I really need advice..

Hello all!
I'm new to the forums.
I was actually googling where I could get some advice for this
particular issue online, and I found this website. Anyway, to cut to the chase.. I need some advice. Some serious advice on what I can do to help this problem that I am experiencing at home.
I am 20 years old, and live with my grandparents. I am hit financially with student loans, (I am a cyber security major), and I work almost full time doing retail. But from the moment that I wake up, to the minute to go to bed, my mom is constantly hitting me with verbal and emotional abuse. It started with bed bugs.. Here we go..
She thought the whole house was infested with bed bugs (which it wasn't, I seen the "bed bugs" first hand, and they were fabric particles). Then, it escalated to my half brother "cutting on her woodwork", so she got a restraining order on him. She actually to a point convinced me that he was actually doing it, but now.. I know otherwise.
She is now, (since my half brother is gone), blaming me for every spot, scratch, hole, and dent she sees in EVERYTHING.
Not just including the house, but the car, the fence, the yard, EVERYTHING. She refuses to get help, and she insists that I do not know that I am doing this, and that I am sick. I know for a fact that I am not doing this. I have suffered from anxiety and things before, but I do not have multiple personalities like she is trying to say. She has called the police on me five times in the past two weeks because of this, and it has gotten to the point where they actually receive the call, talk to me for a few minutes and leave because they already know about the situation. They say I should leave, but I have no family because my real father and mother are incarcerated and no where to go. I have no friends that I can stay with, or a car right now to sleep in. I am currently saving the money for a car right now so I can get out of this situation and just sleep in the car, even considering that it will be in the negatives here very soon. I do not care, I just do not know how to handle this situation. She is seeing spots and scratches that have been in this house for well over 20+ years and is blaming everything on me. This is caused me to lose every bond I have ever had with her, every piece of our relationship has fallen apart because "I am sick and I refuse to get help". I have literally even made appointments with the Swanson Center to get help with this, to no avail. She refuses to talk to anyone professional, as they "all side with me because I am a compulsive liar and sociopath." Anyone have any input on this? Please any advice! ):

- Very desperate son

TheoBradley, wow! Just wow. I don't have any real advice or magic fixes for you. I'm sorry. I really wish I did. I will say I have lived in my car before, with dogs. In the winter they help keep you warm. If that's your only avenue of escape, get an SUV with a sizeable rear and some of those large cabiners to hang your bags up on the hand grips. It will give you more space.

Not knowing how old you are, I don't know what to tell you, except that if you're over 18 (as it sounds like you are), I would get out of there as soon as you can. Is there any way, after so many calls to the police that you can get her help whether she wants it or not? It really sounds like she needs a professional.

Also, if you don't have a therapist, perhaps you could look into finding one who is willing to work pro bono. I know mine does, but he's nowhere near you, I don't think. Unless you are in the very northern part of Indiana. I'm not saying you have a mental illness here, just that after so much mental and emotional abuse, therapy can do you a whole lot of good to pick up the pieces and get your feet on the fround.

Otherwise, I just wanted to say that what you are going through sounds truly challenging. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry you said you were 20. My bad. I get brain fog these days :-)

you'll be ok

a book for you to check out. Lester Levenison, Sedonna Method of release and also, Vernon Howard... little book of secrets. both taught me how to 'cease trying to make sense of crazy behavior'
Sandy

You said you live with your grandmother so it's your grandmother that's treating you this way? Is it possible she has the beginnings of Alzheimer's?..maybe you could call adult protective services & explain her behavior & how it's not safe for her living like that....they should come out & investigate & tell them about the police....I'm sure they have some written reports that APS could refer to also. They might deem her incompetent & force her to get some help.

Sometimes we have to leave bad situations...know working & school makes it feel impossible....but it's not. Staying may be more difficult.

Sounds like gaslighting.

Thanks for the quick replys! I actually thought about the beginning stage of Alzheimer's, because it is so with my pa.
He's pretty up there in the progression. And yes, I am 20. I do not have any diagnosed mental illnesses other than OCD.
I do not have a straightforward therapist at the moment, and my insurance only covers specific things here. (Yes, I am in Northwest Indiana). I am working as hard as I can towards a vehicle, and like you said, was thinking SUV.
I am currently trying to find a cheap point A to point B and place of rest, as I see this as the most logical option right now. I just needed some advice backing for this to take place, maybe a little piece of hope in my mind that my thinking is on the right track. Again, thank you for the swift replies. I will keep this thread updated with my current situation.

@Perma - Thank you! This term explains everything in a whole. I wish I would have read this before my previous reply so I could have mentioned this. Woah! I actually didn't know that this was a serious term! This sounds almost EXACTLY what is happening right now!

Yes!
This sounds exactly what is happening.

Glad to be supportive

Isn't gaslighting intentional?

If Grandmother's behavior is a recent development, I'd lean more toward a possible neurological problem. My dad is now dx with mild cognitive disorder and he has been changing right before my eyes - just over the last 1 - 2 years.

I agree with the poster who suggested an evaluation by adult protective services or maybe social workers or some other elder care resource.

Thinking of you xo

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