PM
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Thanks, sabau. That's true...unfortunately, the best way to learn is through making mistakes!

That's a good point. There have been times with my instructor that I've done something wrong and had absolutely no idea until he pointed it out...at least I realised this time!

Thanks!
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