[Ryan358]

I'm 17, and all my life I've had struggles with my parents. Whenever I'm away from them, or observing them from a distance, I realize what amazing, nice people they are, and that they're just like me, but then as soon as they say something to me I'll turn my back (literally) and completely ignore them. Or if I do reply, it will either be a grunt or something nasty. I'm down in my room all the time because i just can't be around them, or talk to them... and I wish i knew why, or what to do to start opening up more.

Every night I get really sad, and feel this huge guilt like I've ruined their lives and I'm not who they thought i would be when I was younger. And guilt about how badly I treated them that day, and how I treat them every day. Why am i so mean to them, and then cry about them and love them so much at night? I also burst into tears if I see a picture of one of them. It's so confusing, and I feel like a horrible person for all of this. All the pain I must have caused them....

I also have really weird habits around them (this is one of my biggest concerns right now). Like when they talk to me, i look away and shield my face with my hand so they can't see me. And when I'm doing something, like, say, making myself a lunch, if one of them were to walk into the kitchen, I would just freeze up and have to stop whatever I'm doing, and only can continue once they leave. Can't even eat around them either, I always have to be in another room. What is this a symptom of?

Lately, my mom also seems to think I'm autistic, and it's been making it even harder to talk to her than usual. Am I a bad person? What is this???

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated about any of this.

A lot of times we hide from our parents because we harbor a fear of dissapointing them. And with the amount of stigma centered around mental health these days, it makes it even harder to open up to our parents when we think there is something wrong. Hell, I would have likely hid from my mom for years had she not caught me doing something bad. But in the end my mom turned out to be my biggest supporter.

[Mygrandjourney]

Originally Posted by Ryan358

I'm 17, and all my life I've had struggles with my parents. Whenever I'm away from them, or observing them from a distance, I realize what amazing, nice people they are, and that they're just like me, but then as soon as they say something to me I'll turn my back (literally) and completely ignore them. Or if I do reply, it will either be a grunt or something nasty. I'm down in my room all the time because i just can't be around them, or talk to them... and I wish i knew why, or what to do to start opening up more.

Every night I get really sad, and feel this huge guilt like I've ruined their lives and I'm not who they thought i would be when I was younger. (edit).... All the pain I must have caused them....

I also have really weird habits around them (edit)..... Can't even eat around them either, I always have to be in another room. What is this a symptom of?

Lately, my mom also seems to think I'm autistic,... (edited)

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated about any of this.

Hi Ryan: Thanks for posting. Have you met with a counselor of any kind? Where did the thoughts about having ruined their lives come from? What was the setting where your mother shared with you her impression that you might be autistic? Do you feel a great deal of anxiety with other people (at school, work, church, etc) or is it just with them? If you're wondering what is wrong with you, then meeting with a qualified professional would be the first step to determine if it is something about you, your family dynamics or something else entirely. You're of age to seek out evaluation and treatment independently of your parents in most states, so you don't need to ask them if you don't feel comfortable doing so. Best of luck and hope you can get some help and clarity on this! Keep us all posted.

i tried talking to my parents, and got totally disowned by them.

so i've learnt never to make the same mistake.

if i need to talk, i'll talk to someone who actually cares. (which is very few people)

hope that you have better luck if you decide to talk to them!

[starthrower]

I find it hard to talk to my parents too :/ have always found it hard and I'm 28. I'm lucky that recently, I've been able to talk to a woman I babysit for but up till then, I've never really been close enough to any adults to talk to properly. I think it's really hard with parents because you're with them so much and they're 'involved' which can make it really difficult- my mum has a habit of trying to 'take over' and wanting to know absolutely everything, so it's easier sometimes that she doesn't know anything at all. She also sometimes brings up something I've said in an argument which makes me really angry. I think it's really important to be able to talk to someone though, even if it's a teacher or someone you're not particularly close to (which can sometimes make it easier).