No reason to celebrate!

My 40th b-day is coming up in September. Steve is still in the hospital, but started discussing some things we could do together with his family to celebrate. He said his Mom asked what I wanted/needed..etc...

I told him " I am NOT celebrating my b-day, or any other holiday until my kids are home!!!" He responded "And you wonder why people don't like you?" I explained that there is nothing worth celebrating without my children. This is the way I feel and I can't and/or won't stop feeling this way ever. Is this selfish of me? Both of my "parents " are deceased and I have no family except my kids. When and if the courts say they can come home, then I will celebrate with the best of them!!!

Until then....I remain as I am

Hello (((MYBESTKIDS))). I hope in time you will change your mind that your life is just as important as anyone elses life to celebrate. I do understand your reasoning, but you deserve to be happy in celebrating your life as well. Take care and best wishes. Soidhonia

Both of my parents have both died & the trauma I went through with my mothers death left me very ill for quite a while (that was only 2 1/2 years ago). I have one daughter who moved out of state, & I have since moved away also. I can honestly say that I can celebrate my life because it is wonderful.....being independent & being happy with the life you have at the moment (& it can always get better) is an important way to look at life. If we are miserable....then we make everyone around us miserable. Things are what they are for the time being....& they will always change. There is no reason to suffer until that change happens.....you have to live the life you have now & make the best of what that is.....the when you do get your children back, you can rejoice & be glad for that positive change......but there is no need to be so miserable until that time comes.

Sometimes we continue our misery because we are punishing ourselves for what ever happened.......but that also is in the past....& if we learn from what ever happened, they we should be happy that we aren't continuing down that path & start making a good life for when your children do come back......sometimes we get stuck in our misery & even when good things happen, we continue being miserable....you wouldn't want your children to come back to that?????

Life is to celebrate.....even if it isn't the way we want it to be at the moment.....planning for the future & making things better with a positive attitude is what makes life worth celebrating.....even a 40th birthday....even if you aren't where you wanted to be at that point in your life....it will come about eventually.....so live for what you want it to be....otherwise that may pass if you let it & you will never have anything you would feel like celebrating.

Try to look at life with a positive attitude.....you will truely feel much better in your daily life....there is always something positive if you look at it that way. I have gone through similar feelings & have come to this conclusion finally by the age of 54 & after many years of not celebrating either.

Take care & look for even little things to celebrate....they really are there,
Debbie

Debbie