Experience of being bullied?

I think I'm over it now. I've had worse things happen in my life.

Thank you for asking

i was a complete freak in school, especially middle school (i would compare myself at the time with the "breakfast club"s "basket case" girl) i am still haunted by my middle school years. and i am still a freak too. lol only now it is worse because now i have thought broadcasting, so i don't just Look like a freak am also aware that I Am a freak even on the inside! lol (that sounds cold blooded, but i have major guilt about who i am and also have intrusive thoughts about other people so i think i have earned the right to call myself a freak )

Great topic. I'm in my forties now and just starting to process the collateral damage - the lack of normal socialization. Bullies at school and a violent narcissist mother at home. I have no good memories. No parties, no dates, no good times to look back on. How I wish I could have experienced just one girl dress up for an evening with me. Almost feels like amnesia.

funny that you call it amnesia. because with all the the trauma i have been through i feel like my life was never real. almost like a movie. and i also tend to feel half alive.

Did you ever hear of a bully for a T? Mine was. Can you believe someone over 50 being a bully?

I totally agree with this. I am 62 & there wasn't the bullying in those days like there is now....but schools were different them, the teachers had authority over the class, they had the ability to teach moral values & they didn't have their hands tied when bad things happened like they do now. People have become heartless as they themselves have been hurt in ways that they end up striking out with their bullying.....IT"S wrong but no one has taught them different & it definitely isn't taught in the homes any more how to respect others or even care for others.

I remember having a boy in my grade school class who had failed 3 years of school.....had no idea what was really wrong with him but he definitely had a learning disability. The kids in the class didn't necessarily make friends with him because he wasn't into making friends with those in the class but they also didn't bully him or make fun of him either......now that is one kid if there was going to be bullying would have been bullied & it just didn't happen. There was a lot more respect for people's feelings back in those days......says a lot for how society has changed.....they think they have progressed so much by getting rid of everything that existed back in those days & look where it has brought them.....yes, lots of progress.

I was a smart kid, but very shy, & very quiet because I was afraid to say anything for fear I would sound as stupid as I felt my father sounded when he talked to people. I kept my thoughts & feelings definitely inside....but everyone was kind to me. I did my thing in school & was involved in the orchestra from the time I was in 3rd grade. I was very athletic for what athletics girls were allowed to be involved back in those days...LOL....no baseball teams or football & even if there had been my mother didn't drive so I couldn't have been involved in anything that I couldn't walk to anyway. So even with not being able to be involved in things the other kids were involved & everyone accepted me. Teachers liked me & treated me great. I remember always getting the good grades but there was a group of us kids that all got good grades together & we stuck together.

I also remember that when anyone ever said comments about someone behind their back, I would always be the one that stuck up for them. I would stick up for any animal I saw being abused to the point where I actually put my life between them & the person who was abusing them.

When we were first married, my H started using sarcasm to put me down thinking he was being funny, I threw it back at him for a short while but hated the way it made me feel so I put a stop to that by telling him he could either stop or get the hell out of my life. It took over a year of constantly reminding him before he broke that habit......don't even know what started it but guess he thought his IQ was so high & Don Rickles was big at the time so he thought it was funny. But he was never good at knowing what socially acceptable things were. It irritated me because I was in the university getting my degree & I had a better GPA than he ever had because he had an attitude problem that got in his way of his success (I have later found out more of the reasons behind his behaviors after I finally left him).

When our daughter was in school & not sure why she ended up in a situation with this other girl, & the teacher wouldn't do anything about it....I tried to let her resolve it herself to start with....but when it got worse.....MOM stepped in to take control of the situation & get it resolved. I wasn't about to allow my daughter to be put into situations where she was being disrespected.....also stuck up for her in school after she went through a lot of changes & move & had just lost her grandpa to heart failure.....she was really happy in her new class & all of a sudden they were going to change teachers & class & I thought....NO, they aren't going to put my daughter through another change to deal with. Initially they told me there wasn't anything that could be done....I never took NO for an answer when I knew it was wrong so I went to the principal & spelled out all the reasons WHY they shouldn't be moving my daughter to the other class. I won the battle & so did my daughter & she had a really good semester & adapted to her new school really well.

Lots of parents play the excuse that they have a career to hold down & don't have time...but I was a firmware design engineer & I worked sometimes 60-70 hour weeks but I always had time to hear my daughter & to stick up for what her needs were even with the demands of my career. I always made sure my daughter didn't fall between the cracks mostly because I had a mother that had no idea how to stick up for herself let alone stick up for anyone else so I had to learn from the beginning of my life to stick up for myself & I was lucky to grow up at the time I did because there was a lot more respect for others than there is now even though people talk big about respect, the actions don't reflect what they say many times & parents are so self absorbed that they don't even see what their kids are doing so much of the time let alone being in touch with their needs.

Many times those bullies come from abusive homes & that's what they have learned from their parents....you can tell someone not to be a bully but unless you teach them what the appropriate behavior is & continually reinforce the right behavior....they just go home & have the bully behavior reinforced there.......where to they LEARN what the appropriate behavior REALLY is....just telling someone not to act the way they are acting isn't teaching them what the right behavior actually is. The behavior should NEVER be justifies....but there needs to be more work done on teaching those people who are bullies what appropriate behavior is really like.....it's just like dealing with my H & his sarcasm......unless I had continually been on him for that year & continually reminded him every time he did it & corrected his behavior, he would have NEVER learned by someone telling him not to do it if he was never taught what the right behavior really was.

eskielover: your a strong person and a strong mother

At the age of 42, I've been bullied my whole life. From being the skinny, ugly kid at school to having my job threatened seemingly perpetually. That's why I became a fighter when I was younger. Bullying is a part of life that shouldn't be, but it's there. Always there.

I was bullied a lot growing up and still am by ex-friends on FB. We moved every few years so I was always the new kid and strange. I was molested for two years. We moved and a new molester took over. I was a target waiting to happen. When kids got caught bullying me in junior high school we all got corporal punishment. I was even pulled half-way down a flight of stairs.

There are a lot of grown-up bullies these days too. I live in a metropolitan area and people will force you out of the lane just so they don't miss their turn coming up. It wasn't a problem when I had a full size pickup but the gas mileage made me glad when it burned up in my driveway.

I have been bullied on many jobs. I continue to be bullied through negative references - which are not deserved - that prevent me from being employed. That's what happens when you work for sociopaths. I developed C-PTSD. I would like to seek revenge but can't - I'm too decent a person. I don't know what to do. My experience is that getting mad at the bullies or trying to get even are just losing actions. I guess that I am just a loser. Life is terrible.

Webgoji: I'm sorry for your experience/for being bullied. Best thing we can all do is learn coping mechanisms to prevent bullying from harming us emotionally, mentally, etc.

Chuck2: I'm upset/unhappy that you were pulled half-way down a flight of stairs. That's just unacceptable, just like any form of bullying is, no matter how short or long it is

unguy: I'm sorry bro, I too have problems about revenge, anger, etc but we both know that it is not the right way. Peace and kindness is the right path. Those people who bully others, they will hopefully get what they deserve. I hope karma exists

Unguy, I can relate. Part of the reason I can't work is from the way the higher managers and other employees treated me. I even managed to tick off a boss so bad he refused to admit to perspective employers that I even worked there so I had two years I couldn't account for in my work history. I screwed-up and asked him not to come in drunk anymore. Not a good idea.

I was never bullied as a child even though I was extremely tall, embarrassingly fat, and all around not attractive. However, now I've overcome a lot of that as an adult, but I am bullied mercilessly at work and by my peers. I can't figure it out.
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i was bullied, but i told myself every time i'm the better person for it because i would never do that to anyone and i am sort of glad i was bullied so i can relate to people who were bullied. for some reason red heads are bullied and i was one, now i'm grey, but i never understood why redheads were bullied especially when many of my good friends said i had he most beautiful hair color there is. probably appeasing me?

i've been bullied all my life. i think that is why i avoid people and social situations. and then i wonder why i have no friends lol. i cringe at the thought of my daughters starting school and the thought of them being bullied. i hope it doesn't happen to them but it makes me very nervous.

Bullies are excruciatingly insecure. They should be pitied. Mentally healthy people have no need to treat anyone abusively.

Not a day goes by that my husband and I are not bullied by his sisters.

Gosh, i'm sooo sorry to hear about this. Doesn't other family members defend you guys? You both should stand up to the sisters.

That's not fair on you. I wish I was there to defend you and help you. Can't you complain to your boss about the bullying at work?

I feel like there is a sort of stigma towards people with red hair. It's stupid and silly. I'm sorry for what you went through.

Gosh, again i'm sorry that you experienced such hurt. I really hope your daughters don't go through any bullying. At schools, there should be a system in place to deal with bullying.

I was bullied mostly at home. But I was also 200lbs and I'm petite. Students didn't make fun of me, but teachers did. I put my foot down at home; that I have boundaries that can't be crossed. My insecurities still show at the workplace so many still take advantage of that. Bullies are so miserable. My goal is to raise my child with encouragement and honesty, my mom raised me to feel shame in everything

The schools around here have gotten tougher on bullying. Lots of kids have been suspended for name calling . Thanks for letting me share

Hello Jan, glad your able to open up and share. I'm glad that the schools in your area have gotten tougher, that's really good. Just wish society would toughen up also.

People and the world, it's all strange at times because the bully hurts you but then if you stand up or even strike back, then the bully gets upset/angry/etc. So perhaps your doomed if you don't stand up or your doomed if you do stand up because then the bullies and people sympathetic to bullying get mad at you. I don't know i'm just ranting about the double standard human beings can have.

Without writing the longest post in the history of PC, I'll just say that I have experienced bullying simply because I'm gay.

I was an awkward girl with a huge hearing aid and the only deaf student in our school. in grade school I beat the bullies up, I couldn't stand to stand by and watch, human or animal get kicked around. In 3rd grade a 6th grader was picking on my friend so I whipped him, he didn't pick on anyone else for the rest of the year. I wasn't big but I was strong from my horse.

In middle school there was one girl who tried to bully me, and many others. I would stare her down and come between anyone she tried to bully, she carried a knife and implied she would use it, pushed people, tripped them, shoved books and verbally intimidated most people. I channeled Mr Spock, I wouldn't let her see any emotion. Until one day in art class she wanted a file I was using and was trying to use physical means of getting it. I asked her if she really wanted it. She said yes so I gave it to her, right on the back of her hand. When the teacher called me on it I exploded telling him and all the other teachers had no right to say anything because they all knew she bullied many students and they did nothing to stop her. She was never a problem after that.

I still can't stand bullies or parents who hit their kids. If I see it I call them on it. Odd given that I no longer stand up for myself.

there is no reason why anyone should bully another-never ever

Kindness: I'm soo sorry that you was bullied because you are gay. That is stupid and wrong and just shows of weak the bully is.

Sidestepper: Good for you that you stood up against your bullies and it's great that you stood up and protected others who were being bullied. You should have the title of "hero".

Thank you so much for this thread Surprised that I only became aware of it just now.

I have been bullied almost every year in my school days, countless times. Every time it happens, I'm so frightened, because I'm scared of people. But, sometimes I get sick of it and then get angry, and start fighting, win the fight, and be respected again. In this world, you have to, excuse me, be the animal, the wild animal, in order to get yourself some respect. I have Asperger's Syndrome, so I really didn't know what to do, I couldn't understand why this was happening to me. After many years of experience and my brothers talking me through it, I began to understand and just started to get annoyed instead of afraid. To be honest, I'm still afraid, but I'm open to go to the bully and teach him a lesson. I have been bullied by one guy for two years. At the end, I got angry, hit him so hard and made sure that it was painful, and after that, he stopped, and pretended that we are friends.

The last time I was bullied was in college in 2013 when I was a teenager. I got made fun of because I revealed a personal information about me that involved an interest. Never gonna do it again.