[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I'm a little worried this is an impulse post, seeing as I've been turning this around in my head since the half-hour ago I got these results.

I do surveys online for money and I recently was involved in one that included (started off with, actually) an IQ test. According to the instructions, the questions were taken from real IQ tests, and an average score was 6/10 correct. An above average person would get more than 6.

I scored a 4.

And I thought I got at least 6 right...I thought I knew what I was doing.

So that's it then. I took a matrices test in the past that put my IQ at 106, but it would seem it's gone even lower. It's little wonder, really. I live on sweets and junk food roughly half the time, I'm depression-prone (apparently mental illness is linked to low IQ. Also crying kills brain cells), and I've done a bit of head-bashing self-harm in the past that may have killed brain cells. My memory is terrible, I'm abominable in math, and my mother says that these days I write like a retarded 4th grader, unlike how I used to be.

I understand intelligence as the most valuable trait a person can have, the biggest arbiter of value and worth. I've always thought that if I'm not intelligent, I'm nothing. And I am nothing, it's been objectively proven, repeatedly now. I'm useless. Don't bother giving me any crap about multiple intelligences, I'm terrible at almost all of them (verbal seems okay), or about mattering because you exist. That doesn't apply to most people. Gifted, talented people matter because they exist; below-average nothings like myself? I'm a waste of space. I knew it, but I suppose I still held out hope that I could improve, could fix myself.

This might explain, though, why I repeatedly failed out of college. Why I can't learn anything now. Why I lacked so much insight growing up and why I think I'm doomed now. It's no wonder I can't get hired either - I'm too impaired.

I kind of see no reason to keep living. There's nothing for me out there. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, perhaps if anyone knows some advice...stuff about dreams dying, maybe? I mean, any hope of success or self-worth is gone now. Or how to live without any pretensions of competence? I'm not sure.

I keep stumbling on people saying intelligence tests don't matter, don't measure it accurately. I don't really buy it. I suppose, I'm used to thinking in terms of high intelligence as a baseline - 120 is average, 150 is where "gifted" begins, etc. So realizing I'm probably under 100 implies I shouldn't even be living on my own or reading the kinds of books I do. Knowing I'm going to have a life completely devoid of value or meaning, of anything higher than the material because intellectual pleasures are beyond me hurts like hell. And on top of that....who loves a moron?

[smartiesparty]

This IQ method doesn't mean anything. I have a high IQ (or so the test said when i was younger),yet I can't learn/focus/ do anything. I failed all my classes last semester. I have been called dumb for my whole life. And I've had depression for a long time.
If you took another IQ test, you'd probably score a 8/10, another time maybe 2/10, who knows, then yet another time a 10/10. Even psychiatrist and psychologist have agreed that professional IQ tests for adults aren't very reliable. As this wasn't a 'professional' test(taken with a psychologist), it is even less reliable. Don't put yourself down because of this result, because it really does not mean anything.

100 is technically an average IQ, not low.

[TishaBuv]

Those were definitely not accurate results. From how well you write, I would even think the 106 you scored was lower than actual.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Okay, a few things now that my mind is winding down.

I supposedly tested as gifted as a child, but I never acted gifted. I had a psychologist suggest once that this was due to an attention disorder that went undiagnosed, but I don't know about that. There weren't any gifted programs where I lived, though I did get accepted to a magnet school when I was about to start high school (my mom and I decided against it because the commute would have been ridiculous). Yet for all this I did awful on the SAT, especially math.

Next, this trend of thinking I did well and I actually didn't has been going on for a while. I think I know what I'm doing but it turns out wrong. I don't know what to do there.

This mini test consisted of some number sequences, a few matrices, and some analogies and word problems. I have no idea which I got right.

I guess I look at all of this as signs of ability, what I can and can't do. I lack passion or even interest, so I figure I might have to rely on raw ability. And yeah, I have a lifelong fixation on intelligence as value. And a kind of intellectual FOMO. I admit I harbor fantasies of intellectual success, and am a bit afraid to pursue them if there's any good chance of failure...

A few times now I've had people say I must be smart because of how I communicate. Really? It seems to me that talking/writing one's thoughts is easy, it's the content of those thoughts that determines intelligence....

[DechanDawa]

I would say you were pretty intelligent in that you spread at your dilemma with the precision of a philosopher or lawyer. However, the test proved you wrong. What to do? i would say, counter attack, do not fold. You are far too competitive. You need new strategy. Think creatively. That's your golden egg, darling.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

I would say you were pretty intelligent in that you spread at your dilemma with the precision of a philosopher or lawyer. However, the test proved you wrong. What to do? i would say, counter attack, do not fold. You are far too competitive. You need new strategy. Think creatively. That's your golden egg, darling.

Precision of a philosopher or lawyer? LOL, I'm too feely to do actual hard thinking. Even when I do, the only reason I ever even went through any kind of existential phase was because I spent a bunch of time online around people who thought like that (and it happened quite late, compared to others). If I had been left to my own devices I'd probably have been shallow and mindless for my entire life.

If its self-understanding you're referring to, again, that's been building for a few years.

Yes, I admit, I am competitive, mentally. I know there's a fear of failure there that keeps me from ever acting on it. It's like I want a perfect plan of action guaranteed to fix me and make me good enough for myself before I even attempt anything. So I end up sitting online, watching anime, playing games, listening to creepypastas and being a forum rat. It's getting boring and I look at test results like these as evidence I shouldn't even try. Unless I should.

I probably do need a new strategy. Or a new brain.

[x123]

This is exactly why I have never taken an IQ and never plan to take one LOL. I already feel bad enough about myself without that.

We need to accept ourselves as we are. Even if you got 10/10 on the test, you could have felt disappointed and inferior for some other reason. With the internet and globalism linking all these billions into one community, there is always somebody better than you by any measure you choose. Anyway, that is my opinion. We need to find value some other way.

[IrisBloom]

I'm sorry, but I can tell from here you don't have a low IQ.

[TishaBuv]

[QUOTE=ScientiaOmnisEst;4801565]Okay, a few things now that my mind is winding down.

I supposedly tested as gifted as a child, but I never acted gifted. I had a psychologist suggest once that this was due to an attention disorder that went undiagnosed, but I don't know about that. There weren't any gifted programs where I lived, though I did get accepted to a magnet school when I was about to start high school (my mom and I decided against it because the commute would have been ridiculous). Yet for all this I did awful on the SAT, especially math.

I was in gifted in elementary school and got suspended from gifted because I wrote this funny, creative thing while I was in a math class where I didn't understand one thing that was being taught. I also think I have ADD that was never diagnosed. I have hardly ever finished anything. I jump into things, make a big accomplishment, get bored quickly and move on. I've actually done pretty well for myself. I was smart enough to succeed at what was important.

I would be afraid to take an IQ test today. They say you always keep the same IQ, but I'm scared I haven't learned what I should know and I've burned out a lot of brain cells!

[Pikku Myy]

I tested 164 on some sort of an iq test my podc game me when I was totally psychotic. Makes me laugh bc I feel like an idot, lol I would not be too worried if I was you just keep plugging along.

[DechanDawa]

Forum rat? Oh my goodness, is that a phrase people use? Enough to chase me away...at least for a few weeks.

[mugwort2]

I think you're reading too much into this one test. Yes it claims its from a real IQ test but is there a way to verify that statement. Gut feeling. Seriously doubt it. Plus IQ tests test both verbal and performance. You could be higher than average in either one.
You are definitely not worthless, a waste of space. You express your thoughts very well. I say that IQ test is waste of time. Its terrible this one test result is making you feel so low about yourself. My suggestion you should think how valid this test is. Personally I say its crap.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

I understand intelligence as the most valuable trait a person can have, the biggest arbiter of value and worth. I've always thought that if I'm not intelligent, I'm nothing.

Several other people have already written what I think about IQ=100=average and your score was above average.

I don't know who thinks that intelligence is the most valuable trait. I don't. I believe the most important trait a person can have is compassion. What good is intelligence without compassion?

Your self worth cannot be defined by a number.

[-jimi-]

I can just assume you feel you lost IQ points through mental illness. Yes that happens. When you're mentally ill, your brain doesn't work as well, it sort of goes without saying.

106 is not low, it is high normal. My cousin is a steady 110 and she went out in the world to make a difference. Very smart and compassionate person. So I really don't want to hear how 106 cannot bring you anywhere.

When I was really depressed I scored lower than normal on IQ tests. But after I got better, guess what? I scored well again! I bet if you take an IQ test while having flu it wouldn't go well either.

Work on your mental health and your self esteem and your IQ will come back up.

120 is not average, it is high. I've never met anyone who has 150, my brother has 140 and he is the smartest person I know.

Also people of low IQ can work really well in some areas, I used to work with a 15 year old kid who scored at 65 and he was one of the nicest and best workers at that workplace. He couldn't write well either but it wasn't part of his job.

[ChipperMonkey]

Yes, it's HOW you communicate! And yes, you do communicate quite well. An intelligent person can make conversation out of the most mundane to quite challenging topics. And yes, your posts do indicate that you're intelligent. I sort of poo-poo the idea if an IQ score. Some people have high scores but do nothing much with it. Others with a lower IQ may do much more. It is by no means a measure of your worth! Aaaaaannnnnnddddd IQ doesn't measure all types of intelligence! Some people are emotionally intelligent, others have social intelligence, and so on. And, if you're dealing with any sort of impairment (learning, mental), then your score can be negatively impacted.

Try not to worry about your score too much. You're SO much more than a number!

IQ tests are usually very narrow and only measure a certain type of intelligence, not usually emotional intelligence at all for example.

I only sat one IQ test at college and scored so low my lecturer told me I shouldn't have been on he course - he was being ironic as he used this to illustrate how inadequate a measure of intelligence these tests were. In class I studied hard and achieved good grades which I wouldn't have been able to do if I had been low intelligence. All the same I felt ashamed of this very public labelling - labels and judgements are powerful things, it takes confidence to rise above them.

A lot of things in life are down to confidence, know your own self worth and value and don't look to external validation - believe in yourself and your own strengths.

I'm going to refer to something in your original post. I'm not all nicey nice today, but I don't mean to be mean either. Let's say, someone, like myself, or especially my son, came across this post. He has severe learning disabilities, and I know my i.q. would be very low. You say you know you are quite useless and you don't see value in living. I've been struggling with this issue for years, worrying that I'm not worthwhile just because I can't compete on the same level as someone with a high i.q.
It's disconcerting to people like myself to make assumptions we aren't worthwhile. Even developmentally delayed people have worth. Re-think what it is that is valuable, truly valuable at the end of our lives. Have we helped anyone, animal, situation, etc., done our best to change in ourselves what we should, in order to be beneficial to this one and only life we have? Just my thoughts.

[-jimi-]

I know what you mean there. I haven't been able to have a paying job for many years, and so many times I have come across the attitude from those who cannot work anymore that their life is over (even if they have enough money to get by).

It used to hurt me tremendosly. I thought if they had a working career of 25 years and mine was like... one year? and they said their lives had no meaning, what did that make my life?

People who are hurting often do not know when they hurt others. They don't realize that people will take to heart what they say because they feel they only say that about themselves and no one else can have the "same" problem.

I sort of understand both camps in this though. As I said, I understand the hurt.

But I also understand how losing IQ is crappy, for me it was like this, in school I didn't have many friends, I totally sucked at gym class, I couldn't focus on what I found boring but at least my teachers said I was very intelligent. So losing IQ was (falsely) a loss of the "only" thing I had.

That said, I have another friend who is pretty much as smart as I, but she basically doesn't score anything at IQ tests. She doesn't understand the point even, doesn't understand the questions. Still she is an awesome out of the box thinker and a good artist. She can discuss on my level and she is also fun talking to. She feels a little down though because she doesn't score well on IQ tests, deep down she thinks she's stupid. I think that is sad. Tests shouldn't be meant to put people down! But it is easy to believe a piece of paper knows more about you than you do yourself I guess...

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I've calmed down a lot and regained a little hope after just stepping away and reevaluating some plans.

I know I say stuff that can be kind of...inflammatory, like intelligence being the main source of a person's worth. That's not completely accurate thought - it's a watered down way of saying I've always seen intelligence as the main source of my own worth. I'm not sure how to understand it any other way: if I'm stupid, I'm nothing. I guess it's a bit more politically correct, less whiny-sounding, to make a generalization rather than discuss a personal cognitive distortion.

So far most attempts to remedy said distortion don't really work: it doesn't make sense to me, on an intuitive level, to say that intelligence doesn't matter or development speed is meaningless. I end up lapsing back into the same beliefs and making all kinds of convoluted plans to "fix" myself and become/appear more intelligent. :/

[Pikku Myy]

My thought you are making observatins, conserned about tests, and coming up with conclusions about you. You are intelligent you process information quite well. No need to apologize. Huggles

[ChipperMonkey]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I know what you mean there. I haven't been able to have a paying job for many years, and so many times I have come across the attitude from those who cannot work anymore that their life is over (even if they have enough money to get by).

It used to hurt me tremendosly. I thought if they had a working career of 25 years and mine was like... one year? and they said their lives had no meaning, what did that make my life?

People who are hurting often do not know when they hurt others. They don't realize that people will take to heart what they say because they feel they only say that about themselves and no one else can have the "same" problem.

I sort of understand both camps in this though. As I said, I understand the hurt.

But I also understand how losing IQ is crappy, for me it was like this, in school I didn't have many friends, I totally sucked at gym class, I couldn't focus on what I found boring but at least my teachers said I was very intelligent. So losing IQ was (falsely) a loss of the "only" thing I had.

That said, I have another friend who is pretty much as smart as I, but she basically doesn't score anything at IQ tests. She doesn't understand the point even, doesn't understand the questions. Still she is an awesome out of the box thinker and a good artist. She can discuss on my level and she is also fun talking to. She feels a little down though because she doesn't score well on IQ tests, deep down she thinks she's stupid. I think that is sad. Tests shouldn't be meant to put people down! But it is easy to believe a piece of paper knows more about you than you do yourself I guess...

I can't work. I believe myself to be worthless in American society where you're only valued by your job/career. Most days I just don't want to be here anymore.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

I've calmed down a lot and regained a little hope after just stepping away and reevaluating some plans.

I know I say stuff that can be kind of...inflammatory, like intelligence being the main source of a person's worth. That's not completely accurate thought - it's a watered down way of saying I've always seen intelligence as the main source of my own worth. I'm not sure how to understand it any other way: if I'm stupid, I'm nothing. I guess it's a bit more politically correct, less whiny-sounding, to make a generalization rather than discuss a personal cognitive distortion.

So far most attempts to remedy said distortion don't really work: it doesn't make sense to me, on an intuitive level, to say that intelligence doesn't matter or development speed is meaningless. I end up lapsing back into the same beliefs and making all kinds of convoluted plans to "fix" myself and become/appear more intelligent. :/

Have you ever thought of looking at intelligence in different ways? I was doing care giving work with an adult with Downs. This person was so intuitively, emotionally intelligent. He seemed to be able to read my heart. He could tell what I was feeling even if I thought I was hiding my feelings. I really appreciated this and it made me both trust being around this person, and it was also a great comfort. I have been around other people with great jobs and lots of education and have been surprised at how little they could read emotions or even communicate clearly. It helps me to look at intelligence differently. (Some people think horses are quite dumb but I find them so emotionally intelligent its scary!)