[Fuzzybear]

Do you make assumptions, for instance that a friend likes or loves another of their friends so much more than you because of something they have said or not said? Does that negate what you might have had between you? And do you read between the lines.... the closer the friend, the more you read between the lines of what they say? Do you personalise what might be them having a bad day, week, month ...... and feel that they no longer care about you? I do all of those and more

But are assumptions always wrong?

My gut feelings are often pretty accurate but I am in a bad place now so I just need to hide in a hole .... again.

Were you abused, neglected and ignored in your childhood (I was)

Do you trust?

(I hope I haven't asked any of these questions before, if so I send you fuzzy apologies)

Take care,
Fuzzy

[Lexicon78]

I, too, make many of those assumptions. I often make assumptions and they seem to be wrong most of the time. Instead of believing that my assumptions are wrong when I check and see if they are true, I do not trust what people say the truth is. I know this gets in the way, but trusting in my own inclinations is more important. One of my t's have told me time and time again, "feeling doesn't make it so". Do you think I believe that, no way.

I was pretty abused and neglected in my childhood.

Now the matter of trust...what's that? I don't trust very often. I find it very hard to trust people since most of them turn their backs on me or try to find a way to screw me over. I trust animals, not humans. I guess it's because I understand animals more than humans. I've been hurt one too many times by people. People must earn my trust, which takes almost a miracle to achieve sometimes. The miracle for me is to trust men. Men are the ones that have hurt me the most.

[darkeyes]

Fuzzy, my "dear bear", I used to make assumptions just about everything and everybody, but I have forced some discipline within myself, not to do that, not saying I never make assumptions, it happens
By working on making less, has relieved me of the overpowering stress and hurt that can come from this.
I am not completely free of this, but try more each day to give benefit(s) of the doubt to others and things, not hiding from it, but kind of dismissing it.
No one is perfect, that we all know, and we also should not try to be, just another stress evolves from this.
Did I just get off of track and strayed away from your post? I am sorry, you know me by now, ha!ha!
Don't climb into the hole you speak of, don't let it win and take you away, you have had good reason for assumptions due to all you have endured in life, my good friend.
Some assumptions and gut feelings can be accurate, but we all have to try to hold a balance, otherwise we can become overly mistrusting of people, I had a doctor once tell me that it isn't healthy and can wreak misery with our relationships, with ourselves and others.
I hope what I just wrote makes some sense and helps.
Whatever, please know that I care for you and consider you one of my dear friends

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

[Rapunzel]

Do I make assumptions? Yeah, even though I know my assumptions are often inaccurate, I can't help feeling that way anyway. But all it takes is for them to tell me or show me in some way that I was wrong, and we're fine.

No, assumptions are not always wrong, but often. For example, one of the things that I really looked forward to about going away to college was having roommates. I imagined that they would be friends and I would be able to talk to them openly and we would share so many experiences, and they would be like the sisters and the family that I wished my family could have been. That was too much to ask, and I was too needy. One year I had roommates who were just too involved in their other relationships and they didn't have time for me. I had a feeling sometimes that I was too needy and they didn't appreciate it, and that feeling was accurate, although I questioned it a lot. The next year I moved in with some girls who I thought were my friends, but again I was too needy, and they hated me. Again, I questioned my assumption, but it was true, and they treated me worse and worse as the year progressed.

Having an experience like that makes it easier to assume that your friends don't like you and/or that they like someone else more. But it doesn't make it true.

Abused/neglected/ignored? depends on who you ask

Do I trust? yeah, I guess I do, but it's fragile

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
As usual, you ask some really great questions. Thanks, and I hope that you find the answers you are looking for.

<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>

[Dorian]

(((((((((((((((((((((( 4 MY FUZZY WUZZY )))))))))))))))))))))))))
NEED I SAY MORE?
BEN : )

[PlanningtoLive]

Yes, I make assumptions about what people mean all the time - and usually I am not accurate. I am very paranoid about what people think and say about me, it bothers me a great deal.

On the surface my childhood was good, underneath was a "h*ll hole" as I told my mom once. Yes, to all three of the adjectives that describe my childhood, it was more subtle.

I trust no one really. There is a wall that everyone comes to, and that's it.........no further. The only one to get past it was my T, and look what happened there. It took him over a year to do it though. Nowadays, I am a loner, a surface "socializer".

Mary Alice

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks everyone for the replies, they were interesting! {{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}

[krzyk101]

((((((((((fuzzy))))))))))))

I am guilty of making assumptions. and I feel bad when I do, cause alot of the time I just think that I know what they are tinking about me without even asking them. I causes me unessary fear and useless and I am trying not to do it. My T tells me they cant read my mind and I can not read theres so I need to express and communicate more. I didn't come to general till today.

I was abused physically and menatally as a child and in early adulthood.

I have trust issues as well.

I hope that you feel better. And don't be sorry for asking more than questions more than once. I do all the time, I also share strories with people who have to remind me that I have already told that story 5 times in the past then I feel embarrased. Have a good day.

Take Care,
Kris

I wish you the best, and the hope for a better day for us all, in out struggles no matter how large or small I wish hope for us all

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for your reply Kris. It's good to see you posting in General. A lot of us here, including me, "hang out" on this part of the board quite a lot. It does help when people can relate. Watch out for my questions, I post them quite frequently

((((((((((((((Kris))))))))))))))

Take care,
Fuzzy