[seeker1950]

I read here people referriing to their "T's," and look back on my long history with therapy...over 30 years, truly...from college age onward, thru a debilitatingly unhappy marriage of 20 year, and then my 10 years since divorce. Honestly, I have to say that none of them helped me, though I went to many of them for years.
The last therapist I went to for over a year actually laughed at me while I was relating something to her in tears.
I am thinking that time and experience, for me at least, have been the best teachers.
I don't mean to discount the value of therapy for those who have found someone who helps them, but I can truly say I never did, and there have been many. This leave me with the feeling that counselors are just working stiffs, like all of us here..."Your time is up!"
I've made many mistakes...suffered greatly from them. Would that I could have found a therapist to help me get through and recover more efficiently. NOT!
Patty

[SeptemberMorn]

I'm sorry!

There's no way I'd be where I am if it hadn't been for the one T that stuck with me through thick and thin. Yeah, she made mistakes, but she's human, too. I'm grateful that I kept trying till I found someone I "clicked" with.

just thinking here Patty, .... could it be therapists didn't really help you because perhaps you had the answers already, way in the back of your mind, as to how you were going to go about things?

Some people are just so lost they can't even see their own reflection if they look in the mirror-- ahem... that would be me! ..... I wasn't able to see what should be done or what is even happening sometimes ... severe clinical depression had me at a dangerously low body weight-- a depression I didn't know how to get out of on my own.

Perhaps you have that "healthy" sense about you-- guides you in the best directions......

I'm sure at the time though, it must have been frustrating to seek help and then only find that it's not help at all-- sorry it was that way for you.

Patty--

mandy

[(JD)]

(((seeker))) You are a stronger person than I, for I would not be here without my T's help. Why not find someone NOW and clear the air about how you needed someone THEN!

[seeker1950]

Thanks to all of you for your honesty in this matter. I know some of the therapists with whom I worked ad nauseum did give some valuable feedback and advice...others not so much. Perhaps I was unable to make the internal changes which were no necessary, unable to hear what they were saying. I suspect this happens a lot of the time with counseling.
For the past 8 or so years, I have abstained from seeking counseling, despite some pretty horrific experiences which took extreme focus and willpower to recover from. These were really bad attempts at relationships with men, and as a result, I now am rather reclusive and no longer seek company of men or try to date at all. The thing is...I'm NOT strong, but have learned to be discerning to the point of lacking the energy to even try.
In my mind, this is not a bad thing, since I am having some well-earned peace of mind, and have established a comfortable routine of existence. Yes, as Sky suggested, perhaps I could find a T now with whom I could talk about this "evolution" in my priorities. I have thought about it, but feeling "safe" and somewhat focused on my job and studies, not sure how beneficial it would be to shake things up!
Love
Patty