Need somebody to listen...

I just wanted to tell someone this but, lately I haven't been feeling right. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I go into this state where I'm drowsy or sleepy like and in it I start to act a whole different person.
I'm begin to act weird and say the most random things, whistling tunes and what can seem as silly but then there's another side. I'm emotionally unsteady, the way I talk changes (I start to cuss I a lot), and my demeanor can go from cold and calm to irritated and about to lose it. Because I never show high emotion outside my head, they don't see the fits or the emotional distress I go through. I argue a lot with the voices in my head so I have a lot of emotional trauma from it.
After, the worst there's a personality switch to a softer side that reminds of submissive woman that keeps accepting her abusive boyfriend just to get hurt again to another personality that's still submissive but in a way that reminds of a situation where he's getting abused/influenced by his friends who take advantage of him and make him do things that are wrong or dangerous but he's trying to fit so he does it anyway.
And yes, I said "he" and "she" before. My personalities switch genders all the time. After this cycle, everything just goes numb and dull and I can't feel anything except anxiety for something to happen the next day.
It took me two hours just to write this and I'm not good at expressing myself so probably it's hard to understand. I tried telling my counselor/psych. about these things but it's a total failure. I feel like nobody listens to me and the only you can get attention is if you do something dramatic like self harm, which by the way I'm leaning too.
It's so frustrating but nobody takes me serious!

Have you checked out the forum here, for members with "MPD"? If not, maybe starting there would be most helpful and supportive for you. I don't know, as I do not have personal experience with different personalities. But, imo, it's certainly worth giving it a shot.

Dissociative Disorders - Forums at Psych Central

I hope that you find the understanding and support that you need ~ very best wishes sent your way!

Hello miss_rainy: The Skeezyks has some sense of your frustration when it comes to people not taking you seriously. I have often felt the same way... to the extent that, at this point, I just keep it all to myself. It does no good to talk about it... so why try? When I have, in the past, I just ended up feeling exposed & foolish.

It's particularly distressing that your counselor/psych is not being at least understanding & supportive, if not helpful. But that doesn't really surprise me either. I'm tempted to suggest that perhaps you should try to find a new therapist. But I know, based on my own experience, that this often isn't helpful either. On the other hand I have read posts, here on PC, written by members who believe that their therapists saved their lives. So I presume there must be really great ones out there. The trick is to find them. Perhaps that's why it's important to keep looking.

short version diagnosing mental disorders is a very complicated thing. there are many different things that can cause a person to appear to have different personalities, mood swings, gender switching.

example I know someone with schizophrenia who shows the same symptoms and problems in identical ways you do, as does someone I know with Alzheimers, bipolar disorder, cancer, depression, and many more.

sometimes I know it does feel like treatment providers dont take their clients seriously. part of this is a treatment providers training where they are not allowed to jump to conclusions and slap a label on someone with out being sure of the diagnosis. another problem is the fact that now diagnosing mental disorders includes the diagnostic criteria that the problem can not be better explained by another medical or mental problem. I know someone who was so sure they had DID\dissociative type alters but then actual diagnostic evaluations and such showed their problems were better explained by autism and bipolar disorder.

to get actual diagnostic testing so that you and your treatment providers will know what your mental disorders are..go to your medical doctor. explain to them you want diagnostic testing for mental disorders. your medical doctor will do a referral to a psychiatrist. the psychiatrist will have you take a full battery of tests in all areas, this testing can be very time consuming and can take many visits and then possibly months to get scored but eventually when the reports are in you and your treatment providers will know whether you have alters relating to any number or mental and medical problems or if its normal for you and your history.

treatment for what you posted varies....sometimes its medication and talk therapy, sometimes its learning grounding, breathing exercises and sometimes its more aggressive treatments like ECT if the problem is a medical problem related to how your brain is processing things, like seizures, misfiring neurons and other medical problems relating to how the brain works.

my suggestion contact your treatment providers. let them know how you are feeling and what you want from them.

Thank u. At least Someone knows what I'm talking about. I heard a lot about that, finding a new therapist. But it's so hard to find one especially specific to what you're going through. not only that but simply trying to find one that takes your insurance. I've been trying to look for Some on my own but I'm getting really frustrated and overwhelmed by looking for them. I guess I'll just have to keep going because that's the only way you will find a good one, right. It's just kind of annoying and nerve racking to tell your story over and over.

Thanks I did used to post there but I don't think I fit the category of mpd. I guess dont have all the symptoms. Though, I could again, no disease acts perfectly the same way with each person.