How did you come back from a severe relapse?

Hi, it's been a year since I had a horrendous relapse that left me hearing voices, anxious, scared, depressed, and a big mess. I literally powered through what should have been a trip to the psych ward. I had been working too hard, skipping therapy, trying to quit smoking, and spending a lot of time alone. Just when my life being independent came I had a big setback.

At the time of my relapse I had just become independant. I paid my rent, food, gas, etc... and that was a big deal for me. I was feeling pretty positive about my life.

Now I'm not the same anymore but I'm getting back to my old ways. I make a little money and live at home. I don't really have any dreams, goals, or direction. I've literally gone from last summer struggling hour to hour to now atleast being able to think about the future. I went up on Zyprexa to a very high dose and now I'm tired most days all days which makes it difficult for me to perform basic tasks. I have trouble getting motivated so I do the easy-to-do to-do lists to get myself going.

My therapy sessions have been ok. I'm pretty seasoned with the whole mental illness thing after 8 years in the game. I know about how to ask for help, how to approach certain situations, recognizing symptoms etc.. I'm an activist etc..

In therapy we raised the question, "why did you stop believing in yourself?" I've been trying to answer it, but I'm still not at an answer yet. I've been single for years and though I've had opportunities at relationships I've not jumped on it. At this point I'm looking for a good woman, but I've been so defeated, beaten down, and rejected I have difficulty feeling any hope or confidence things will go my way.

I have no energy most of the time. I have friends. I have access to therapists, meds, community resources etc.. and I've been ok for these last 3 months. I guess I'm wondering how to, as my therapist said, "take it to the next level." There's a big part of me that wants to get independant again. I've been struggling with emerging adulthood and getting my eggs in a row as far as basic responsbilties.

In the past 4 weeks I've had my plans derailed to start volunteering because of someone elses sucide attempt I had to stop and dealing with the aftermath of that and my own struggles with work etc... I'm like a magnet for peoples problems which I don't mind but it's never just a conversation it's taking ownership. For awhile there I was getting out of my comfort zone, my therapist told me, "try and get out of your comfort zone," I performed a freestyle on stage at a bar with my buddies band, went to community organizing events and it was starting to work. I just havent had the energy or drive recently to get back involved with my volunteer efforts.

I think it would really help to hear how other people got back on their feet after a big or small relapse that set them back.

thanks,
d

For me I found there were years that I hit rock bottom and it took at least a year or two to get back to some kind of normality. I never seemed to fully regain what I had lost. The crashes seemed to get bigger and bigger until the last one that has left me unable to function in the real world.

Each person's journey is different. Learning to know what is right for you and what is helpful is a big start. It also depends on the illness and the persons character.

It's kind of like walking on an emotionally broken bone. You get most of your strength back but there will always be a sense of vulnerability/weakness. We need to look after ourselves.

forced myself to be more active. It was really important that the activities be scheduled and regular

Shower, make up, getting dressed and out to do something helps a lot.

Got lucky and found a wonderful pdoc, got on a good medication regime, take regular walks/do yoga, and work a lot on being in the here and now.