[seeker1950]

I just got back from a drive thru to get a take-out breakfast. The cars were backed up in the line, the parking lot full, and while sitting there, waiting to move forward, an older couple came out with three little kids. They were carrying two of them, and one little girl, about age 4, skinny and frail, was walking to the car with them. The woman was bustling around giving orders about getting into the car, and the little girl touched the door handle, at which the woman hit her very loudly on the arm...a loud whack which resonated thru the parking lot. I was parked right beside them, and it really bothered me. I said, loudly, "You shouldn't be hitting her like that!" The fat woman ignored me, but the man turned around and said, "She's okay." To which I replied, "No, she's NOT!" The little girl stood there holding her arm as my car advanced away from them.
I'm very disturbed by this. In confronting them, I actually feared getting into an altercation, or beaten up myself. I wonder, if this woman will do this in public, what does she do in private?
Sad,
Patty

[nothemama8]

you did fine, next time get the license plate and report them

Patty, that was sacry for you.

I admire your speaking out!

That little girl heard you and now she knows it is not okay to be hit--she may have never before received that message!

The parents heard you and though they denied the affect of the abuse, they are now aware of how it looks to others and that might make a difference. They might have never before received THAT message.

You never know what effect you may have had.

That is true courage and love: acting on someone else's behalf without thinking of yourself first !!

I applaud you!

And I pray your words make a difference for her.

[seeker1950]

Mama and Echoes,
I wish I HAD taken the license number, not that it would have done any good, social services being what it is. But I was too rattled to think! If they had just seen me taking down their license number, though, it would have made more of an impression.
Echoes, you are right, this little girl may have never heard it isn't okay for her to be hit like this. And, I suspect, the mother (or, more likely, grandmother), may have never been confronted with her abusive treatment of children.
One can only hope it made some sort of impression!
Love
Patty

((((((((((((((((seeker)))))))))))))))))))

i applaud you for what you did. like you say if she does that in public over touching a door handle. some people dont deserve the gift of children and it has upset me too. well done you, i hope they felt ashamed.

love, jinnyann xoxoxoxoxox

[Eva1nder]

Patty ...it's sad and I hope you are doing ok.

This is the most awful thing to witness .... My sister and I had been behind a car while driving we saw a man who kept hitting a young man in the head repeatedly. We were following them through the town to the police station and I had copied the license plate #.

I could tell that there was something wrong with the young man. He was disabled...I was thinking he had CP from his posture, which just really broke my heart.

I wanted to hit this car.

It felt like the longest 10min of my life. I think if my sister hadn't been with me I would have panicked as well or who knows what I would have done really.

Anyways, my sister and I know this cop very well and they went to this families home and spoke with them and unfortunately nothing was done. They made up some story.

This was 3 years ago and it still haunts me.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
seeker1950 said:
Mama and Echoes,
I wish I HAD taken the license number, not that it would have done any good, social services being what it is.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I agree here - and it seems like in many states that you can hit your child for any reason now as long as it does not draw blood or leave an usually large bruise.

<font color="purple"> BUT - HURRAY for YOU for SPEAKING UP....... WE are PROUD!! </font>

you done good, woman!! when i worked in the frameshop i intervened when i saw a woman hit her daughter and she actually tried to get to me. but the young man that was working with me grabbed her and we called the store manager.....

i agree, the child may be so used to being abused that you helped her tremendously.!!!!

[seeker1950]

Yes, Pat, there is always a chance of getting whacked yourself!
I truly believe everyone of us here would have spoken up as I did! How could we not!
I did this one other time when entering a discount store and at the doorway a woman was hitting a small child so hard it was lifting her up off the floor. The little girl was about three or four and the woman was well over 200 pounds. I stopped and said..."You're abusing that child!" She looked at me like I had slapped HER! Actual pain in her face, and I do realize such people are hurting themselves and passing their frustrations off to the offspring...so sad.
Love
Patty

[kimmydawn]

I agree with what's been said here a few times...even if you didn't get a message to those "parents", hopefully you did to the precious. Being a survivor of abuse, I didn't know that anything that went on in our home (or elsewhere) wasn't normal. I remember that shock when I found out it wasn't normal...thinking it wasn't OK was almost beyond my comprehension. You placed a wonderful "stopper" in thought, patty...possibly the best gift given because it happened in the moment where the impact is greatest and most lasting.

*************** TRIGGER ********************


At a theater several years ago, my family and I were watching a movie. A young mother picked her (probably 2ish) child up and spanked her right in the theater in front of everyone...speaking horribly. This was a BABY. She had no business in the theater for an adult movie anyhow. We're talking multiple slaps...what constitutes a spanking.

I was LIVID and triggered. I got up...hubby knows my by now and said, "Babe, sit down, please." Um, no! I walked out of the theater to get a guard to report the abuse. As I was walking out, another woman was as well...crying. I knew she was on the same mission that I was on. We found the guard and he got the woman and child out of the theater. I was very harsh. The other woman cried and pleaded with the young mother saying that she can't imagine what the child goes thru at home if she does that in public. All the time we're looking at this beautiful baby on the mother's hip...still snubbing from the crying.

You could tell she didn't get our upset. However, she promised she wouldn't hit her anymore and we left in the the hands of the security guard where I prayed he reported it.

I remember being a young parent with issues (I had my oldest at 18). It's so hard. It truly is. As a mother, I'm so proud to say that my children don't know the meaning of the act "whipping" or "spanking". That's one heck of a testament. HOWEVER, I remember wanting to spank, react harshly, etc. I think the feeling is "pre-set" if you were raised with physical punishment. It's how we respond to our own thinking that helps our reactions. I look back and know that most of the times that I felt that way was ME, not the child...much like my responses to ppl in real life today.

It's just so hard and don't doubt, patty, that you let a little girl know that 'IT'S NOT OK'. You couldn't have given a better gift in the moment. Oh, if someone would've let me know it wasn't OK...a big part of my life might've been different. You gave that child that.

KD

[heyjoe]

I would never say anything over someone giving their child one slap, though i have run accross worse rarely. ONe time for instance i saw a woman kick a kid about 3 on the side of the knee hard while they were walking. I said to her you kick him again im going to kick you, see how you like it. She got angry but she got the message at least for then.

[Direction]

You may have just given them a bit of wake of call to either the child that it wasn't ok - to man that the woman is possibly too harsh - and to the woman who may think about what caused her to lash out.

You did good - speaking up and keeping yourself safe...

[January]

(((((((((( Patty ))))))))))))

You did the right thing. Trust me on this.

Hugs,

Jan

[Sabrina]

As sad as this is, I witness this sort of thing in my country on a daily basis.

I am sorry for the pain it caused you.

[seeker1950]

I shared this exp with a couple of my female teacher friends today, and one teacher said she is "always afraid" to say anything, and related that she has friend who is a counselor who will intervene kindly, saying something like, "I see you're having a hard time here, can I help you?"
Personally, though, I don't think the kind approach would have the impact of a "verbal slap" when a person is beating a child in public!
I got hit, switched, shaken and smacked daily by my mother from very early. I remember wishing my father, who never hit me, would intervene, but he never did. The only thing I remember is one time his saying, "You're going to give her an inferiority complex!" I've never forgotten that, and perhaps it made an impact, like hearing that it's not okay.
As a parent of one daughter, I never ever hit her, but used talk and reasoning instead. One time, after a counselor had heard of my childhood, he stated, "You hit your daughter, don't you!" to which I replied "No, I've never hit her!" He appologized during our next session.
Patty