Issues don't fit in one box

Hi everyone,
I haven’t been diagnosed yet- in which I suspect a few illnesses from the research I’ve done and stories I’ve read. However, I thought I would see my GP on getting diagnosed in two weeks, it’s fairly complicated, as much as I would like her to diagnose me, I’ll probably have to see a psychiatrist or Psychologist ideally as its more emotional, I’m not hallucinating or having flippy mood swings (I reworded the obvious as best as possible).
I have physical sickness, although I’m usually fine on heart medication (which has no side-effects as its been lifelong) it doesn’t feel right getting a mental diagnosis, and I won’t be able to go on other medication and I could be misdiagnosed which would freak me out even more.
Some background information is we (family) moved around a lot for various of reasons and the most remote places for a couple of years, I’ve been to so many terrible schools and met terrible people and I’ve settled in a more civilised city maybe.. for 3-4 years?. So obviously some of my past has plagued me.
But here’s the kicker, what really made my life a living hell, is that my brother has Asperger’s syndrome, my parents had been controlling and has some mental issues as well due to their past lives as kids. So I’ve always been emotionally strong?- I suppose, more rational. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family to bits but I also want to tear them to bits. In real world situations I mostly made the decisions without much support, but then there are moments when they are really beautiful.
Lately my little brother who is an adult been more out of control, which is very angry and violent. I’m just about to get some work and I’m also doing university, and all my parents can do is to have a go at me all the time!. I’m usually passive and don’t say anything back, but recently I had a massive blow-up with my brat brother for some trivial reasons, hence my parents lash out at me and ‘I need to be mature’. Seriously, they can have their problems and react much more badly (I intervened plenty of times when they punched each other) then I did. I was so angry that I stayed over the hotel for a couple of nights and came back. Which gave me time to think about the diagnosis thing.
I recognized depression before teenage years, and a little older was anxiety. However I seem to qualify for inattentive ADD which makes some sense as I drift off to another world and can’t focus on stuff I don’t like- which I thought about that just recently. Most of the symptoms seems to associate with PTSD, most noticeably dissociation/derealisation- the one that times seems to slow down. I can’t exactly pin-point which stage of my life was the most traumatizing, to recap the long message- I’ve moved around a lot and met bad people and have a complicated family, I can’t help but feel it was another situation much which should be another topic for later really. There is no question in this, I’ll like to hear some advice and stories.

Hi there,
welcome to PC!
I find that focusing on a diagnosis is often not very productive. Your story tells more about you than any label could.

PC is a great place to share. It helps to exchange some opinions and experiences with others here. I was very isolated when I grew up and I wasn't really allowed to have an opinion or to voice my truth. So it feels great to have a place where people share their stories and give their opinions. Usually people on PC don't judge and ask a lot of questions.

I am 26 and I also struggle with family problems and depression/anxiety/weird conditions that don't make sense to me or anyone else. Some of the therapists that I have talked to so far also used the "box metaphor" to make it seem less like an endless pile of problems. So I have an abuse box for example, but my experience is that the problems don't just always stay put there. My traumatic past influences my behaviour in many ways and if it were just so easy. Still struggling

I hope you find the support that you need and can relax a little bit and focus on your own life. Sounds like you have been responsible for way too long.
Hugs!

you probably also have seperation anxiety disorders because you've moved around so much. i know i would. it could bring on reasons for you not liking alot of the people you've met, maybe not liking them is a way of dealing with the seperation of leaving them? don't know but just a guess. i hope you can settle down in one spot in the rest of your life, but maybe you've got a gift now of being able to go alot of places and like to travel. i know i hate to travel, but some people can do it alot. good luck

@Avlady
I don't disagree with the SAD. Its more of a grown up version of it, as I'm not a child. I don't really form close relationships to many people because of obviously I had to deal with a variety of people, usually negative and I just don't have time and the patience to try to form friendships especially other women my age because my experiences in life are much different to theirs and I've haven't had a serious relationship with a guy so its hard to express my feelings to the one. Plus not many people get why I'm family-orientated, I've been stuck into this role for too long and it can be hard to be selfish by not assisting them financially and emotionally. Thus, I am getting employment to save up enough to get a loan on a car and move out my own. The hotel dilemma was the first time I've moved out my own, so I obviously have the life skills of budgeting, staying safe and all that.
I appreciated the response, thankyou.

@LittleOwl2006
I agree, its not all that fun to wonder what's wrong!. I think expressing myself here is a nice place to start, obviously I will see my GP soon and get proper help, the therapist thing is what I fear the most, is that they will exaggerate everything, but hopefully you had a nice experience and that seems interesting with the box metaphor. Thankyou for the response

latina117
You sound like an amazing young woman. I am a mother of an Aspie and I know how difficult life can be. The main focus is always on them. I believe that you parents love you a great deal, but living with your brother has made things even harder for them. I recently started at the university as well and I use all of those negative feelings to motivate me in my studies. If you never needed meds before, why start now? Stay Strong