You see-- it's response like Directions that have left me in my life to usually NOT say anything. I was told to "lighten up" after being held at gunpoint(in my back) for 4 hours when I was 8 by a crazed teenager.... that it was not a big deal, and was left to work out all my own traumatic situations-- like being held by a neighbor repeatedly against my will when I was 6...... "get over it" is what I was told and no one there so console my shaking 6 year old body after horrible nightmares...... but what the hell-- lighten up right!?

I knew I shouldnt have said anything-- why did I expect to have understanding???

mandy

((Mandy)) you had every right to say what you said! I hope, really hope someone can come to their sense and see this isn't the place for fund drives or special forums. OUt of interest I could donate and wouldn't not in a situation like this. You could have everyone posting that this has happened or that has happened. Where does one draw the line. I am glad I spoke up, some can't!

I checked with my husband if I am over reacting, he agreed this isn't the place!

[okiedokie]

Hi Mouse,
Glad to see you changed your mind about resigning.

I don't agree with you on this subject, but that's one of the great things about PC and about RL, people don't always have to agree on everything! And that's ok. I hope that people would still feel like they can post their thoughts and feelings and not be offended or feel hurt if people don't agree.

It's easier for me to recognize this easier on some days than on others, of course, depending on how I'm feeling within myself.

Just my two copper...
Take care,
Okie

I haven't changed my mind, it takes 42hrs I think. I just hope the 1 person this sort thing helps is worth the price of the many others that maybe effected. I am sorry for what happened but it seems some people have stronger boundaries with their own flesh and blood then they would do here. I;m sure the police are capable of handling this situation.

mouse, i'm sorry that you feel so strongly about people here needing help and receiving it in such a generous and heartfelt way.

i qualified for the supporters forum ages ago because i had a poem in a book that Dr. John published and then sold to raise money for the fund that he has here. i rarely go there. it's just like General to me.

the police are handling my case, but police departments don't usually make donations to victims of fraud. i filed charges.

i feel that i've been supportive here for years and will always continue to support any poster that i feel competent enough to support.

i think it is a significant plus to belong to a community that loves enough to help someone, anyone, out when they need it.

i respect your decision to resign. i wish you could see the positives here and wish you luck whereever you go.......xoxoxo pat

((((((((((((FAY)))))))))))))))))
I agree with you. I have never been to that forum , but your post speaks tons.
Mouse I hope you stay..........

[Fuzzybear]

(((((( mouse )))))

I hope you decide to stay........

[radio_flyer]

I am glad you posted, mandyfins.. I understand what you are saying. The key is, you are good enough.

[Fuzzybear]

If certain levels of contributors wish to form a type of alliance network for others of that status, fine. BUT by broadcasting it to outside members and establishing some type of status requirements to it just encourages resentment and a sense of group or gang formation mentality. "If they want to group under special requirements, then we will group together with special requirements."

I do not think this will get off teh ground easily now that this has been publicized.

Lori

[radio_flyer]

Guess I should have read more closely the whole thread. I did not know that folks did not know about the private forum. I agree, if folks knew about it, it would not "be" so secretive..Guess it is the "secretive or private" part of the forum that upsets folks.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
radio_flyer said:
Each and everyone of us, that visit PC has the opportunity to achieve the requirements to go to the private forum. No one is excluded.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Yes, and how are we supposed to do that if some members were not even aware of this in the first place?! Whereas other members, clearly, were in the know all along.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
We are all worthy.. Maybe we should "prove it".. instead of feeling defeated or left out.....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

So people who were not even aware of this in the first place need to 'prove' themselves?! If that doesn't smack of exclusion, I don't know what does. I have been supportive here and never asked for support in return (except once). So, what else am I supposed to give or prove?

This is supposed to be a supportive forum. How do you think some people feel when they have been dismissed all their lives, and lo and behold, same thing here. But then again, who cares. Some are clearly not good enough to be in the in-group.

[Taonuviel]

Hmmm...
I hadn't heard of the private forum until the post for help for fayerody, but I was gone for a while, so maybe I just missed it. I kinda like the idea of a private forum, but for (maybe?) different reasons. It seems like it could be an even safer-feeling place to post, where those who see it are only those who are identifiable to the PC moderation crew because of their money-link, or those who have invested so much time into the site it's rather unlikely they're some sort of hidden jerk. The rest of the site is open to any/everyone, which is of course good, but you never know who might sign up as who knows what other than who they really are. It's much harder to fake a bank account transaction than an email address. Just a thought.

And I totally think it's great that we can help out fayerody. I'm sure DocJohn wouldn't be nearly so quick to offer donations to someone just passing through. Fayerody has enough trust here, people feel we can believe her.

[Nikki2000]

this thread makes me feel sad... sad that reaching out to another in a heartfelt way has descended into an argument of sorts that detracts from the reasons we are all here at PC...

in my personal opinion (for what’s it worth), i don’t believe that anyone would donate support, time, money or whatever purely to become a member of an “exclusive” forum... but i can also see how some may feel left out or excluded when the forums exsistence seems to have sprung out of nowhere...

i am not sure i understand the need for a separate forum although i have nothing against it either... i think this kind of stuff is a trigger for me... it feels confusing... i hate it when it feels like the overall good reason this came about has somehow been overshadowed by the argument...

i don’t know the answer...

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Always ))))))))))))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Taonuviel said:
I'm sure DocJohn wouldn't be nearly so quick to offer donations to someone just passing through. Fayerody has enough trust here, people feel we can believe her.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Has enough trust? How much is enough? What status do we have to reach before we are trusted enough? I am not putting Fayerody down. I am certain that member deserves all the respect we speak of. But many others do also and they are not long time members.

This is just another hierarchy. Our society is structured around hierarchy. Every forum has status labels and points racked up for so many posts. I can post thousands of supportive messages and educated statements and still have deviant intentions. Meanwhile, a new member may be much ore righteous than most of us here but the trust has to be earned. It is sickening, no matter how respectful the "others" have been by "earning" their status. Why should we have to earn any status?

Lori

[Greenleaves]

This is triggering for me too. A long time ago, I donated to the Mental Pollution drive fund and didn't get access to the Supporter's Forum. I thought maybe I didn't donate enough. I think maybe it was because I didn't write that it was Greenleaves that donated? I dunno.

I forgot about it until Doc John mentioned it again for the Fayerody Drive. Then I got majorly triggered that I was excluded since anyone who donates get access and I didn't get access.

I'm not sure what this means, but yeah exclusion hurts. Even though I have access now I still get triggered when I read about exclusion. So yeah, I'm still kind of upset about this even though I have access now.

(((( Everyone ))))

This thread is not about who contributes what.

Again, I will say that I posted it because there are people here who have met the criteria to join the private forum but DID NOT KNOW about it.

I had PM's from people that read about the fundraiser and the "reminder" that if they gave money, they could join. They knew nothing about it and asked me to explain.

I realized that there were probably more members, some old, some new, that had no idea it existed or what it was.

I made this thread suggesting that this info be made available so that people who were curious understood.

This was discussed in May of '06 when it was first put into place and there were a lot of hurt feelings then. I regret that it has happened again.

But, I just thought if there was a thread about it explaining what it was, it would make it feel less "secretive."

I'm sure it was not the intent of admin to keep it quiet, more like an oversight.

Petunia

[Taonuviel]

Trust is a hard thing to gauge, especially among the vulnerable (like us mentally ill). It HAS to be earned. Trust given freely invites disasterous results. It would be an unrealistic expectation to think I'll be trusted right away upon entering a new place. The money-link and time factors are things that just help build trust. It's unfortunate that such things are needed, but the internet can be a very dangerous place for the unwary.

[DocJohn]

You know folks, I'm sorry some people are upset that they "just found out" about the Supporters Forum. We announced it when we created it (yup, the Announcement is still there in the Announcements forum), as one small way of saying "Thank you" to anyone and everyone who really goes the extra mile in this community and helps out in some quantifiable way. It started with the poetry book, and has blossomed to include both monetary donations to other members and to people who reach a certain posting level (ostensibly because they've been so "supportive" of others, hence the name). We don't have a whole of lot of ways we can give members something special for helping out, and that was one of the most obvious (and is used in a similar fashion in many online communities).

Now, I agree, we don't do a very good job of letting new members know about this forum, since it is private, and donation fund drives don't come up too often (we try and not do more than 6 or 7 a year).

The donation fund drives came up because members sometimes find themselves in dire straights out-of-the-blue. We screen members who ask for financial assistance, and try to make sure their story checks out as much as we can, but ultimately we are trusting of others. Why do we get involved in this manner? Because members came to us and asked us to, because of another member's need and wanting to get money to them quickly, but not wanting to get directly involved for privacy or other reasons.

So while I do honestly appreciate the difference of opinion, I'm not sure how this affects any member not interested in donating to another member (simply don't, it's not required and only a tiny, tiny percentage of members actually do). Just ignore the occasional fund raising drives and use the forums for what you came here to use them for -- support.

We're a living, breathing, whole community here, and in my mind, that always means helping one another out when they're down. Yes, we do that everyday emotionally. But since we have the means (e.g., the many can help out the few), it also means helping out as much as we can with additional needs when we can, such as financial. I agree, it may not make much sense if you just found us and think we're just like any other self-help support forum online. But if stay here long enough, you'll see we try hard to be more than just another forum...

Best,
DocJohn

[radio_flyer]

No body has to prove anything here. What I was trying to say when saying "prove it" was saying prove to yourself that you can meet the guidelines to go to the private forum.

Everyone is "good enough" to go to the private forum. The issue is, for one, folks knowing that the forum is available to those who meet the requirements. And second.. o gee i forgot the second..

Many people would love to contribute to help fayerody. I would love to help her because I have been in such situations myself. However, this being a supportive psych forum, has separated some people , unintentionally. I remember when I performed a kind act to somebody and this person felt bad because they could not show their appreciation in some monetary way.

Monetary donations may be what a person needs but manyy who would like to help cannot afford to and I am certain that Fayerody knows and understands this. Perhaps a simple thank you would have been the best reward rather than private memberships.

(yup, the Announcement is still there in the Announcements forum),

Doc,

I did not see your Announcement "Are you a Supporter of PC?" because my default was set to "Show active in the last year," and not from "all dates." Sorry, my mistake.

(People might want to check their defaults if they want to go back a few years.)

Now, I agree, we don't do a very good job of letting new members know about this forum, since it is private, and donation fund drives don't come up too often (we try and not do more than 6 or 7 a year).

Is there any way to let members who have reached Grand Magnate status know, like adding an asterick to the 3,000 post mark with a reminder at the bottom? I'm sure a lot of the members who have reached it or surpassed it might like to join.

My original post was about letting people know that there were other ways of joining, and not just about donating money.

0 Visitor
1 New Member
5 Junior Member
20 Member
300 Veteran Member
500 Grand Member
1000 Poohbah
1500 Grand Poohbah
2000 Magnate
3000 Grand Magnate
5000 Elder
7500 Wise Elder
10000 Legendary
20000 Legendary Wise Elder
50000 Wisest Elder Ever

[pegasus]

I was shunned from joining the supporters forum because I didn't hand over any money and yet I have been supportive here at PC.

I love Psych Central, but the fact that I WAS excluded because I hadn't donated and hadn't reached the required amount of posts really upset me at the time.

As you can see from the amount of posts I do here, and the amount of time I put in, every day, I still feel hurt and will not be joining the supporters forum.

PC would have to PAY me to join that now!

I will continue to be supportive on these boards though.

[bebop]

we all give support in one way or another. the supporters forum has been here at pc for well over a year now. I don't read all threads and all announcements either but should it be taken so personal that some didn't know about it? I think sometimes we wear our feelings on our shoulders and in that hurt others feelings and it is needless. I wasn't part of that "private" forum either until I reached 3000 post. there have been many times that a fund raiser was set up to help someone and I felt really bad that I could not contribute. Please everyone let's be greatful we have PC and the loving people here and yes when we happen to need help we are able to come here to get it whether it be a shoulder to lean on or even at times money if the real need is there.

I think Doc has done a wonderful job here.