[FNCrazy]

Anyone ever feel like that?

I'm getting hit with huge stress from about 800 different directions. My stress techniques? Have none...Tried some of them, just can't keep my head from thinking of 10 different things all at once.

It's gotten to the point where even motorcycle rides don't destress me, and that's the only thing that used to.

I'm living with my fiance, which is great, she's my rock. She has two kids, I have one. I have mine 3 days on, 3 days off. She DID have hers week on, week off. Now though, she's had to take them full time due to a coke head ex boyfriend who's been arrested THREE times now for violating the restraining order she has against him, so it looks like we'll be getting sole custody of her two kids. I love her kids, but we NEVER get time away, and her 3 year old is just um, crazy.

Every time I pick up my son, every time, I always think "this will be the time that I won't be able to be a father." Don't know why, it always goes great, just paranoid about my lack of abilities. Now, I essentially have 3 kids. My fiance's sister lives with us, takes care of the little ones during the day, but does nothing else, so the last thing she wants to do is watch them while we go out for a night out.

I'm used to a quiet household, but it's just freakin' bedlam now. No way to get away really.

Plus, we're still having to deal with her ex and his threats, his attempts to brainwash his son (8) over the phone.

Work...Something's in the works that may or may not go through. If it does, means more money but a ton more responsibility. If it doesn't, stuck in a job that barely is able to afford the 6 of us (plus my ex-wife's "fee").

I'd love for my fiance and I to be able to take a vacation, just don't know how that's going to happen.

Now, I find out that in addition to my slew of other problems, I may be Bipolar. Not that big of a deal really, putting a name to symptoms I already have I mean. Might be a relief in some way, then that can be treated as well.

I don't know, the only way i've been able to keep the 10 different voices out of my head is to drink, and that only got out of hand, so I had to quit, despite my "better" judgement!

Grrrrr......

<font color="#000088"> I understand exactly what you're talking about. You feel like your life has been flipped upside down,and you can't get away from all the crazyness. You just want some peace and quite,even for a minute, but that seems to be impossible. You feel like you're on a Merry-go-Round that won't stop,filled with noise all around you. I've been in that place before,it's miserable,you feel like ripping out your hair.
But don't give up,there's a way to handle kid's that they enjoy that can calm them down,and give you a chance for some peace and quite.It just might work,I've done it before when I was a Nanny taking care of 5 children,all under 11,when I needed some peace and quite.I made popcorn,but I included them,and made it like a kids party,with a movie of thier choice.I even let them help with the popcorn making,and they had fun,which makes them get tired faster.Then we put the movie in,and before the movie was even half through,they were all asleep.It was only about 8-8:30PM,so I had the rest of the night of peace and quite! You ought to try it,and just see if it works,it's worth a try!
I used to say the same thing all the time,"Stop the World,I want to get off",so it was funny I saw that! It reminded me of me!Nice to meet you, and good luck! </font>

[FNCrazy]

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Justice said:
<font color="#000088"> I understand exactly what you're talking about. You feel like your life has been flipped upside down,and you can't get away from all the crazyness. You just want some peace and quite,even for a minute, but that seems to be impossible. You feel like you're on a Merry-go-Round that won't stop,filled with noise all around you. I've been in that place before,it's miserable,you feel like ripping out your hair.</font>

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That is, 100%, EXACTLY how I feel. But, actually, I went one step further and shaved my hair all off!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Justice said: <font color="#000088">But don't give up,there's a way to handle kid's that they enjoy that can calm them down,and give you a chance for some peace and quite.It just might work,I've done it before when I was a Nanny taking care of 5 children,all under 11,when I needed some peace and quite.I made popcorn,but I included them,and made it like a kids party,with a movie of thier choice.I even let them help with the popcorn making,and they had fun,which makes them get tired faster.Then we put the movie in,and before the movie was even half through,they were all asleep.It was only about 8-8:30PM,so I had the rest of the night of peace and quite! You ought to try it,and just see if it works,it's worth a try!
I used to say the same thing all the time,"Stop the World,I want to get off",so it was funny I saw that! It reminded me of me!Nice to meet you, and good luck! </font>

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That's a very good idea, and I think it will work very well, i'll try it. The problem unfortunately, is less about WHAT the external problem is, and more about my internal craziness. I would take a vacation ANYWHERE and pay ANYTHING if the only thing in the brochure was "leave your brain behind, we've got a spare here that works like new."

No matter where I go, my brain tends to follow...Weird.

Thank you so much for your post, I was beginning to think I was invisible!

[January]

Hi Jeff,

If you are bipolar, your meds will help your mind to calm down. Please go to a psychiatrist and get some meds. It sometimes takes 4 - 6 weeks to see a difference, and sometimes it's pretty immediate. Be patient enough to give it time.

Some children don't go through their "terrible twos" until they are three. I know that's not much comfort, but at least it's an explaination.

I wish you the very best,

Jan

[FNCrazy]

I am seeing a Psychiatrist (well, a PMHNP) now, who after 3 visits said we need to investigate the possibility of Bipolar at my next appt. This after 3 yrs with a Psychiatrist who kept prescribing anti-depressants, then prescribing something to chase a side effect, then another something or other to chase a side effect of THAT.

I'm much happier with this new person, even if she's not technically a Psychiatrist. She actually listens instead of the 10 minute, how are your meds, here's something else to treat a side effect, see you later.

If there is anything out there that can quiet my mind, i'll be eternally grateful. Currently, I just started taking Cymbalta, but have been on Klonopin and Xanax for my anxiety & panic disorders...None of them quiet the mind...Helps a little sometimes, but only when I take more than prescribed.

Thanks for replying January!

[January]

Hi again Jeff,

Your PMHNP won't know how to increase your meds if you don't tell her the lower doses don't help. Lamictal is the best bipolar med I've ever taken, but each of us is different. I currently am not on any meds for the bipolar, but the meds for the other problems help keep me going well enough.

I have Panic Disorder, so I have to take xanax, too. It made my life more than just an existence. I'm doing really well now, all things considered and don't have to take the whole amount that I am prescribed. If I need it, it's there, but if I don't, I don't have to do it.

There is hope. Believe me.

Jan

[FNCrazy]

Thanks January!

Lower doses NEVER work for me, so i'm sure i'll be upping the doses next time. My Xanax is 2mg and it takes two to even feel it, Klonopin is 1mg and I haven't yet taken a dose where I can feel it, but that's more of a longer term drug. I was on Zoloft at 200mg (I think) before. I just got on Cymbalta, and she started me at 30mg just to see if I have side effects, etc.

It would be nice to explore some of the bipolar options, see if they can quiet my mind. I think I would be a truly different person if I could stay focused, have thoughts come one at a time, shut it down a bit when I need to. In fact, I know I would. I would be a completely different person. In thinking about it, there are so many ways I compensate for it, it would be very strange to not have to do that anymore.

Anyway, not getting my hopes up, but it would be very nice if I could find something like that.

[Dulcinea]

I do feel like that too. Or just like I wish I could be normal for a week or so and get ahead. I'm from the Willamette valley. Have you gone fishing yet?

[DePressMe]

Hi Jeff, I too have had periods of time where the world seems to be eating me alive. Thanks goodness things generally get better! Getting meds straightened out can be tough—I hate that rollercoaster. I understand about maxing out on meds—I max all of mine out—its just how my body works.

<font color="#000088"> I'm also Bi-Polar,and the medication that helped me get off the world I wanted to get off of was Topamax! It does have it's side-effects,like after awhile it effected my short term memory,but that world I was on before,it was well worth the trade. The benefits of the medication was worth the side-effects. Now medications don't always work the same for everybody, but maybe you ought to try it out,and just see if it works for you,if it does, you will feel so much better with the racing thoughts,you'll feel like you got a new brain!
I even started losing weight a lot faster after I started the Topamax,once it had time to fully start working,so it actually helped with more than just my Bi-polar. I'd highly recommend it,and if you do try it,I wish you the best of luck.
I take Valium for my Anxiety when I need it,but I mostly just take it as a mustle relaxant for my spinal injury,so it works for both! 2 birds with 1 stone,you know!
I used to think I needed a Lobotomy,before I got on the Topamax, it was a real life saver for me.Maybe it can be for you to! </font>