Sometimes, often, I feel like I am on cocaine when I am not.

In the past I was given drug tests to prove that I wasn't on drugs because doctors and nurses would not believe me.

What is this? I have been in the system most of my life so I am sure there isn't a name for it... but sometimes I wish there was a name (even though I don't believe much in labels).

Partly like mania but more physical than mania with less euphoria/delusions.
Like anxiety but not so much worrying and more excessive thinking/hyperactivity.
Like ADHD except it didn't start until adolescence.
I have now been clean for a year so not due to drugs.
Often goes along with increased heart rate/arrhythmia.
Helps my creativity until I completely lose it.
Can go on little sleep.

I had hormone stuff tested in the past, not it (though they did not do all the tests they could have done).

The one thing it is exactly like is cocaine. But whenever I tell a doctor this they get all suspicious.

Once I hadn't done any drugs, my drug test came out clean, and they actually came back and said--you must have done something else.

What the hell? At the time I was not only crazy but had to have constant EKGs and was in the ER so... Still don't know what the hell happened with that, because they didn't believe me they never bothered trying to figure it out.

[Georgia Bridge]

I have no idea. Can't sleep, saw your thread. Got curious. Now, even less of an idea. You said you'd been in the system most of your life. I wonder if someone took you to find out what it was when it started... I think you said adolescence? Have all the symptoms been there that long? Did some come later? I am at a total loss on it and can't help, but I am mulling it over even though I know it'll lead me around in circles and I'll land none the wiser. I hope this is one of the creative nights.

Well, given how much time I have spent with doctors, if I still haven't got anywhere with anyone...

I have mostly come to the conclusion that I just do not fit any label (and many doctors agree with me). My heart is also much better than it was in the past and my episodes of feeling like I am on cocaine do not last as long. Not in their extremes...

I probably just had/have a strange mix of everything.

I wasn't really honest with doctors as a teenager because there was no confidentiality (and for other reasons I wont get into). Later on, doctors would blame everything on drugs (and clearly not believe me when I was not using).

I should also be more careful with caffeine and nicotine than I am. But it can happen even without stimulants. Usually brought on by stress. It starts off being fun and quickly gets to be very overwhelming and slightly crazy and I just want to crash... And I cant eat or sleep...

I was diagnosed with half the DSM at one point or the other. The psychiatrist stopped seeing me, anyway....

A lot of times I get the--you are just a suffering artist--type thing. There may be some validity in that but I go way beyond any stereotype. Who knows.

[avlady]

i'm sorry you can't figure it out. maybe you are just this way naturally? we all have differrent gifts and such, i really don't know what to say but welcome and enjoy!!!!

[eskielover]

Brought on by stress....sounds like possibly an adrenalin issue???? Have you had your adrenal glands checked?

You & Your Hormones | Hormones | Adrenaline

Just a thought if your MD's haven't already checked this out.

Originally Posted by eskielover

Brought on by stress....sounds like possibly an adrenalin issue???? Have you had your adrenal glands checked?

You & Your Hormones | Hormones | Adrenaline

Just a thought if your MD's haven't already checked this out.

That partly does make sense. Probably that and many other things... Because it feels more good than fearful.

However, I have aspects of C-PTSD so it is possible that fight or flight is so familiar that it does feel productive, hyper...

It is also no where near as bad as it used to be.

I have given up on doctors, otherwise I would ask. I am done with being a specimen. Probably best to just do whatever I can to be grounded.