[Artchic528]

I have no clue what my dx is. I've asked my T and Pdoc and they both said they'd rather focus on treating the symptoms rather than solving the mystery of what exactly it is I have. I did take a peek at the sheaf of papers I am handed (to give to my pdoc to do whatever it is they do with them), but it just says "Non Specific Psychosis".

Guess I'm an enigma in the MI world. I don't belong to any one MI nor am excluded from any one MI. I'm just unique. Special. A one of a kind nutcase.

It doesn't help me when I seek help though, as I said, they would rather treat the symptoms rather than give me a specific diagnosis. So, I feel like I am in limbo. Up the preverbal creek without a paddle, so to speak.

Guess being unique and special isn't such a good thing after all.

I know that I am who I make myself out to be, and that I shouldn't let a diagnosis determine my fate, or who I am. It's just a whole hell of a lot easier to fight the battle if I have the right weapons, rather than blindly swinging my fists and hoping I get a lucky uppercut in.

*sigh* It's really bad when you don't even fit in with the world's outcasts......

[yagr]

I do not believe that you are an enigma. I've run into the same thing you are right now in which both my T and Pdoc have stated they are not interested in a dx. I had to tell them that while I can respect their interests, it is my interests that I am most interested in. I want a diagnosis (and I explained it quite like you have), and asked them point blank if they will assist me in this or do I need to go elsewhere.

It's nice that they share what their preferences are, but you are the customer.

[Artchic528]

Thank you yagr, I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who is without a specific dx. I really haven't looked at any other options, but this one seems to be financially the best, and as I am not the type of person with deep pockets, I don't think looking elsewhere is any more feasible right now.

I do understand that sometimes we have to pay a little more for better quality, but right now, my bank account can't handle it, nor can my parents, who help finance me for the time being.

Yes, I know I should start looking towards financial independence, I've been told that many a time. I'm, working on it. It's just really hard when the closest source of reliable transportation is a 45 minute walk down the road. Eh, I guess it could be worse, or I could make more of an effort. Maybe that can be my New Year's resolution.

Anyways, I'm rambling now. I'll just end this post with another thank you and hopefully more people will come alone soon with more helpful advice or kind, supportive words.

[yagr]

Actually, I have no options either at the moment. I didn't feel it necessary to tell them that when I asked my question though. If you feel better no making it sound so ultimatum-like though, you could simply tell them that you desire a diagnosis. When they tell you that they are more interested in working on symptoms than nailing down a diagnosis, then ask them this:

I understand. Ultimately, who gets to make the decision determining how I spend my time here?

No ultimatums. No threats. Just a question. At that point though, I think a diagnosis will soon appear.

[Artchic528]

Good idea. Might use it.

It is hard not "knowing" how to classify yourself, but that can work in your favor by not having an official label yet. Treat the symptoms and if it works, just keep going. A label is only good if your MI is a disability. There is no cure for MI.

Keep getting the help and avoid getting labeled at all costs. Psychotic would be along the likes of skitzoaffective or skitzophrenia by the way if not bipolar 1, but that has other symptoms.

What meds are you taking? If it's just an AP, then it's probably not bipolar with mood swings. Hang in there and I hope that you get well!

[Artchic528]

Thanks, AlwaysChanging. I take Abilify, Effexor and Buspar.

Ya, an AP, AD, and mild tranquilizer. Nice. If it's working your doing good...just a lifetime of pills to alleviate the symptom.

[Artchic528]

Buspar is a mild tranquillizer? You learn something new every day I guess.

[Permacultural]

Rather than seeing things as not fitting anywhere, it could be that you fit into a few different diagnoses, and your providers are either confused or haven't taken the time to review the criteria. It's very common for folks with MI to have more than 1 diagnosis, each diagnostic term also has different specifiers which can further confuse clinicians.

You could always ask to be referred to a clinical psychologist for psychodiagnostic testing.

Also, you could ask them, "what are the differential diagnoses that you have considered?" A differential diagnosis is basically a fancy way of saying, I'm not sure whether this person meets criteria for these 8 different diagnoses, but I've considered them. Asking them for your differentials is asking them to speculate about what they have considered, or, what they are still trying to figure out.

[Permacultural]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Buspar is a mild tranquillizer? You learn something new every day I guess.

It's an anti anxiety med that doesn't lead to dependence or withdrawal, like Xanax or klonopin would. Buspar is also used off-label to enhance the effects of an antidepressant that the person is also taking.

[waggiedog]

Hello there and good day. I've been in your position for over 30 years and that's why my behaviour was so bad and not ''normal''. Of course I KNEW it/I wasn't normal, knew it from the age of around 16.
By the time I was 18 I was in and out of the psych hospital for overdoses and self harm. I thought that the way I was presenting myself was as though I had bi~polar, my moods were very very extreme up and down. The Dr's just called me a ''time waster'' etc. I now find it so very sad and bad that nobody did diagnose me because it turns out just 5 years ago Dr's decided I was showing every symptom of Borderline personality disorder. Along side severe eating disorders and depression and GAD. Since being dx'd I have medication that's correct for me so no more mood swings. I understand that once you have a ''label'' you have it for life, but if you go undiagnosed officially, then Dr's don't put themselves out to help you. For me the official Dx proved to be the best thing that could have happened.

[spondiferous]

I can totally empathize. I was hallucinating (auditory as well as visual and tactile), I had all kinds of other stuff going on, and eventually what happened is I ended up with a string of diagnoses: borderline, panic disorder w/ agoraphobia, dissociative disorder, eating disorder not otherwise specified, depressive disorder, OCD, and then of course my history of addiction.
I saw another psychiatrist very briefly several years after all of these diagnoses and she said that, in her opinion, she'd scrap the rest of it and say I had a severe and prolonged case of untreated PTSD.
In the beginning the labels were important to me so I could get help, but what I found was that I wasn't 'enough' of any one thing to get the help I needed, and by the time I did start getting attention for my 'labels', the only one anyone seemed willing to focus on was borderline, and even then only as an excuse to ridicule, shame and invalidate me - in their estimation, the only reason I could possibly be in the emergency room was because I was attention-seeking. It had absolutely nothing to do with my other symptoms. Ironically, out of all of them, the borderline is the only part I don't have a problem with; it was misdiagnosed.
I don't really know what the labels mean. I know that I cannot take most meds, I'm supersensitive to stimulation of any kind, and my life is a living hell more often than not. I'd say if you think the labels will help, then push to get another opinion. I've found that even with them, I'm still pretty much on my own, not only because of the aforementioned reasons, but also because the symptoms are so acute and so random that even the well-meaning professionals, few and far between as they may be, have absolutely no idea what to do with me.
If it gets hard (or when it gets hard, as the case may be) and you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. I usually check in every day, even though I may not actively post in forums all the time. Good luck with it all. It can be such a pain in the ***.

[avlady]

i am sorry you are in this situation. i had my diagnosis changed several times in the past 30 years and am getting the right meds for my symptoms just since about 3 years ago. it took alot of patience and we are all like mice, experimental to these drugs. i'm not worried although because recently i've been feeling alot better and the testing was worth it. i hope you get well!!good luck!!

The last thing I want to do is "fit in" because it inherently requires you to change who you are. And that's not a good thing.

When I enlisted in the military I was stripped of my individuality and became anonymous. Yes, I fit in, but I was no longer unique.

So, Artchic528, you are unique. A person who will do the right thing even when power (authority or a group) tells you that if you do the right thing you will not fit in.

We are all unique, individuals, and heroes. As long as you remember that, then you DO fit in.

We all fit in.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by kindness

The last thing I want to do is "fit in" because it inherently requires you to change who you are. And that's not a good thing.

When I enlisted in the military I was stripped of my individuality and became anonymous. Yes, I fit in, but I was no longer unique.

So, Artchic528, you are unique. A person who will do the right thing even when power (authority or a group) tells you that if you do the right thing you will not fit in.

We are all unique, individuals, and heroes. As long as you remember that, then you DO fit in.

We all fit in.

Thanks for the kind words, Kindness. You truly are kind, as your name suggests. I'm learning to deal with my "unique" set of symptoms and how to lead a semi productive existence. Maybe I stick out like a sore thumb, but I'd rather be a throbbing red thumb, doing my own thing, than a conformist flesh toned finger any day.

[amandalouise]

maybe this will help. Non Specific Psychosis used to be called Psychosis NOS. short version non specific psychosis is the name of your mental disorder. it means you have hallucinations and delusions that are treatable and you have mood swings. it is in the category of schizophrenic type mental disorders. usually medication works to treat the symptoms.