[kimmydawn]

I hope to put here is something we can all reflect on...not apply to another, but reflect on within ourselves individually. I am.

I've heard a really good phrase that I love, "Every relationship needs a hero." Most members here have a relationship with PC, and then relationships inside of PC (good, bad and indifferent).

Are we standing around waiting for someone else to be the hero, or is each one of us being the hero that this community and the relationships we have here need, when it's needed?

Again, this is not meant to be accusatory but to ask ourselves IF we so choose to pick the phrase and apply it to ourselves. If we don't, we can leave the phrase where it's at...and it will just be words on a computer screen.

Actually we can do this with ANYTHING we read...take what we want/need/can apply, leave the rest.



I copied the above from another thread. It means alot to me. I've actually applied this in my life and it's really helped.

I want to be a "hero" here at PC....in my relationship with PC as a whole and in my relationships here at PC.

Who will work with me? We'll be "The PC Heroes". We'll have our morning coffee and chat, think of ideas, bond and work together.

We'll remember that when we make suggestions, or commitments, we are speaking for ourselves individually and what "heroic measures" we can go to for those we care for and for ourselves...all of which will affect PC as a whole.

I will commit myself to this thread daily.

Love & respect,

KD

[kimmydawn]

The first thing I'd like to do to working toward being a relationship hero here is:

Respond more than I do. I read alot. I have responses in my head and don't type them nearly as much as I think them. That doesn't help those whose posts I'm reading...not to comment when I have one. I can type as fast as I can think almost. I don't know why I do that, so I'm going to work actively to change that.

KD

[selfy]

hehe coolio... i wanna b a hero,,, suppose i should reply to posts more often as well, and i have not been here as much as i could. i will try to be here every day and make more posts keep doin good kimmy we all value your presence here
tc all,,,
self

[sabby]

(((((((((((KD))))))))))) You are my hero!!!!

I would love to jump on the bandwagon if I might.

I know exactly what you mean about reading a lot but not always posting. I do the same. I have questioned myself as to why I post to some things, and why not to others. I have started posts to folks, reread what I posted and then deleted it. Sometimes I feel that my words just aren't enough or they sound really corny or I just plain don't know what I'm talking about. What I try to do now is to at least give a hug if I can't come up with something construtive to say. That way folks will know that I am thinking of them.

Thanks for being you (((((((((((((((((((KD))))))))))))))))))))))

Love & Hugs
J

i'm in..........sabau2, even a smilie face reply is meaningful. sometimes when my well is dry, i go to John's "more smilies" and use that water...........xoxoxo pat

[sabby]

You are so right Pat....

[kimmydawn]

Cool, guys! Thanks!

Yep, I do that too, sabau...write something then wonder about my response and delete it, but most often I read, think something but don't respond.

I've thought about this and think that it's because I'm used to doing so much reading that it's become habit for me....a habit I need to break!

Thanks for wanting to take what can feel like "heroic" measures at times to do the individual part in this great site!

So, after a night at the ER, I'm just having my coffee with y'all...and responding.

Love,

KD

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((((((((KD and daugher))))))))))))))))))))))))

Oh dear hon....I do hope all is ok now. So sorry you had another scare and had to go to the ER.

Sending healing thoughts and love your way!!!

Hugsssss
J

[AlteredState01]

An interesting topic, KD. I, too, have found that my responses are less and less. I know why, in my case, but when I read your description of what a hero might be on a site like this, my excuse seems, well, rather selfish.

Sometimes, I feel like like I am fighting the notion of having a paradoxical nature - one day I can't make sense of life, the next, I can provide guidance in a logical frame of mind. (??) I feel like a hypocrite.

It is hard, at times, to convince myself that I have both qualities; that being in both states of mind is, in some sense, a blessing (because I have compassion and understanding for people I would probably not otherwise have).

It is even more difficult to constantly fight the negative stereotype of a person with mental illness, even within my own mind. It's like, if I am diagnosed with being "crazy," I ought to be that way 24/7, not this on-and-off thing I have going. It's like an added dimension I have to struggle with. And if this state of mind is not usually acceptable IRL, how much more acceptable is it when I am communicating with potentially thousands of people at one time?

And what about the reverse situation? Am I accepting of advice from others whom I understand to have a mental illness as well? How much credence am I giving to their responses? Sometimes, not much, because as a hypocrite, I have just read a thread where they are not so together, and it makes me second guess their responses and advice as well.

Then there is the potential for negative feedback. It always surprises me how emotionally involved I can get when I submit and/or respond to a thread or post and then have that P.O.V. picked apart. It is tough enough to handle IRL, let alone dealing with, again, potentially hundreds of responses, especially if one considers this place a safe-haven in the truest sense of the word. I have been knocked to the floor a few times, here. The pain just doesn't seem worth it, you know?

However, I have chosen to try to become a part of this community - with all its ups and downs (mine included) - and I, therefore, have a responsibility to participate in it as fully as possible.

I, too, need to try a little harder, because, at the end of the day and after all is said and done, there is ALWAYS some on-line, someone always here willing to try to help, or at the very least, listen. And it is THAT alone, that makes this place worth it.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((( AS )))))))))

What a THOUGHTFUL post. Thank you.

You said, "However, I have chosen to try to become a part of this community - with all its ups and downs (mine included) - and I, therefore, have a responsibility to participate in it as fully as possible."

Yes, and that's kind of what I was referring to. I doubt there exists a relationship (with frequent interaction) that doesn't have its ups and downs, doesn't wax and wane, doesn't have miscommunication or bad days. I so get what you're saying, and it can be tough.

It's at those times that I think we grab hold of the "base" we create for ourselves here. The base would be knowing our expectations, combined with what is realistically possible.

I know my expectations here and sometimes have been blown out of the water with them. I retreat with the "emotional hand smack". It can sting. It's at that time I have to ask myself if my expectations are realistic. Then, if they are, are they realistic to expect 100% of the time. Alot of the time, I'll have a better understanding after having this internal dialogue. No, I can't expect every moment to be perfect, I can't expect no one to reflect their inner pain and anxieties on me in the moment and then ask myself if I've not done the same.

I think it's all part of being in a relationship.

I also think the heroic part is braving to give more of ourselves (even if it's nothing more than a mental acknowledgment or understanding...not relayed even) while we still go into what me might consider a "burning building" to give of ourselves when we see a clear need and have of ourselves to give. We have to have something to give first...

Thank you so much for the time and effort.

KD

[kimmydawn]

((((((((( sabau ))))))))))))

thank you.

She's OK. they gave her a beta blocker and she's to see a cardiologist. Her counts are good so the dr. maintains she's not actively hyperthyroid so they're concerns about the source of the tachycardia which is ramping and the palpitations.

She's good today.

DK

for the past couple of nights,i've been on here around 1-2-3 a.m. and there has always been someone here to help me. i've been in dire physical pain and both nights, someone here offered me a hand up. i can do the same..........xoxoxo pat

[AnnieL]

Wow....what an uplifting post! I have been a member for awhile now....but havent posted but once. I am sorry for not letting you get to know me, the way that I feel I have come to know some of you from your great words.

Annie

[sabby]

Hi Annie!

I'm so glad you have decided to post a bit. It will be a pleasure getting to know you and I hope you find the love and support you need here in our little corner of the world

Take good care Annie!

Hugssssssss
J

[kimmydawn]

(((((((( Annie )))))))))))

welcome. Thank you for being one of my heroes today. Your post warmed my heart...in ways I can't explain.

(((((((( pat ))))))))

That's wonderful! It's a kind commitment you've made.

KD

[Fuzzybear]

I try is all I can say. I feel ineffective much of the time. I start replies then back out. I cannot seem to find words to convey that I care about the other peson and support them.