[MistressTwist]

So, if you've read my previous posts about living with a stranger in the house.

Nothing has come of me asking to get to know her, she's also now got a "perfect" out from socialising. Her mum has skin cancer, and she's being tested on Saturday to find out what stage its in. Firstly, Saturday? That has put me on edge as I am 98% sure they don't book tests for weekends? Please chime in if I'm wrong!!

Told my T everything today, and got told that just because there is a stranger around (which I need to accept) who has lied doesn't mean I'll get hurt.

But that's what I learned as a child, my house was always full of drunk/coked up pill heads. I had thrives live in my childhood home and been beaten for lying about stealing money I didn't steal, random men walking into my bedroom (I always screamed at them to get out) I've had "friends" lie to me about psychological issues they don't really have, and I've had people tell me they want to destroy everything I have when I'm already rock bottom.

I really don't know where this fits in, or if anyone can even offer advice? I feel so stuck and want to be able to let go of past pain, and more than anything I want to be proven wrong about this girl, but alarm bells are ringing and I'm hardly ever wrong.

Hi I haven't read past posts but what you've said here makes sense. Unless its a special clinic, most doctor offices are only m-f. Fridays are closed here, even. I had to go to the actual office to get tested and outpatient surgery for my cancer. To be tested I doubt Saturday but surgeries at hospitals could be weekend i suppose..

[striking]

You can let go of your past pain but you must be willing to do so. That's a hard step when pain, abuse, fear, disappointment and neglect is all you may know. You can do it though. If you have not asked your T yet, ask how they can help you do so. Also seek out articles with exercises that may help you recover and discuss your results with your T.

[jaynedough]

Hi MistressTwist. I'm sorry you've got so much anxiety right now. I don't have much to add except on the Saturday doctor's appointment. I've worked in doctor's offices and most did have Saturday hours to accommodate people who either work during the week or who relies on someone who works during the week to provide transportation and/or emotional support. My dad had skin cancers and all his biopsies were done in the doctor's office. The local outpatient surgical center is also open on Saturdays.

I hope this info helps you. I'm not trying to say that she's definitely not lying, rather that it's possible that your roommate's story *may not* be a lie. I hope for you that your roomie doesn't lie to you. I hope for your roomie's mom that she did lie.

Sending you hugs.

[MistressTwist]

Thank you for all the comments, JayneDough that actually helps me feel a bit better. And I feel the exact same conflicted way.

Striking, I do that already, but its hard. I have a soft toy from a friend that's attached to a handbag that I stroke when I'm anxious outside my home, I even get homework. Its just hard for me to do it all because most of the stuff I'm given is for people with anxiety or depression without a background that caused it. Eg: why do you think you get these thoughts? Me; I was told them. Over and over.

Haven't heard any new info on her mum, and have been feeling a bit better for the last few days, but this may be due to another friend moving in. He was about to become homeless otherwise.

[MistressTwist]

Ha! Just realised how silly I sound, 29 with a teddy for comfort! But the advice was to carry something given when you weren't being abused.

[striking]

Search for Jonice Webb. Talk about your findings with your T and perhaps decide if working together on her book will be helpful.

Silly? Nah. I use the voice of Dug, the character from the movie Up to counter my critical voice. Yes I do that voice very well.

Originally Posted by MistressTwist

Ha! Just realised how silly I sound, 29 with a teddy for comfort! But the advice was to carry something given when you weren't being abused.

that's far from silly

if it brings you comfort, it brings you comfort.

i too like teddybears and cuddly animals