[sagemackhugo]

Hello everyone. I was just wondering if anyone else deals with these things. I was thinking to myself all these things that I think sometimes and I decided to quickly jot them down. Sorry, it's not very organized or well-written at all... It was quick.





Always feel like there are cameras in houses that are watching me or recording me. Always feel like there is someone in the house watching or listening to me, hiding behind a door, in a corner, etc. Think people are watching me through windows or cracks in the blinds or curtains. Feel like they're planning to break in and

Possible trigger:

torture me and kill me.

I'll stand/sit quiet for a long time listening for any clues if I hear anything. I'll listen closely by the door. Prevents me from moving or doing much. Have to sit/stand perfectly still and listen very carefully, have to breathe very slowly and quietly (makes it hard to breathe and my chest gets tight), can't do homework because it's too noisy turning pages and writing, walk VERY slowly and carefully, can't brush my hair, run water, or anything. Think of situations that could happen and what I could do. Make up possible situations that could be happening, a whole plot. I just become hyperaware of everything around me and my heart starts racing a lot, and I cry sometimes because I get so scared. Sometimes I’ll message someone saying how scared I am and that I feel like someone might break in

Possible trigger:

and kill me

, so I tell them that I love them and stuff, just in case I do die.

Always feel like there are cameras or voice recorders in the car that are watching/listening to me.

Always feel like the cameras in my phone and computer are being hacked by someone and they secretly watch me all the time. Feel like people can see my texts, emails, and other things on my phone/computer (people I know and people I don't know).

Often times will tape paper over the camera of my computer or phone so no one can see me, but I'm still scared that they can hear me. Sometimes in the bathroom I'll open a drawer and put my phone in it so no one can see or hear me.

Always feel like people can hear what I'm thinking, so I start thinking something but then in my head (without actually "verbally" thinking it, decide to change what I'm thinking so they can't hear what I was actually going to think. I'll purposely think certain things in case they can hear my thoughts.

Always wonder if their are certain people (parents, doctors, random people) who can read thoughts, or read thoughts of specific people (their children, etc). And like it's a known thing amongst them all but they all hide it from the ones who don't know it yet. Or after you reach a certain age you can hear thoughts or whatever and everyone who is of the age knows it but hides it.

Also always scared that their are paranormal things (ghosts, demons, etc) around the house or place I'm at (especially at night) and they can hear what I'm thinking, and will do something if I think a certain thing or something. And if I watch anything that has to do with anything paranormal.

Think my every move is being watched when I’m in a store or public place, so I become hyperaware of everything I do. Like I’m very nervous about putting my hands in my pockets or my phone in my pocket because I’m nervous they’ll see me and I’ll get in trouble.

[Nike007]

I believe I have something similar, just not as major as you. I suggest you bring this up with someone to find treatment for. It sounds like paranoid personality disorder to me, but no expert here. I'm sure there is treatment to help this. Have you told anyone else about this before? It seems to control a lot of your functioning so it would be wise to tell someone about it. I hope you find the treatment you need .

Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk

[sagemackhugo]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I believe I have something similar, just not as major as you. I suggest you bring this up with someone to find treatment for. It sounds like paranoid personality disorder to me, but no expert here. I'm sure there is treatment to help this. Have you told anyone else about this before? It seems to control a lot of your functioning so it would be wise to tell someone about it. I hope you find the treatment you need .

Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk

Yeah, like I figure it's a somewhat common thing in lesser forms. And I mean, it's not ALWAYS that bad, like right now I'm alright, but when I go take a shower in a little bit I'll be a little scared. But it's not too bad tonight.

Yeah, I'm not sure... I mean I guess it could be that... I'm not sure...

But no, I've never told anyone about this. I mean, I've told this guy I that I love (he's always the one I message when I'm freaking out, as I mentioned in the post), but haven't told him this much AT ALL.

But yeah, I might check into it. I have a lot of other things I want to check on too lol. There are several things I've been thinking I may have. But you can never self diagnose, so who knows... But thank you!

[MiddayNap]

When I was in elementary, I constantly worried people could read my mind and would try very hard not to think during class because of this. I still worry over this, but I recognize its absurdity. I won't bore you with all my other paranoid beliefs; suffice it to say I've quite a few in common.
Again, I recognize these thoughts are ridiculous and I think some part of you does as well. There was a time, however, when I could not distinguish my own delusions from reality. You seem to be at least somewhat self-aware, so I don't believe you are quite to that point yet. With that being said, please seek the proper help immediately because it gets much, much worse before it gets better. From one delusional soul to another: I know therapy is frightening.
The therapist is deceiving me-lying like everyone else. They laugh behind my back, but I know. I'm no fool. She's watching me. She's judging me. Is that her car? She knows-She's judging me. I told her everything. She thinks I'm a liar-you are a liar. You made it all up and she knows and she thinks you are pathetic you Liar Liar Liar. You can't see her anymore because she's mad at you. She hates you now. Shut up; stop talking. Shut up. Shut up. She hates you.
Trust me, I've had these thoughts for every single person I've ever come to know. Hell, I'm having them right now as I type this message. I imagine you've had similar fears, but -if you do have them-don't let them keep you from seeking therapy. That point I cannot stress enough. Seek help while you are able to recognize that you may need it.

[sagemackhugo]

Originally Posted by MiddayNap

When I was in elementary, I constantly worried people could read my mind and would try very hard not to think during class because of this. I still worry over this, but I recognize its absurdity. I won't bore you with all my other paranoid beliefs; suffice it to say I've quite a few in common.
Again, I recognize these thoughts are ridiculous and I think some part of you does as well. There was a time, however, when I could not distinguish my own delusions from reality. You seem to be at least somewhat self-aware, so I don't believe you are quite to that point yet. With that being said, please seek the proper help immediately because it gets much, much worse before it gets better. From one delusional soul to another: I know therapy is frightening.
The therapist is deceiving me-lying like everyone else. They laugh behind my back, but I know. I'm no fool. She's watching me. She's judging me. Is that her car? She knows-She's judging me. I told her everything. She thinks I'm a liar-you are a liar. You made it all up and she knows and she thinks you are pathetic you Liar Liar Liar. You can't see her anymore because she's mad at you. She hates you now. Shut up; stop talking. Shut up. Shut up. She hates you.
Trust me, I've had these thoughts for every single person I've ever come to know. Hell, I'm having them right now as I type this message. I imagine you've had similar fears, but -if you do have them-don't let them keep you from seeking therapy. That point I cannot stress enough. Seek help while you are able to recognize that you may need it.

Oh wow, since you were that young? I don't think I had the problem at that point... Although I remember literally, like, nothing about my life barely. Maybe most of it hasn't been that memorable? Idk, it's really weird...

But yeah, I'm sorry you had that problem... Must have been hard to deal with. I often try not to think sometimes too. If you couldn't distinguish your delusions from reality then how did you know about your delusions? Did you go to a therapist then as well or something? I wonder what that would feel like...

I definitely am self-aware. Whenever I'm really scared of something and start freaking myself out, I think I must be just making it up to be something it's not, but then again I keep freaking out and obsessing over it. Same with the paranoid about cameras/voice recorders/and thinking. I think about the fact that I'm probably wrong, but the thoughts of it usually override that and I can't get over it.

I've wanted to talk to someone for a while, but I'm not even sure why... I think it's more a an introspection thing. I want to go through all my thoughts and problems and just figure myself out. I'm very, very introspective. Probably obsessive. But that's about my other things, lol. THIS stuff is actually stuff that would be nice to get help with because I hate being scared and on edge so much. It really sucks. But then again, I don't know how I would go about that... I don't want to talk to my family about it... Although a little while back my mom suggested that I go talk to someone (another story). But I can't just say, "hey, I think people are spying on me all the time and reading my thoughts. I've even felt the need to watch my thinking around you. I want to go talk to someone." Like, I can't do that... And it costs money and stuff... But someday I hope to... Because I do feel like some of it's been getting worse.

And wow, those thoughts would be very distracting. I feel like I'm kinda like that sometimes, but not super bad like that. It always depends. I feel like they'd laugh at me if I actually did go in though, like, "Why are you even here?" But yeah, you're definitely right, it's better to get help with things sooner than later.

Oh, and just kinda thought of something. Let's see if I can put it into words though... A lot of times I'll be thinking something, or about to think something, but stop myself because I think that person might hear the thought. But sometimes I keep thinking things and I'll watch them carefully to see if they show any signs/reactions to see if they really can hear me. And sometimes then they'll say something and it basically confirms that they can, and then I'm on edge all the time and scared that they really can hear me. Idk. lol.

Thank you for your response!

[Dog on a Tree]

What you are going through and experiencing seems very stressful. I hope you can get help from a mental health professional and hopefully things will improve for you over time.

[sagemackhugo]

Originally Posted by Dog on a Tree

What you are going through and experiencing seems very stressful. I hope you can get help from a mental health professional and hopefully things will improve for you over time.

Yes, it can be! Thank you

[*Laurie*]

I think you would feel relieved if you spoke with a mental health professional about your symptoms, because living with that sounds very stressful.

btw, I really give you credit for being aware and reaching out.

[sagemackhugo]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

I think you would feel relieved if you spoke with a mental health professional about your symptoms, because living with that sounds very stressful.

btw, I really give you credit for being aware and reaching out.

Yeah I might feel a little better... I'm not sure how they could help with that, but maybe someday I'll look into it. And thank you!

[MiddayNap]

Originally Posted by sagemackhugo

Oh wow, since you were that young? I don't think I had the problem at that point... Although I remember literally, like, nothing about my life barely. Maybe most of it hasn't been that memorable? Idk, it's really weird...

But yeah, I'm sorry you had that problem... Must have been hard to deal with. I often try not to think sometimes too. If you couldn't distinguish your delusions from reality then how did you know about your delusions? Did you go to a therapist then as well or something? I wonder what that would feel like...

I definitely am self-aware. Whenever I'm really scared of something and start freaking myself out, I think I must be just making it up to be something it's not, but then again I keep freaking out and obsessing over it. Same with the paranoid about cameras/voice recorders/and thinking. I think about the fact that I'm probably wrong, but the thoughts of it usually override that and I can't get over it.

I've wanted to talk to someone for a while, but I'm not even sure why... I think it's more a an introspection thing. I want to go through all my thoughts and problems and just figure myself out. I'm very, very introspective. Probably obsessive. But that's about my other things, lol. THIS stuff is actually stuff that would be nice to get help with because I hate being scared and on edge so much. It really sucks. But then again, I don't know how I would go about that... I don't want to talk to my family about it... Although a little while back my mom suggested that I go talk to someone (another story). But I can't just say, "hey, I think people are spying on me all the time and reading my thoughts. I've even felt the need to watch my thinking around you. I want to go talk to someone." Like, I can't do that... And it costs money and stuff... But someday I hope to... Because I do feel like some of it's been getting worse.

And wow, those thoughts would be very distracting. I feel like I'm kinda like that sometimes, but not super bad like that. It always depends. I feel like they'd laugh at me if I actually did go in though, like, "Why are you even here?" But yeah, you're definitely right, it's better to get help with things sooner than later.

Oh, and just kinda thought of something. Let's see if I can put it into words though... A lot of times I'll be thinking something, or about to think something, but stop myself because I think that person might hear the thought. But sometimes I keep thinking things and I'll watch them carefully to see if they show any signs/reactions to see if they really can hear me. And sometimes then they'll say something and it basically confirms that they can, and then I'm on edge all the time and scared that they really can hear me. Idk. lol.

Thank you for your response!

When you are young, they call it being overly-imaginative. It is when this imaginative nature is carried well into the age of old-enough-to-know-better that things start to get troublesome. Most of my strangest beliefs were developed in high school.
To answer your question, I was not aware that I was delusional until after the fact. I am not really sure what caused the sudden clarity. One day, I simply thought: "My God. I was insane." That, I must reiterate, should not be taken to mean I was suddenly “all better”. But, self-awareness is the first and most difficult step towards healing and although I wasn’t entirely sure an evil spirit hadn’t been controlling me, the fact that I recognized the absurdity of the idea was a good sign. The journey through crazy was a long and gradual process and I've carried a few remnants into the present, I suppose.
Although I've attempted therapy, I never follow through with it. It's very difficult for reasons I've stated in my previous comment. I suppose I justify this by saying I am much better than I was and my fears haven't caused me to hide away from the outside world. The thoughts really aren't so bad. They are much quieter now and do not hold as much power over me.
I know this isn't the sort of thing that is easy to talk about-especially to those close to us. Because they've no experience in the matter, the most they can offer are perplexed stares and suggestions like "Maybe you should see a therapist". But support is very important. Isolation is to delusions as wood is to fire. Although I couldn't speak of it at the time-because everyone was deceiving me, of course-I have started doing so now and it is quite nice. I am lucky enough to have a bipolar father who can relate to this sort of thing.
My newest fear is that I will develop some sort of dreadful disease like diabetes or skin cancer or I will become horribly obese.
One of my delusions-the strongest of them-had to do with body-image. Basically, I feared that I was fat but couldn't properly see my reflection. Everyone else knew but were keeping the truth from me and were mocking me-but I new! They even changed the sizes on all my tags so I wouldn't catch on. Typical vain teenage stuff.
I also fear that I will cause my family members to develop these diseases. It quickly goes from "they might" to "they have and it is all my fault because I didn't warn them." It's sort of silly. So you ever fear these sorts of things?

[CaptainChaos79]

I don't personally but my significant other/bf....he does all this stuff too...he is 23 years older than I am. Personally I think he has late onset paranoid schizophrenia...but what do I know...I just studied psychology in college...but his case is different than yours due to age I am certain...I think both of you should seek help though because that ain't no way to live...it is miserable...seriously





Always feel like there are cameras in houses that are watching me or recording me. Always feel like there is someone in the house watching or listening to me, hiding behind a door, in a corner, etc. Think people are watching me through windows or cracks in the blinds or curtains. Feel like they're planning to break in and

Possible trigger:

torture me and kill me.

I'll stand/sit quiet for a long time listening for any clues if I hear anything. I'll listen closely by the door. Prevents me from moving or doing much. Have to sit/stand perfectly still and listen very carefully, have to breathe very slowly and quietly (makes it hard to breathe and my chest gets tight), can't do homework because it's too noisy turning pages and writing, walk VERY slowly and carefully, can't brush my hair, run water, or anything. Think of situations that could happen and what I could do. Make up possible situations that could be happening, a whole plot. I just become hyperaware of everything around me and my heart starts racing a lot, and I cry sometimes because I get so scared. Sometimes I’ll message someone saying how scared I am and that I feel like someone might break in

Possible trigger:

and kill me

, so I tell them that I love them and stuff, just in case I do die.

Always feel like there are cameras or voice recorders in the car that are watching/listening to me.

Always feel like the cameras in my phone and computer are being hacked by someone and they secretly watch me all the time. Feel like people can see my texts, emails, and other things on my phone/computer (people I know and people I don't know).

Often times will tape paper over the camera of my computer or phone so no one can see me, but I'm still scared that they can hear me. Sometimes in the bathroom I'll open a drawer and put my phone in it so no one can see or hear me.

Always feel like people can hear what I'm thinking, so I start thinking something but then in my head (without actually "verbally" thinking it, decide to change what I'm thinking so they can't hear what I was actually going to think. I'll purposely think certain things in case they can hear my thoughts.

Always wonder if their are certain people (parents, doctors, random people) who can read thoughts, or read thoughts of specific people (their children, etc). And like it's a known thing amongst them all but they all hide it from the ones who don't know it yet. Or after you reach a certain age you can hear thoughts or whatever and everyone who is of the age knows it but hides it.

Also always scared that their are paranormal things (ghosts, demons, etc) around the house or place I'm at (especially at night) and they can hear what I'm thinking, and will do something if I think a certain thing or something. And if I watch anything that has to do with anything paranormal.

Think my every move is being watched when I’m in a store or public place, so I become hyperaware of everything I do. Like I’m very nervous about putting my hands in my pockets or my phone in my pocket because I’m nervous they’ll see me and I’ll get in trouble.[/quote]

[possum220]

Hiya,

This is something that family may not be able to help you with. Even your Mum, despite the cicumstances surrounding it, has suggested that you see some-one. Maybe when things have calmed down she would be able to help you. I do not know how old you are but if you are in school maybe there is a school psychologist/counselor that you could speak to?

Feel free to chat here.

My spouse that left in crisis has this problem. The name of a town would trigger "a clue" as to why they should or not do something. It was like watching a spy movie. They were always looking for direction trying to second guess everyone before they even did anything. It is fear, paranoia. That is not so bad when you know what it is and are on medicine for it. The chest tightening up, I get anxiety attacks when in a shopping mall and then all of the sudden all these people swarming all over the place, I have to run outside of the building and get some fresh air. It also sounds like anxiety attacks. As for not being to do anything because of making too much noise, you are over focused on your surrounding around you rather than focusing on what you are doing. Try focusing more on just what you are doing at the moment and that should help alleviate the tensions you are feeling. Definetly talk to a professional who can give you the right medicines. It could be something as simple as a chemical inbalance in the brain. There is hope my friend, we can overcome phobias. Blessings...