[ForeverLonelyGirl]

During the 2 years I've been going through benzo withdrawal, terrible things keep happening. The month after I went cold turkey my mom became terminally ill, fell and broke her hip and then died within 5 months. All of course during my acute phase of withdrawal. That whole series of events just seemed nightmarish and not real. I have barely accepted her death or mourned her because of my brain being so screwed up.

Now that it is almost 2 years to the date, I am coping somewhat better, although I obsess over everyone and everything in life. Now, there is even worse news. My son that is in his 30's and has just been diagnosed with myasthenia gravis. Which is a rare autoimmune disorder that has started with causing such severe vision problems and a drooping eye lid that he cannot drive or work at the moment. It is a muscle weakness that can progress fairly quickly to causing severe muscle weakness all over and interfere with breathing! So within 3 years it can cause death unless you get very expensive immune globulins, immunosuppressant drugs. Plus hospital time. He will not handle this well emotionally, he has no wife or significant other. The last few days he seems very depressed.

This is obviously devastating to me and I can hardly seriously think about the implications. Being the train wreck that I think I am, how am I going to support him. I am trying very hard to be positive and upbeat with him.

This is just all too much, and it is hard to think that I am NOT just cursed. To go through the hell of withdrawal and hope for a better life and at the same time lose my mom and now possibly my son. I don't know...

[jaynedough]

ForeverLonelyGirl,
I'm sorry things have been going poorly for you and your family. I don't think you're cursed, even though it feels that way. I frequently feel like I'm a curse to those around me. The sad truth is that bad things happen. It's not your fault.

In case you haven't run across these 2 websites, the first one is National Organization for Rare Disorders. I know that a long while back, they offered "scholarships" to help pay for IgG. IDK if they still do, but at any rate, they're a great resource. The link is: Welcome to NORD ? National Organization for Rare Disorders . The second is the Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America. Home

I know there are forums here that can help you navigate your way through this dark period. There's a whole seperate area for neurological issues. Finding a support group for family of people with MG would probably help you. Also, if you're not seeing a T or PDoc, you may want to find one.

I know that you're hurting,. I'm so sorry. You have survived an awful time already, so you do have strength inside you. I'm sending a very tight bear hug to you. Please take care of yourself.

[saw_q]

yup.. we understand. but i don't want to comment alot. The thing is "be positive at any how" ~ john Cena said.. hehe take care.. sis.

I know how it feels, as if you're being picked on. Kinda like you're an ant and "fate" or "God" are being the kid with a magnifying glass. I hope you find a way to cope or possibly have a therapist to help you get through. I also hope that your son, having gotten such a diagnosis, also sees a therapist to help him come to terms and work through his challenges. Love and light

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

I just read more about the disease my son has last night and it hit me hard. Pretty much the first 3 years can result in intensive care hospital stays, respirators and possibly death. If you make it through the first 3 years then things sort of level out.

I just keep crying. Now I need to tell my younger son. I don't have a therapist and unfortunately my son that is sick will not see one unless he changes his mind. I do plan to try to find one, although that process is rough.

One day at a time I guess.