[misschristianmt]

Hi all!! This is my first post and have a question. For years, I have wanted to be diagnosed with a deadly disease that I know will kill me. Is there a name for that? I asked others and they said hypochondria, but I said no, it is not that I THINK I have something, it is that I WANT something....big difference IMO. Anyway, I appreciate any info!!

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central (PC). I am sorry you are hoping for an exit from life, but life has many lessons for us and isn't always easy.

There are many forums here on PC
forums.psychcentral.com

Many articles on PC too
Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information.

[jelly-bean]

Welcome to PC misschristianmt! I am glad you joined us. I wish I could help you with your question but I honestly have never heard of someone wanting a terminal illness, Do you have a doctor or a therapist that you can talk this over with? There is a lot of information here so maybe you will find some information here that will help you. You might want to start posting in the depression forum. The members there may be able to help you. You can also try the forums for psychosis. After your first five posts have been approved you can post in any forum or join the social groups or chats if you like. Good Luck to you.

[jaynedough]

Hi Misschristianmt & welcome to PC.

I used to feel that way. I felt like I deserved a painful, prolonged death. My brother died of cancer when we were little. I guess that's where the cancer idea came from.

[misschristianmt]

Hi all!! Thank you so much for the warm welcome!! I am so sorry for your loss, Jayne Dough!! I do not think I deserve anything painful, just want it to end without doing it myself (am too chicken I guess). Thank you, too, Candc and jelly-bean!! I am going to research those awesome links!

[amandalouise]

misschristianmt what mental disorders and symptoms are called depends upon many different things like location, reason why a person wants to die of a deadly disease/disorder...

examples of what this ...could be called.....here where I live and work....

suicidal
psychosis
hyperchondria
depression,
munchousen

my point it can be any number of mental and physical health problems. my suggestion if you really want to know why you want to die of a deadly disease or mental disorder you will need to contact a treatment provider (medical doctor, psychiatrist, therapist) they will be able to work with you to discover what this is. I do not recommend trying to self diagnose because what if you really do have a serious problem and you end up self diagnosing it as something not serious or vice versa ...you could end up doing your self more harm then good. plsease contact a treatment provider to help you with this.

Hi Miss C. I have had that wish - for me, it's a part of feeling suicidal. Usually after I have that wish, though, then I start thinking about how unpleasant a long illness would be.

Does your desire cause you guilt or anxiety?

I found some similar stories by people at The Experience Project if you want to read them. I Wish I Had A Terminal Disease : I Am Not Suicidal, But I'd Rather Be Dead Story & Experience

[-jimi-]

Yea, you are right it is not hypochondria which today is more seen as health phobia/anxiety. People who have it do not want to be ill, they are actually very afraid they might be.