[breezer]

Hello friends-

First off, I appreciate Doc John and the Psychcentral staff for dreaming up this site and maintaining and participating in it all these years. Next, I celebrate all the friends I have connected with and the fun and support we have shared.

I have been driven to write this post because I have witnessed some changes to the site chat rooms that are anything but user friendly. They are as follows, and I will keep it brief:

1. Skyping seems like a fun avenue to pursue. It seems many of our members are enjoying verbally chatting with each other in addition to the usual on screen banter. While I do not want to discourage this practice, I find it somewhat disturbing that when an individual logs on to a chat room with many people listed as being present, none are paying any attention to on screen chatting as they are busy "Skyping". When one attempts to chat it is as if the room is vacant. To a Psychcentral newcomer, this could be devastating. They may even feel ignored.

2. The proliferation of private "password protected" rooms also is discouraging. While it has been said that sometimes folks just want to speak privately, it is my understanding that this has been the longstanding function of PM windows.

Perhaps incorporating a separate "skyperoom" setting might help, and also an option to ask permission to enter private rooms where friends are could also prove helpful.

I come to PC to share ideas, to laugh with friends, to work through problems and HOPEFULLY inspire. I value all of your input and I hope you will keep an open mind about the frustrations I have just shared.

Peace to you all.

-Breezer.

[h0kie]

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breezer said:
1. Skyping seems like a fun avenue to pursue. It seems many of our members are enjoying verbally chatting with each other in addition to the usual on screen banter. While I do not want to discourage this practice, I find it somewhat disturbing that when an individual logs on to a chat room with many people listed as being present, none are paying any attention to on screen chatting as they are busy "Skyping". When one attempts to chat it is as if the room is vacant. To a Psychcentral newcomer, this could be devastating. They may even feel ignored....

Perhaps incorporating a separate "skyperoom" setting might help, and also an option to ask permission to enter private rooms where friends are could also prove helpful.


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What in the world is "Skyping"? That's a new one, even to me.

As for the private rooms, DocJohn encourages members to make private rooms to talk if they aren't comfortable talking in the main rooms (i.e. too many teenagers, too many adults, etc.)

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DocJohn said:

1. Chat rooms are not for everyone. Chat rooms require everyone to act and be respectful of one another and the space they may be in. Some people may react badly if they go into a chat room and find they are talked to in a way they weren't ready or expecting. So please be aware that there are real live human beings, sometimes in pain or confusion, behind those user names. Please be generous and caring in your behavior in the rooms at all times.

2. If you find yourself starting to engage in a "serious" conversation one on one with another user, consider moving to private chat with that user. Anybody is able to setup their own private chat room on the system at any time. Use these rooms to hang out with friends or engage in that longer-term serious conversation with another member, without being bothered by other members. If you hang out in a public room with others, sometimes you may be expected to say something or asked a question. And if you hang out in a public room instead of creating your own private room, be aware that it is a PUBLIC room and anybody can and is welcomed to access it at anytime.

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I hope you find the answers you're looking for. Good luck.

[Rose3]

what is skying?

[sabby]

Skype(ing) is a chat program similar to yahoo or msn chat. You can make internet phone calls over Skype to other Skype members and it is free or you can call landlines and cell phones for a nominal charge. Skye is one of the most secure ways of communicating with others as everything that goes over the internet airwaves through Skype is scrambled and no one can intercept those conversations.

Now, to answer breezer. (Sorry didn't mean to hijack the thread, I just wanted to answer questions as to what Skype was).

h0kie is correct that Doc John encourages making private chat rooms when folks need some privacy when discussing personal issues that they may not want to speak of in general/social/support chat. While I understand that it can be frustrating when folks are listed as being present and they do not respond, sometimes they are just away from the computer and may not know how to mark themselves as being away.

Live chat can be difficult at times. There are so many different personalities with many different illnesses to take into account. Some folks are in a space where they can offer their support and some folks are in a space where they need support. The chat program is there for folks to access and while it may not be perfect for everyone, it is a wonderful avenue for finding or giving support as needed.

Another thing to remember is this.....there are many members who only go into the chat rooms and do not participate on the forums. There is nothing wrong with that. But from my experience, it has been nice to get to know some folks on the forums and then meet them in chat for a more indepth meeting.

Many folks here form friendships on the forums and/or in chat. In a community as large as ours, there will be groups of folks that come together with mutual interests and find they depend on each other for individual support along the way. Please don't take that as a meaning that they are trying to leave anyone out....they are only leaning on those they have become close with.

((((((((((((((((((( breezer ))))))))))))))))))) I understand your frustrations. I'm sorry this is bothering you. I hope you can find a way through the frustration so that your chat sessions are more favorable for you. See you in chat soon I hope!

xoxox
sabby

I just want to say that I really do understand what you are saying.

(((((((((((((Breezer))))))))))))

[bebop]

does this place have that skyping thing now? I haven't been in chatrooms lately except on Tuesday nights.

[sabby]

no bebop we don't have skype here. I think what breezer is saying is that folks are listed as being in the chatroom and are actually running the skype program (or other chat type of program) on their computer and talking there and not in the PC chatroom, making it seem as though they are not available on PC chat to interact with others.

Hugssss
sabby

[bebop]

oh ok lol thought I missed something lol I knew people had been asking for voice chat here

regardless of the method or technology, i understand the problem...it seems people go to chat because they're bored and then strike up private conversations for whatever reasons.
to me chat is for pressing problems that might be bothering you where you need some input right away.
to enter and find disintersted paries is discouraging.
it's not for idle banter (other than social), it's for help with issues as i understand it.

[DocJohn]

Let me just add that just because people aren't talking doesn't mean we know what they're doing... Sometimes people walk away from the computer, or don't feel like talking, or are in private messaging with another member in the room. I don't assume to know what folks are doing, and just assume that if they don't want to talk, I can't make them.

Chat is definitely a different experience than the forums and it's not for everyone. We try and do our best here with helping people in whatever modality they are available in. But that may not work for everyone, so I encourage folks to use the modality that works best for them (forums, chat, blog, whatever...)

Best,
DocJohn

[SeptemberMorn]

Thank you, Doc John!

It's good to consider where other people may be emotionally and not always expect everyone to be ready to jump in and support us when we need it. When all else fails, we need to look to ourselves. After all, nobody knows better than we do what we really need.

Many times, for me, chat is a diversion from my own problems. You never know. Someone may say something completely off subject to our problems that resonates with us. At that point, we don't need to spill our guts. We simply apply what we've read.

<font color="#000088">I usually stay out of the chat rooms, because I get confused when there is more than one conversation going on at once. It's kindof hard to tell who's talking to who! So if it's not for ya, just don't go there. That's the way I look at it!
Since it confuses me,I don't go there anymore! Problem solved! </font>

[alyssa_angel]

i agree with doctor john you cant make people talk if they dont want to, but its a shame you cant priv message some one who is in another room.

There are constantly times i forget i have my chat window up and come back later to find i left people on their own, its not intentional, it just happens.

sam x

[Raynaadi]

I wasn't going to post in this thread, but I decided to share since I've spent plenty of time in the chatrooms. I'm a HUGE multitasker when I'm online. I can't help it...I don't think I'm ADD but sometimes I wonder when it comes to the internet.

A lot of times when I go into chat, a discussion was already started in a thread or in PM's that I can't step away from, but I still want to say hi in chat. Sometimes my phone rings and I think it'll be a minute but it turns into an hour. One time recently, my cat got a hold of a gecko in the apartment and it was grossing me out, so I was sporadically in chat. Other times, someone is in the room who needs to talk about something only I know, or the other way around, so we talk in private. I always have the tv on because I hate quiet, and sometimes something catches my attention and I tune away from the computer for 5 minutes.

I don't do these things intentionally. Sometimes I go into the room because I'm lonely and want to feel connected, but I have nothing to add to conversation. But I know people are there and feel like I have company.

I sometimes feel left out when I see people in a private room and its password protected and I can't get in. But I totally understand the occassional need to be surrounded by people I know, who know me. I've done the private room thing before when I've needed to talk to a select few. Again, its not meant to be purposely offending, its just the need at the time.

The chatrooms ebb and flow. I've noticed that a lot in my time here. There have been times when I've been in chat for weeks at a time, and other times, like lately, where I haven't been. For me, it all boils down to my need. Sometimes I need to laugh and be silly in chat, especially if I'm already depressed, if the topics are down to me, I don't stay.

For me, I have to remember that everyone here has a lot of issues that don't come out on PC, not to everyone. Everyone here has their own sets of needs. I try not to take it personally, and when I do, I step away. Thats just how I have to do it, for my own sanity.

[biiv]

i feel on the boards like im beginning to have a position that is accepted. in chat however i almost always feel totally excluded and abandoned because the conversation is between people i dont know from adam or because there are a large amount of people registered as in chat but i cant see them i.e. they are in private chat. i dont know who they are or if they would let me join their chat if i knew who they were. it triggers a lot of invisibility and abandonment issues in me.
im not complaining about how things are since a lot of people seem to find that the current situation works. im just stating my experience.
biiv

[breezer]

OK OK I admit I chose the title of this thread to grab peoples' attention. Perhaps it could have been something different, as I did not intend to bash this site at all.

It is true that people get diverted, use the loo, grab a snack, or even pass out on their keyboards.

Also sometimes folks are just in the mood to take in the chat and not participate. Other times they are PMing , or what not.

...however, when there are 7 users in social chat and none of them are responding, it can be an indicator that they are skyping.

Skype On my friends, just try to remember if you are still in a chat room to log out or keep an eye on your chat windows.

Thanks for letting me share. Sorry for the controversy

Peace.

-Breezer

<font color="#000088">I don't believe there was a need for an apoligy here. You stated a concern you had. Which I believe that you have every right to do. It also gave others the chance to state their concerns and opinions as well. I don't think you were in the wrong by voicing your concerns at all! I hope you got whatever answers or results you were looking for! This is a great Website, and that is why you should have every right to voice your concerns, without being penalized for it!
At least IMO! </font>