[The Split End]

So shall I go with a preamble? Some verbal foreplay? Or cut to the meat of it?

Not sure why I am here but lately I feel incredibly trapped in a rut if you will, a sadness that is pervasive...a sort of melancholy detatchment from my life.

Life is hard for me, made bad choices and even more bad choices.
Still occasionally make spectacularly horrid choices.
Sometimes I learn but lately it hasn't been about learning from falling, but learning from falling so many times that I am no longer afraid of a fall...but my life now requires a big change and the potential for a spectacular fall is possible.

I won't lie because its pointless to. I am afraid. The worst feats occur on this tightrope walk and I am using an elephant as a balance beam.

I am not sure the point of this ramble is but if any of you good natured folks have any input on whays wrong with me well....your input would be most welcome ☺

Have you a diagnosis? We are not professionals. We can offer up suggestions (without further information I am leaning towards Depression), but we really need a great deal more information.

[Skeezyks]

Hello The Split End: Well... I'm the king of bad choices, I think! So I can sympathize with your situation, even if I can't offer any insight into it at this early juncture. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[TRNRMOM]

Originally Posted by The Split End

So shall I go with a preamble? Some verbal foreplay? Or cut to the meat of it?

Not sure why I am here but lately I feel incredibly trapped in a rut if you will, a sadness that is pervasive...a sort of melancholy detatchment from my life.

Life is hard for me, made bad choices and even more bad choices.
Still occasionally make spectacularly horrid choices.
Sometimes I learn but lately it hasn't been about learning from falling, but learning from falling so many times that I am no longer afraid of a fall...but my life now requires a big change and the potential for a spectacular fall is possible.

I won't lie because its pointless to. I am afraid. The worst feats occur on this tightrope walk and I am using an elephant as a balance beam.

I am not sure the point of this ramble is but if any of you good natured folks have any input on whays wrong with me well....your input would be most welcome ☺

i am probably older than you and female but i will offer input since you didn't write specific details about what is going on so i'll ramble a little and offer my perspective: very recently i did something while manic that had some very severe and stressful ramifications including a lawsuit being filed against me and some others who were victims to my manic actions. i knew the lawsuit was filed as i read it when it was served on another victim of mine and i can only explain the stress and anxiety that took over my life waiting to be actually served with a copy of the lawsuit and not knowing what final outcome would be, which would be a financial judgment against me. found a lawyer friend to handle all of these but for 3 months i had to double my sleep meds, take addl. anxiety meds. and would either push hubby away after beating myself up and punishing myself emotionally, but then needing him to support me and needing continuos reassurance that he wouldn't leave me (married for 30 yrs.) but feeling he didn't deserve me....i'm 70 and just tired of fighting my mental illness as well as some physical ailments but you might be anxious over making a decision and the not-knowing was a killer to me emotionally....once i got served with papers and after 3 mos. the case was settled minimally and the other 2 victims were dismissed from the lawsuit, i was then in a position to begin my healing...but it felt like p.t.s.d. when resolution came and it took several days to regain my stability and feeling of shelf-worth. whatever it is that you are dealing with, i am sure in due time you will find the answers or resolution....and then you can say you learned your lesson thru the adversity and be blessed...at least that is where i am at this point in the aftermath of doing so much destruction to myself and others.

[avlady]

That was nice post above