[lolliebug]

I was kind of told today, as a suggestion, to try and develop a relationship with myself. To not have to distract myself from my thoughts all the time and get to know who I am.

I am not really sure how to do this. Just sit in silence and let my thoughts flow? Meditate?

What do you do (or what would you do) to get to know yourself?

[LadyShadow]

I do the things I like, enjoy time with myself and spend time with people that make me happy. The best way to get to know yourself is to enjoy being who you are and everything that make you, you. To me anyway, that's how I do it.

And always remember to be kind to yourself

[lolliebug]

Thank you

Being kind to myself is something I still need to learn how to do. I also don't enjoy my own company most of the time for some reason. I mostly think of all the things I have done wrong, or what else I will mess up in the future.

I don't know how not to do this. I've been told multiple times that I need to learn to enjoy my time alone. The only way I know how to do this is to entertain myself with games, crafts and reading.

[MickeyCheeky]

Do you see a therapist? A lot of people that want to know themselves, and deal with it, often see one.

[Misssy2]

I found your question interesting.
I found the answers interesting.
I like MikeyChics...answer the best so far.

I do think that being in therapy helps me know myself because my therapist over the years have pointed out things about me and the way I behave that I really wouldn't have recognized myself.

Like the last time I was at therapist...he said he noticed I was hyperfocused. And he said I was this way on the previous visit as well. I didn't know what that meant and I had some discussion in here and found a link that it explained hyperfocused well.

It means...I focus on ONE thing and miss everything else that is going on around me. And he was so right..this is probably what caused me so much anxiety at work and caused me to make so many errors. Because if I was thinking about something else...I was stuck in rumination about it and didn't focus on what I was doing..hence making many errors.

[lolliebug]

I am not currently seeing a therapist.

I was in therapy as a teen and loved my therapist then she left to work somewhere else so I went without therapy for a few years. Luckily I was able to find another one I liked but then my insurance quit covering visits to see him.

I had tried looking for therapist during the earlier months of this past year and had no luck. I didn't fit any of them well and didn't even like going to see them. I like therapy when I click with my therapist though.

Right now what I do have is called Peer Support. It is a person who has been through mental illness in their life and has taken classes on how to help others with mental illness. I click very well with my peer support person so maybe asking him about it might help. He is not a therapist though so I'm not sure.

I might think about looking for another therapist again when my car gets fixed and I can make it to appointments. Right now I am able to see my peer support because he comes to my house for appointments.

[ThunderGoddess]

My therapist helped me very much. While you wait to find a therapist the peer support sounds helpful. But it's hard to develop a relationship with yourself while you think negative things about yourself. Those negative thoughts are like fog so it's hard to get to know yourself until you clear the fog.

If you think of yourself as another person... If you think negative thoughts about someone your less likely to ask them questions, listen /accept their problems, help them without judgement ect. It would be the same for the self. You have to question negative thoughts about yourself, listen and accept yourself and be less jugemental of your mistakes.

Your hobbies sound fun though nothing wrong with having those while you are alone but take time in your day without them. Although all of this may be easier with a therapist because you will likely have many questions that a therapist could help show you how to dig around yourself for answers.

[lolliebug]

Thank you ThunderGoddess, that makes a lot of sense