![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
||||
|
||||
Not even the simplest tasks that I KNOW I CAN DO!! There's a big fat mental block here composed of anxiety/ADD/misdiagnoses?/giving myself an excuse/laziness and I can't get around it. I don't even know where to begin. I should be working now but it's 1 in the %#@&#! morning and I wake up at five and I got maybe one or two hours of sleep last night and my history teacher is a ***** and I HATE THE GUILT but I can't fix the problem!!
I just want to go back a couple months and start therapy then. Maybe it'll help, but I have so many doubts. I need to break this stupid vicious cycle ("mental block"=can't work, can't work=unfinished stuff=more anxiety=can't work... eventually leading to midnight work sessions that never finish anything=guilt=no self esteem=bigger mental block=can't work...) but I don't know how. ![]() I feel bad about how much I rant on these forums. I should be so much happier than I am, considering the fact that my life is 90-99% perfect. It's so dumb, I have everything and yet... bleh. Thanks for listening, those who read this. You're amazing, you really truly are! love, ~muse
__________________
"The Magic has come and done it... the Magic that won't let those worst things ever quite happen." ~A Little Princess |
#2
|
||||
|
||||
Sweetie, I wish I had a magical solution for you. I'm the queen of mental blocks... I spend a whole lot of time thinking, "Augh! Why can't I do anything??" I read your post and thought, "Hmmm... Did I write that?" I'm very motivated and competent at work, but I still struggle with procrastination (a lot) when I'm at home. My long-standing mental block is -- "Augh!!! Why can't I clean up my flat??"
Therapy can help. You just need to give it a chance. I wish you had started it sooner too, but it's good that you're considering it now. Then, a few months from now you can think, "Wow, I'm glad I started therapy when I did!" I used to have mental blocks stopping me from leaving my flat. My anxiety was so out of control, I couldn't even step outside on my deck without freaking, and therapy and meds helped me get SO much better. Don't feel bad about venting on the forum. That's what this forum is for. Talking about this stuff and getting it all out is healthy. I always feel like I should be happier than I am too, but I'm not. I have problems with depression and anxiety and those things are diseases that skew my perception. There's no need to feel guilty about having an illness. It's not my fault that I am the way I am and it's not your fault that you are the way you are. We're not weak or bad or selfish. We're fighting illnesses here. The brain is just another organ in the body and there's no shame in having an illness that affects the way our brains work. The important thing is that you're reaching out for help and trying to get healthier and happier. Hang in there. I know it's tough. You have SO much going for you. Once you get into therapy and put all your insight and intelligence into working on your therapy, you'll be amazed by what you can accomplish. ![]()
__________________
“Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is important that you do it." - Mahatma Gandhi |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
![]() ![]() Most of the time I cant even get myself to peel a potatoe,but I spend heaps of time thinking about how I can change it all!! So hard to get from the "thinking about how", to the actual doing!! But Im not going to give up, it will happen just like it will for you.Seems like lots of us feel like this,so try not to beat yourself up about it.
__________________
![]() |
#4
|
||||
|
||||
Juliana, Muse, if you guys come up with the magical cure—please let me know about it. Procrastinating or sometimes trying to get things done and just plain spinning my wheels is the root of my anxiety. I have all kinds of good intentions, but they never seem to materialize. And then I also have way too many demands on my time—heavy workload, heavy school load. Teachers…oh, lets not talk about teachers…I have one that is trying to save the world in just one quarter—her demands are unrealistic, but I have to pass the class to graduate.
I try not to get too down on myself because sometimes, I think it is more than just procrastination—I get all anxious and unable to start a project let alone finish one. I spend hours trying and yet I get nowhere. I run around in a constant state of “oh, %#@&#!” because deadlines are looming over my head. My boss is a neurologist and she suggested that I am ADHD—I have meds for it, but that has not been the magical cure. It has made things better, but I am still struggling. Well, not much help am I? At least know that you are not alone! The next time you are up at 1 AM trying to get a project done, think of me, I’ll probably be somewhere in Ohio doing the same thing.
__________________
You don't have to fly straight... ![]() ...just keep it between the lines!
|
#5
|
||||
|
||||
Thanks so much, all.
![]() DePressMe, you sound EXACTLY like me!!! I totally relate to "spinning my wheels". At least I was lucky this time--my history teacher didn't collect our work. Kind of dissappointing, as I DID manage to finish at 5:30 AM before school began, but... well, I got off easy this time. Yay! love to all, ~muse
__________________
"The Magic has come and done it... the Magic that won't let those worst things ever quite happen." ~A Little Princess |
#6
|
||||
|
||||
Stress. You do get some things done, you say.
![]() Breathe. Give yourself time. Be patient with yourself. Remember, it isn't you, it's the disorder. ![]()
__________________
|
#7
|
||||
|
||||
I have flunked out of school because of this issue... if you are like me, it's not even like it is too much.... there is just something in the way. I will do things like finish a paper and then make some elaborate excuse why it wouldn't print and then never hand it in or just have a bibliography to do where I could hand it in without and at least get some marks but instead I just never hand it in and fail.
It's so frustrating because I am smart and these tasks are so do-able. I screw myself over to the point where I won't leave my house because I'm afraid things will catch up with me. I can't even bring myself to put sheets on my bed or open my mail. My credit is toast, I get fired from jobs, and I am sure I'm kicked out of school because I didn't hand in any papers or buy the books even.... I can't force myself to open that letter either. It's like being trapped in a bad nightmare, but waking up is gonna be a severe dose of reality too... I can't even force myself to eat something or take my meds... I just hope I don't do something stupid like not go to my psychiatrist appointment in July... I've been on a wait list since February. |
Reply |
|
![]() |
||||
Thread | Forum | |||
Augh, BPD. What a mess. | Personality Place |