[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Overwhelming fatigue and stress are causing me to feel horrible. I am sitting here trying to figure out how to make life better. Some sleep or rest might help but I cannot relax enough to do that. I had to hire someone to help me pack, the family is really being difficult and NOT helping.

Both sons are fighting each other and me. One does not want me to hire movers, states I am being ridiculous. But he and my other sons cannot even get along right now and are acting immature. The other one is mocking that I am so tired and feel sick, it's not funny at all. I knew that this was going to be bad. My oldest sons has called and harassed me several times a day and every day this week because I am not doing things the way he thinks I should! He is not helping, but hindering.

I have been on the verge of tears all afternoon. I wish I could come up with some idea to help myself.

[avlady]

i do hope your sons will cooperate, its not right the way they are treating you. i feel your pain and will pray everything goes better. good luck

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Originally Posted by avlady

i do hope your sons will cooperate, its not right the way they are treating you. i feel your pain and will pray everything goes better. good luck

I know. My family has always done things back asswards when it comes to serious issues. Whatcha gonna do? Maybe they would be glad if I just keeled over and died.

Sorry for the pity party!

Thank you truly for the prayers

[~Christina]

I think you need to just cut them off during this move your making, If they are going to just add even MORE stress and shyt. Stop speaking about it on all levels to them.

I think if you make this move on your own without including them and their ridiculous drama adding to the mess, your going to feel stronger.

Its ok to not like your kids, You love them but you don't have to "like" them.. I have felt this way about my daughter at times and her and I are best friends.

Focusing on packing for 30 mins then take a break then go back for another 30 mins, Mentally it just allows you too know that after 30 mins you can take a break.

Try and hang in there

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I think you need to just cut them off during this move your making, If they are going to just add even MORE stress and shyt. Stop speaking about it on all levels to them.

I think if you make this move on your own without including them and their ridiculous drama adding to the mess, your going to feel stronger.

Its ok to not like your kids, You love them but you don't have to "like" them.. I have felt this way about my daughter at times and her and I are best friends.

Focusing on packing for 30 mins then take a break then go back for another 30 mins, Mentally it just allows you too know that after 30 mins you can take a break.

Try and hang in there

Thanks Christina. I am trying. I will spare you the gory details. I did decided yesterday that if either one of my sons call I am not going to answer. I don't understand but you are right, I will feel stronger if I do it all on my own. I won't soon forget this.

[gayleggg]

It sounds like you made a good choice for self-care. Sometimes families, when they should be supportive, show the worst behavior. It's good that you are able to draw some boundaries when you really need them.

[avlady]

my son doesn't treat me like i would sometimes like too-like someone said you can love them but not like them. 30 minutes at a time sounds doable i hope it works!!!have a good day otherwise if you can!!

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

It sounds like you made a good choice for self-care. Sometimes families, when they should be supportive, show the worst behavior. It's good that you are able to draw some boundaries when you really need them.

Gayle, I feel like I am in the twilight zone. When I ignored their calls, they both showed up at my house! At the same time! Cannot believe that one did not speak to the other, it was very awkward. I told them exactly why I did not answer, plus the fact that I am busy and feel rather sick from the stress.

Then to top it off, the older one left without a word, then the other one decided to rant at me, telling me that I was being ridiculous...ragging on me for being out of shape and that I should be up doing something besides just watching someone else work. He does not know what I have done and besides that, it was very rude and callus. Unbelievable. Of all days too!

[~Christina]

Your sons are adults. Do you have any boundaries in your relationships with each of them?

If they start to treat your badly or just being complete asshats! what do you do? Do you tell them to stop? Do you get up and leave? Do you ask them to leave? You do have a lot more control over your relationships with them than you probably think.

It's hard to make boundaries and harder still to enforce them.. You will need to probably literally sit them down and explain to them that you are there mother , but you will no longer allow there disrespect ,fooliness and stupidty any longer.. I doubt right now you could even tackle taking on the chore of making much needed boundaries.. but once you move and are getting settled .. actively work on a game plan as to how to approach them and stand your ground, I do imagine they won't like this "new fangle way of treating Mom" But .. enough is enough...

As for them calling and you not answering there calls , You can do that ., if it prompts them to rush over if you don't answer is a really big sign they love you, really. Personally I would just text them after you don't answer there call " Sorry I'm busy in the middle of some stuff, Thanks for calling , talk soon , I love you .

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Yes, I do have boundaries with them. That was unusual for him to say all that, it was kind of strange. He already apologized. I know he has a lot of problems but that is no excuse. I do tell both of them that they are not allowed to speak to me in such a manner. Yes they were half raised by my dad after my divorce and he was never very respectful towards women. I guess I dropped the ball during that time and now it costs me.

I am feeling better tonight, not like I might implode at any moment. It was like I was in the very beginnings of acute withdrawals from benzos, incredible. I came very close to taking a small amount but refrained.

Tomorrow is moving day! Can't seem to bargain my way out of it...yuck!!! Wish me luck.

Thanks Christina for your thoughts.

[~Christina]

Good luck on Moving , Hope it runs smoothly for you