Using mental illness as an excuse

I have been thinking a lot about what my cousins fiance has been saying about me becoming independent and not relying on a counsellor and medication to improve me. I understand what he says as I am assuming that he is concerned that I will use my psychologist and my medication as another scapegoat. However how do I become independent if I have no idea how to function completely on my own. Is he really right that these are just more excuses to blame my mental health instead of becoming independent. To be honest I 100% think so. I cannot remember a time that I haven't used my state of mind to escape a consequence of a behaviour but that's not that what happened on a social scale. There will always be a consequence for my anti-social and uncooperative behaviour wither I want to see it or not. The issue now is to stop hiding behind it.

I don't see it as "using issues as an excuse", as much as I see it as still getting stuck trying to alter behaviors and thoughts in the ways you want to.

Do you believe your anti-social and uncooperative behavior is fixed and can never change?

I'm processing your question. I have known for awhile now about my issues that are with cognitive thinking disorder, which is alot of me taking others people's words differently. Lately my life as single mom, work and having a boyfriend that I see twice a month for years is too much. I'm sorry but I believe you and I can change its determination. I don't want to lose any more loved ones out of life, so I have to think there's a whole new way of learning and techniques to get better. Plus I cannot take no for a final answer

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If someone is paralyzed and they don't run in a race,are they using their disability as an "excuse"? The biggest problem is that people still don't understand that mental illness is a disorder the same as physical illness. It can get better-people have learned to walk again also- and the person should get treatment but it is not their fault if it doesn't get better on the timeline everyone thinks it should.

In history we've made heroes out of people who have done things to put their health at risk but I would rather feel better than be a hero.I'm not going to do something that I know is bad for me at the time and could put me in the hospital, no matter how many people think I'm using my illness as an "excuse". Someday I may be ready, but if I'm not ready now, they can get it over it.

I don't see it being an excuse when you're not emotionally capable of being independent. Independence requires a certain amount of emotional stability. Forcing someone to be independent when they're not emotionally equipped to handle it is a recipe for disaster. I think there should be some more importance on whether emotional stability is sufficient enough to handle a fully independent lifestyle.

That's exactly how I feel about it not emotionally stable enough to be independent and it is very hard because the worse I get emotionally with my unpredictableness and anger that sometimes doesn't make any sense to logical. Also taking people's words so literally whenever someone says a criticism to improve. Somehow though Antonio my cousins fiance has somehow made me understand that people's criticism is related to my behaviours which was something I never understood before. With that new understanding I was able to clean my cousins house and make the steps to change.

I apologize for any ignorance on my comment earlier. I've only just had one appointment with therapist and will definitely continue to go because I understand how I need it. I have started to comment on here and taught me quick lesson. I hate when someone says to me "Don't worry about it, everybody has some stress and know how to deal with it or let it go. So hurtful because those words don't click in my head and when anxiety sets in a feel this hot fire through my body and it doesn't exit just keeps circling around and exhausting to constantly fight in my head over everything it doesn't stop and I want it to so badly. I'm truly sorry for being on here it was on my lunch break and my boss was outside smoking too besides me and I was strolling through here and hoping I could help. My boss had just talked to me like a dog when I first got to work and on my break earlier I couldn't even concentrate to play scrabble with her there, it's a mistake and I hope you truly understand that my comment was not thought out completely or even read all ur post man wish can take back because I hate myself to hurt somebody else. I have such a big heart and I don't know ur situation anyway. Ugh worst day ever... Please let me know if you forgive me, thanks have a good one y'all

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People can and do use mental illnesses to excuse bad behavior instead of working on coping skills to smoth the edges of the illness. But telling someone who is actively trying to get better and using a T and medication that they are dependent is reveling their own ignorance. You don't tell someone with a broken leg to just get up and walk on it. Especially if it is a compounded or multi fractured leg. As long as you are working with a T and trying medications, using coping skills to change your behavior it's not a dependency it's a healthy attempt to grow towards independence. Some people see Ts for years to make sure there are coping well and to get reality checks.

So maybe you do sometimes use the mi for an excuse to get out of a tight spot, you are working on it! That doesn't negate everything you have been working towards and it certainly doesn't make you dependent.