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  #1  
Old Mar 26, 2017, 08:43 PM
AsaBoxofRocks AsaBoxofRocks is offline
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I've been in a really dark place as of late and I've expressed that I am having suicidal thoughts to my loved ones. In the past, when life has been tough, I've done the same thing. I'm concerned that I may have narcissistic personality disorder and I'm using manipulation to control the outcome. I don't want to be this way! What should I do?
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  #2  
Old Mar 27, 2017, 01:09 AM
Azureseas Azureseas is offline
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Hi,
I'm fairly new to posting here and just wanted to say that I admire your willingness to even ask yourself that hard question re: whether you might be using manipulation as a way of controlling the situation. It takes a lot of self awareness and insight --as well as courage to ask ourselves those kinds of questions and then be willing to listen to others perspectives who know you!
May I ask, do you have a therapist? A good starting point for exploring these issues or any mental health issues is therapy. When you find a good one, it can really be helpful. At least, that's been my experience.
I think if I were you (as I keep in mind the obvious--I'm not!) I'd probably ask those closest to you when the time is right for a calm conversation. You could say something like "I have some concerns about how I'm feeling and also about how I relate to people I care about. I value our relationship and I'm concerned that when I talk about feeling suicidal you might feel I am seeking attention, control, sympathy or somehow trying to manipulate you or the situation. I'd truly like to hear your thoughts on this if you are willing..."
Anyway, I wish you the best and I hope you feel better and get some support!
  #3  
Old Mar 27, 2017, 01:28 AM
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reb569 reb569 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AsaBoxofRocks View Post
I've been in a really dark place as of late and I've expressed that I am having suicidal thoughts to my loved ones. In the past, when life has been tough, I've done the same thing. I'm concerned that I may have narcissistic personality disorder and I'm using manipulation to control the outcome. I don't want to be this way! What should I do?
Gut instinct here tells me that Narcissistic PD is probably not your ailment, solely because in general, those with NPD do not have concerns for others, only themselves. Your concern seems to be related to how you are impacting others.

That said, your thoughts are a concern and could be caused by another mental illness. If you are not already in therapy, I think it would be wise to consider it.

Best of luck!
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Thanks for this!
*Laurie*, Cocosurviving
  #4  
Old Mar 27, 2017, 01:49 PM
Ansley Wyman Ansley Wyman is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: California
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Have you tried to hurt yourself before? As far as I know, those people who plan to commit suicide have the tendency to do it again. If I were you, I would consult a pyschologist and maybe he/she will provide you behavioral or cognitive therapy, and worst is ECT. The latter is just a joke! Good luck
  #5  
Old Mar 27, 2017, 02:13 PM
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Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
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I think you have done the first thing that is important to your journey in improving yourself. Admitting you have a problem is the first step when it comes to an effort towards self improvement.

I think it's important to be "careful" about asking others around you in that the last thing you need right now is criticism that can "hurt" you to where you go back to practicing unhealthy coping methods. I think you were wiser making the attempt to ask this question in a place where others struggle and you may get some good advice even though none of the members here are professionals and cannot actually diagnose you.

I do think you would benefit from looking into finding a therapist/psychologist that can listen to you and consider from "listening" what you may struggle with and what can help you overcome that challenge.

I think when looking for a therapist it would be a good idea to find a therapist/psychologist that specializes in treating patients that struggle with CEN, which is childhood emotional neglect. Often unhealthy manipulations come from struggling with childhood emotional neglect in an effort to gain the attention a child may need and is not getting. Yet, there is a deep "shame" under it all that needs to be worked through.
  #6  
Old Mar 27, 2017, 03:25 PM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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I commend you for being so honest with yourself. That is not typical of someone with NP. Are you in therapy?
  #7  
Old Mar 27, 2017, 04:49 PM
AsaBoxofRocks AsaBoxofRocks is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Laurie* View Post
I commend you for being so honest with yourself. That is not typical of someone with NP. Are you in therapy?
No, I can't afford it.
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*
  #8  
Old Mar 27, 2017, 06:48 PM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AsaBoxofRocks View Post
No, I can't afford it.
What about a support group? I'm not sure what's available in Canada...for example, we have NAMI here and I do believe there are some NAMI chapter sin Canada...totally free, and really helpful, support groups for everyone who wants to attend.
  #9  
Old Mar 27, 2017, 07:17 PM
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Cocosurviving Cocosurviving is offline
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Consider joining a support group there free. I found that I was able to get feedback from others with similar experiences. It was a great help to have IRL people that could understand my struggles. Go to NAMI.org and search for a group in your area
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