[tearsinabottle]

When I lay on my stomach at the chiropractor he slap me on my thigh when he is finished. He does this each time. I think its his way of saying "now you can turn to you side". The slap is hard enough to feel, like a good steady slap.

I am wondering if its common that the chiropractors slap their patients when he wants them to turn?

I wanted to ask a chiropractor free online, but I dont think I can ask such question.

[lowinmood]

I would see another chiropractor if possible and ask him/her if it's normal, or ask for a female chiropractor, if it is normal, you might feel more comfortable with a female anyway, and you have a right to ask - it's either him abusing his position, or it makes you feel triggered - either way, it doesn't sound like a helpful situation, I'd ask for a female if I was you.

[tearsinabottle]

Originally Posted by lowinmood

I would see another chiropractor if possible and ask him/her if it's normal, or ask for a female chiropractor, if it is normal, you might feel more comfortable with a female anyway, and you have a right to ask - it's either him abusing his position, or it makes you feel triggered - either way, it doesn't sound like a helpful situation, I'd ask for a female if I was you.

Hi lowinmood, thank you for replying. I wanted ask an online chiropractor about this because I may not find another chiropractor to ask around here in my area.

I picture myself if he would be slapping a man for example or an older woman and I must say it would seem weird if he did.

Just to say its not like he slap hard like it hurts, but the slap can be heard, like a good slap. Or is it called smack and not slap or they mean the same?

I cant remember him doing it the few first times I was there, but maybe he did. Its just these last days it has crossed my mind if this really is common or if it would be more normal that he tell me verbally that I can move.

Is it ok for me to ask a chiropractor online about this? I am afraid they will not answer me and think I am not serious. I think this in case its not normal. Maybe I should try ask an online chiropractor, I am just a bit scared of asking, but I guess it cant hurt. Either they dont answer or they do.

[tearsinabottle]

I have asked a chiropractic community online and hope they will answer. I dont know how long I have to wait for what they say. And I hope that the chiropractor that answer will be honest.

Duh! I just checked the contact information and the head office seems to be in India! I thought it was in England or Usa. I dont think I can trust whats coming from someone down there, not because they may not be honest, but they may have a strict view on things.

I have now asked a community in Canada.

[tearsinabottle]

I already got answer from first community and the doctor said my query is not clear.
I wrote exactly the same as I asked here. I guess he cannot possible have understood either because its NOT common, or that you need to write the whole story about you back as it also said I needed to fill out my problems.

I hope for a straight ansswer from Canada. Or I will have to find a chirpractor in my area even it will be a bit difficult. I will not ask another chiropractor at the center I go. I am bit paranoid about that even I am sure they have confidentiality. I dont want my chiropractor to know I have wondered about this.

Say hon, I'd say it was normal for him.

If you find it disturbing, just ask him to stop. If he persists, then I would find me another chiropractor.

I've seen a chiropractor and I wasn't slapped, I was politely told to turn over.

Tell him to save the slaps for his buddy boys.

I hope this helps.

[tearsinabottle]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Say hon, I'd say it was normal for him.

If you find it disturbing, just ask him to stop. If he persists, then I would find me another chiropractor.

I've seen a chiropractor and I wasn't slapped, I was politely told to turn over.

Tell him to save the slaps for his buddy boys.

I hope this helps.

Thank you for replying, AlwaysChanging,

that you were told to turn over makes me think maybe it isnt that common to give a smack.

I am attracted to him and he has sensed that for a while now. Maybe this can be a reason why he feels he can take the freedom to smack. Unless it is common. I am confused about it. It wasnt until my friend mentioned the idea of him smacking a man or an older woman that I became aware of that it sounds a bit too weird that it should be a too very common thing among chiropractors. I was very sure he smacked me just for the reason he wanted me to turn over. But to do that with a man or older woman seems a bit weird. I was thinking maybe the chiropractors are too lazy to tell their patients to turn over all the time, so they smack instead. That may sounds crazy and maybe it is.

I had another chiropractor for many years, at the same center, he still works there. He has never smacked me before in all that time.

I am waiting to hear the response from the online chiropractor to be totally sure if smacking is something they do. Maybe its just him doing it and that he is taking the freedom to do it because he knows I have a crush on him.

My friend was surprised over what I said, but me myself do not feel the same surprise. What I mean is that being a survivor of abuse I dont know what is normal or not in some situations.

[lowinmood]

Originally Posted by tearsinabottle

I am attracted to him and he has sensed that for a while now. Maybe this can be a reason why he feels he can take the freedom to smack.

Is this you blaming yourself for his actions? If it doesn't make you feel comfortable, than I'd tell him and get another one, he might be abusing his position. Let us know how you get on. I guess the other chiropractors don't want to confirm if it is normal or not as they would have to be there witnessing or not, so they couldn't comment or they could get sued.

I'd try get another one, and see if they do the same.

[tearsinabottle]

Originally Posted by lowinmood

Is this you blaming yourself for his actions? If it doesn't make you feel comfortable, than I'd tell him and get another one, he might be abusing his position. Let us know how you get on. I guess the other chiropractors don't want to confirm if it is normal or not as they would have to be there witnessing or not, so they couldn't comment or they could get sued.

I'd try get another one, and see if they do the same.

Hi lowinmood, no I am not blaming myself for his actions, not at all. I know it sounded like that. I am only wondering if it is common or not. If I knew it was not common I would not have to ask here and on chiropractor community.

I think you are right in that they dont answer my question because of what you say. I didnt think of that. This may mean they dont want to answer me at a center in my town either. But there must be somewhere people can ask about things like these and that they keep it confidential. I dont know how else I am going to know what is normal.

I had another chiropractor for years at the same center and he never smacked me when I should turn over. But he adjusted the bench and then after that he cracked my neck in a chair and not on the bench. So I dont know if the smack is something my now chiropractor do or if he should tell me instead.

[lowinmood]

I'd seriously try find a new one, what is he treating if you don't mind me asking?

[tearsinabottle]

Originally Posted by lowinmood

I'd seriously try find a new one, what is he treating if you don't mind me asking?

I have lower back pain, lumbago. I have some problems in the neck too. He treats me from my lower back and up and the neck.

It sounds to me that you mean he shouldnt smack at all. I dont mind him doing it though, but that is only because I am attracted to him and like him so much.

I just want to know if its common or unusual.

I just want to know if its common or unusual.

I think that it would be considered unusual in the US. I have only ever been to one chiropractor and that was quite a few years ago. I went regularly for nearly two years, though. The treatments do require a lot of touching. The doctor that I saw never, ever touched me unless it was required for treatment. He seemed to be very careful about that.

You might want to try asking people either in your own country or in a nearby country. It's possible that what's considered acceptable touching might differ from one area of the world to another.

There are a fair number of people from the Scandinavian countries who post on this website. If you put something about "Scandinavia" in the title of your post, you might be able to get opinions from some of them.

Another option would be to check to see if there is something like a Board of Standards for chiropractors (for example, if you had a complaint about something a chiropractor did, where would you report it?) That same place should be able to give you information about your question about touching.

I'm not exactly clear from your post whether you want your chiropractor to stop the "smacking" on the thigh. If you do but don't feel comfortable asking him directly to stop, if you said to him that you had started feeling anxious about coming for the treatments, that should make him more careful and aware when he's treating you.

[lowinmood]

Originally Posted by tearsinabottle

I dont mind him doing it though, but that is only because I am attracted to him and like him so much.

Perhaps you're wondering if he is attracted to you? Oh well, if there is attraction, enjoy it then!

Originally Posted by tearsinabottle

I have lower back pain, lumbago. I have some problems in the neck too. He treats me from my lower back and up and the neck.

It sounds to me that you mean he shouldnt smack at all. I dont mind him doing it though, but that is only because I am attracted to him and like him so much.

I just want to know if its common or unusual.

Oooh, you are wanting to know if he's "flirting" with you, like wanting to read his intent to see if he is slapping you because you're hoping he likes you back by asking is it normal for chiro's to slap their patients.

Is he married? Single? Seeing someone?

How about asking for a date when the treatments are over?

[tearsinabottle]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

I think that it would be considered unusual in the US. I have only ever been to one chiropractor and that was quite a few years ago. I went regularly for nearly two years, though. The treatments do require a lot of touching. The doctor that I saw never, ever touched me unless it was required for treatment. He seemed to be very careful about that.

You might want to try asking people either in your own country or in a nearby country. It's possible that what's considered acceptable touching might differ from one area of the world to another.

There are a fair number of people from the Scandinavian countries who post on this website. If you put something about "Scandinavia" in the title of your post, you might be able to get opinions from some of them.

Another option would be to check to see if there is something like a Board of Standards for chiropractors (for example, if you had a complaint about something a chiropractor did, where would you report it?) That same place should be able to give you information about your question about touching.

I'm not exactly clear from your post whether you want your chiropractor to stop the "smacking" on the thigh. If you do but don't feel comfortable asking him directly to stop, if you said to him that you had started feeling anxious about coming for the treatments, that should make him more careful and aware when he's treating you.

Hi jo_thorne, thank you for replying and advice. I might try put something about scandinavia in my posts. Maybe only a Board of Standard for chiropractors would be able to give a 100% true answer. I have tried ask in two chiropractor communities but non of them could give me an answer. The community in Canada said my query was difficult to answer since they didnt know stuff. I dont want to report him or anything. Its ok with the smack

I only want to know if its something common or if it is him having sensed I like him and so do it. He is nice, cute and charming and I have only good to say about him. I only wonder the smack.

Yesterday he paused a second before he would smack and the smack was very careful. I know when the smack comes so I know he paused a second. Not sure if he got distracted by something in the room or if he has been thinking about his smack and so gave a careful smack. It was barely a smack. But he winked when I should leave, as usual. He smiles and look at me.

He joked with me once, I joked back. He winks at me each time. Not creepy, but a good wink. I want to think he fancies me, but I know he is not emotionally available for me.

I want to think he fancies me, but I know he is not emotionally available for me.

Oh. I misunderstood. I thought that you were concerned about what he was doing.

[tearsinabottle]

Lowinmood, AlwaysChanging and jo_thorne. I am sorry. It was a bit embarrassing for me asking about a chiropractor smacking you because he may like you and that maybe that is why he does it. It felt better for me to ask if it was normal or not so I could both figure out if it is...I do want to know if it is, but if its not common then I would also know he may do it because he likes me. Not that it makes what he does any more normal if it was not normal or common. But I would have clue about why he does it.

I guess also I wanted to get a view on it based solely on if its common or not and not involve my own emotions and feelings into the picture as its then easy to may get a wrong view on it. Not wrong view but maybe not a concrete answer or a fact.

I dont mind him do what he does. But I would mind if another chiropractor did it.

He is taken. I would like to think in my heart that he fancy me and just that. The way he smiles and winks makes the sun shine. But I know it soon will be over with treatment. As I said to someone, one cannot always get what one want.

[tearsinabottle]

I also try not to feel so much or get too excited when seeing him because I have hurt myself so much in the past by chosing abusive and emotionally unavailable men. Past 5 years with two narcissitic/sociopathic men. A pattern I have had most of my adult life. Maybe this also is a reason why I didnt want to involve my own feelings here. I am on a healing path from abuse and have not yet managed to un-love the emotionally unavailable man.

The only different is I think my chiropractor is a very good man. He seems so nice. But then I wonder what the smack means, if its common or if he is some naughty or not. Still he is unavailable, so no pattern changed for me.

I think of the woman who has this man is a very lucky women. But what do I know. I wish in future I would be so lucky to find a man like him, but right now that future man is not him. Lol. I just have to move on again by time.

Oh well, enjoy it for what it is! I know I would!

[tearsinabottle]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Oh well, enjoy it for what it is! I know I would!

Well, yeah I guess, but I wish I would stop getting attracted to those who cannot love me back.

[lowinmood]

Originally Posted by tearsinabottle

Well, yeah I guess, but I wish I would stop getting attracted to those who cannot love me back.

I can totally resonate with what your saying here. I too end up in relationships with controlling and abusive men, and i used to go for men that were available, but then had a few controlling relationships, two which led to my first breakdown, then was single for a while, and subconsciously ended up being attracted to men that didn't like me and I knew would be horrible to me, I then went into another controlling relationship after that, and now have gone off controlling men completely now.

But recently I fell for someone who is a nice person, very soft, fairly feminate, has strong values and is passionate about discrimination, campaigns against it, so in my head he is the ideal partner, and there has been a lot of attraction between us, blushing, smiling when we talk, lots of eye contact, I let him look at my body and we smile when our eyes met after he's checked me out, etc, but cannot have him due to his position at work and me being a subordinate and me now being almost disciplined for taking time off work, what hurts the most is, I probably won't be able to go back to work there and I'll never see him again, I know I won't - but he was never going to be available to me anyway, and have known this for a while, and perhaps that's why I ended up being attracted to him, because subconsciously, he cannot hurt me like the others did if he is never mine in the first place.

But at least, if he thinks about me, he never got with me, and I never got the chance to destroy what could have been, so I'll have to walk away with good feelings about him, and hope he has good feelings about me, because usually when I get with someone it never works out, and either I ended up hating them or the other way round.

[tearsinabottle]

Originally Posted by lowinmood

I can totally resonate with what your saying here. I too end up in relationships with controlling and abusive men, and i used to go for men that were available, but then had a few controlling relationships, two which led to my first breakdown, then was single for a while, and subconsciously ended up being attracted to men that didn't like me and I knew would be horrible to me, I then went into another controlling relationship after that, and now have gone off controlling men completely now.

But recently I fell for someone who is a nice person, very soft, fairly feminate, has strong values and is passionate about discrimination, campaigns against it, so in my head he is the ideal partner, and there has been a lot of attraction between us, blushing, smiling when we talk, lots of eye contact, I let him look at my body and we smile when our eyes met after he's checked me out, etc, but cannot have him due to his position at work and me being a subordinate and me now being almost disciplined for taking time off work, what hurts the most is, I probably won't be able to go back to work there and I'll never see him again, I know I won't - but he was never going to be available to me anyway, and have known this for a while, and perhaps that's why I ended up being attracted to him, because subconsciously, he cannot hurt me like the others did if he is never mine in the first place.

But at least, if he thinks about me, he never got with me, and I never got the chance to destroy what could have been, so I'll have to walk away with good feelings about him, and hope he has good feelings about me, because usually when I get with someone it never works out, and either I ended up hating them or the other way round.

Lowinmood, I really feel with you and your pain and I know how much you can relate to me in this pattern. I have also chosed the one bad man after the other. And the one after the other was more and more horrible and unavailable. Like a spiral going only downwards.

It hurts to be attracted to those who cannot love us back. I come from dysfunctional family where I was emotionally neglected. Maybe you are coming from such a family too. Many times this is why we attract these men, we try to get the attention from these men to prove we at the end are lovable. Its a very sad reality. And like you say, if we chose someone who cant hurt us then we wont get hurt the way we have been. If we have been abused and neglected and/or hurt in childhood or later we chose the wrong men, get attracted to the wrong men.

Today I was at my chiropractor again and he smiled unusually at me today, I too did. Then he said before I sat down : "to believe, we do in the church!?" my heart made a little jump. Him waiting for me to answer as it was like a playfully half-question even the truth in it. I said "yes that is true" with a smile. I was wondering if he has been seeing my FB posts as I had just posted some quotes about difficult times and how the enemy always fights us the hardest when God has something in store for us. I wondered have he seen my FB posts or was it a coincident or maybe he quoted a political utterance. He has also posted on FB the latest week. I am stalking him a bit but just innocently. I only look if he has posted something. I know by his profile that he is very spiritual, maybe he believe in God too. I dont know. I think he may like numbers so I mentioned that today its 11/11 and today I have been here 11 times. I said this because two days ago when making a new appointment for me, he said 11/11. Only that. I said "11/11? oh yes the eleventh." So today I said the "11/11/11"..lol..

He smacked me again today..lol. I giggled a little and looked at him while turning and he smiled like he could have giggled as well. Maybe he understood I giggled because of the smack. I really think so.

When I was about to leave my chiropactor had to give me in the hands of the other chiropractor who sat in the reception. He is maybe same age as my chiropractor and I think they are like some who can joke together at work. My chiropractor was behind me then and the other chiropractor smirked/smiled/giggling a bit funnily. I dont know what happened behind my back, if he and my chiropractor had a secret internal joke or if my chiropractor have told him he thinks I have a crush on him. There was no one else there. My chiropractor sat in his office when I was to leave through the outdoor, having his office door open so I could look in and at him. I did eye him and he looked at me and we both smiled. I can see by the way he looks at me and talks to me and how he smiles when I look at him, that he knows and maybe he likes that I like him.

But at the end of the day he will only be a dream. It hurts. I need to try tone down my feelings. I will really miss my chiropractor when I am done there.

Or, to add, maybe he said we believe when in church because he wanted know if I am christian or muslim, since I still have my XNP husbands last name. Which is arabian. I got to tell him some days ago I am from my own country though.

I am sounding like a crazy woman in love, analyzing every tiny thing. Well, having a crush on someone can make you seem crazy.

Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy.

[lowinmood]

I resonate with everything you're saying here, and yes I came from an emotionally neglected background.

And the guy I liked at work, I analysed absolutely everything he did, said, his body language, absolutely everything, and I know I won't see him again, and it's adding to my depression, and I think the start of my depression was the realisation that he will never be mine, but oh well.

In my logical mind I'm thinking, if I experienced chemistry with someone recently, then it is possible I will experience it again with someone else, someone who I can date - I just have to be patient, and the same for you too.

[tearsinabottle]

Originally Posted by lowinmood

I resonate with everything you're saying here, and yes I came from an emotionally neglected background.

And the guy I liked at work, I analysed absolutely everything he did, said, his body language, absolutely everything, and I know I won't see him again, and it's adding to my depression, and I think the start of my depression was the realisation that he will never be mine, but oh well.

In my logical mind I'm thinking, if I experienced chemistry with someone recently, then it is possible I will experience it again with someone else, someone who I can date - I just have to be patient, and the same for you too.

I am sorry you have had a childhood like this too. We have wounds that are not healed. I struggle with depression too. I know how you feel. It can take the life out of us, but we need to try stay strong and be brave. Actually we are very strong people who have survived a neglected childhood. Some people will think we have some weaknesses about how we feel and our behavior, but actually we are very strong.

I can relate to your awareness that despression comes when realizing he wont be yours. I have been aware too that I have become depressed after realizing a man wont be mine. I do think when he have a crush or like someone, we get very high, like a drug and it feels so good. I think that we who are depressed, when that high goes away we sink deeper in depression for a while. Our drug was taken away. Its difficult for us to control this. The only thing we can do is try protect our feelings as much as we can so we dont sink too deep. Its hard, I know.

It hurts when we like, have a crush or love someone we cant have and like you I know I may never see my chiropractor again unless I need treatment again in some years. Even his work place is only 5 minutes walk away from my home I probably wont see him.

It is true what you say. If we have had experienced chemistry with someone before or several times we do know that we can or will experienced it again and with someone we can date. I really hope that in future even it seems grey now. I do hope we will be attracted to someone who we both feel chemistry with and who is emotionally available.

We need to keep up hope.

[lowinmood]

I feel exactly the same way, and my mind does think about him each day, it wonders off, and today I was remembering the looks the chemistry between us, even though I know for sure I'll never see him again.

I just hope, like you, I'll find that again with someone who is going to help me break this chain and that will accept me for what I am.